sticker shock

I did the megarun to Kroger today and was aghast at how much prices have risen just in the past two weeks.  The chicken store usually has the cheapest gas in town but it was WAY high today.  I went on down the road and paid 3.16 at a Marathon and then noticed that the freakin' Exxon station was a dime cheaper.  I am half ass making some progress with keeping the bills paid but sheesh.  In a year my monthly income will be cut by almost 800 bucks when my LTD runs out.  What's an old lady to do?  I'm too old to find a sugar daddy so I'll just have to depend on Big Ernie to see me through.  

I'm a gonna' go shopping for some jeans that fit at the thrift store.  I can't really wear anything tight because of el baggo so it's a dilemma.  I have one pair that don't squish the bejesus out of the appliance.  The rest of the time it's sweats.  Meanwhile, my kidneys aren't playing nice at all so I'm headed back to the doc on Monday.  The new BP med didn't work at all so I will share that info as well.  I am checking labels for sodium content and everything I see is out the roof.  I guess moderation is the key.  Who the hell knows.  

I am so proud of Ukraine and their leaders for hunkering down and fighting like hell.  Their democracy was very hard fought for and I wouldn't give it up either.  Putin is the devil in men's equivalent of Prada.  Heartless with a cold soul.  Sounds like somebody else huh?

Y'all hang in there and pray like you mean it ^j^

thunder sleet

Y'all....God is good and all that but puleeeeze stop it with winter 2022.  In years past I would have had things blooming without bein' scared of dying by ice.  I blame Putin.  I'm thinking this whole Ukraine crisis might just put him under.  Dictators never win against NATO and the EU.  I didn't realize that he refers to them as the Ukraine which doesn't recognize their hard fought independence as a country.  Asshat.  I hate power mongers.  No wait, Jesus wouldn't like that.  I will pray for them and send thoughts and prayers .The sleet and slush started about three yesterday and it was a slippery ride from paradise to home.  And it's still hanging around.  In a week it should be 60 and the really deep freezes will be over.  I am forever the optimist.

I woke up early this morning and noticed that I was like, really cold.  Hmm.  I opened the bedroom door and found the "original" front door standing wide open where the wind blew it open.  I prolly burned 5% of that precious propane getting the house warm.  Note to self:  make a handyman list.

I saw my doctor yesterday and he drew some blood which didn't look real good on the reporting end.  He told me to hydrate all weekend and come back on Monday.  I definitely believe that this is all pharma related.  Two years ago my labs were NORMAL even after that horrific surgery.  I'm about ready to go full on homeopathic.  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it ^j^

last day

Me and Joy went on up to Headlines today and found Marla getting her hair did by Ponder surrounded with flowers from her peeps.  This gal has been my stylist for several years until she got busy being a hair wizard and I explored the newbies.  Her first day at the shop was an appointment with me and she seriously forgot the keys.  "Vicki is gonna' KILL me" she said.  I  worked with her twin sister Marsha at the hospital for years.  Small world.

This handyman guy who came yesterday just bought the old Curry Funeral home and I was hooked from the moment I heard that. There are so many stories up in there and Chucky shared one with me today about somebody's wig popping off.  UCMTSU.

Otherwise, it's icy and cold and not at all what I like.  It took me a rather long time to get home through the slush because it came on in a hurry and the temp was 31.  The trees out at paradise were dripping with ice and there was slush on all the roads.  The good news is that it will be warmer tomorrow so voila!

Remember who you are and how you got here.  Listen to that still small voice that says believe.  And always keep keep the faith ^j^

the story teller

As a blogger and social influencer *cough* I am always intrigued with the history of buildings and families.  Each one has a story to tell, or in most cases a whole bunch of them.  I have an opportunity to do just that because of serendipity and chance.  More later on that y'all.  It's huge!

I woke up during a thunderstorm at 6ish which is pretty early for me.  The ceilings were leaking so I just got out of bed and proceeded to surf the web and get my ready on.  I threw towels on the puddles and soldiered on.  This afternoon a guy came to inspect the attic and found no leaks there.  We walked outside and looked up and lo and behold both of us saw big gaps between the windows and metal roof.  Problem solved.

I wish everything were so easy.  Y'all hang in there.  Spring is coming ^j^

junkyard cat

I live on a lovely road that has a big fat honking junkyard at the entrance.  Crushed cars are a mile high and it's the first thing that people see when they pass the airport and golf course.  Add to that the fact that trucks regularly block the entrance to our homes and you get the picture.  There is a beautiful pond next door but it rarely gets noticed for all the hideous stuff on that property.  They sell barrels too.  I'm used to it but lately I've been picking up screws and NAILS from all the traffic up there.  The area of the road in front of the scrap should be kept clean of debris.   Pay somebody or buy a gadget to do it.  I'm sick of plugging my tires.  

All they would have to do is run a giant magnet over that ten feet and it would help.  The problem is this.  If they are not open, potential customers come on down the road and scatter their shit everywhere while they turn around and go back because they ain't no crack money today.  I know, I'm being a bitch.  You gotta' love me though.   I just noticed Oscar is MIA so I better get to searching.  The wind is howling like nobody's business and we have four days of rain.  Yay.

Don't stop believing ^j^

easy loving

We all find it easy to love those who love us.  The really tough part comes in loving our enemies.  Back in the day when I held grudges and played the victim I had harsh feelings toward a lot of folks.  I can honestly say I have never really hated anybody but I sure didn't like some of them.  Jesus told us to pray for them and I have found that to be a gift.  Hatred harms the one who is hating more than the subject.  It eats away at a peaceful soul.  You don't really have to like them, just love them anyway.  Make amends when you can.  I recently made peace with someone who has been on my mind and heart for several years.  All it took was for me to extend a hand in friendship and forget the past.  It takes work and soul searching but it can be done with the help of prayer.

It's warmer today but still windy.  Maybe Reaves will play outside instead of watching Jillian and Addie.  We can only hope.  Y'all keep the faith ^j^

epic

I have noticed lately that more and more of my medical records are showing up at another provider's office which leads me to believe that the healthcare IT system that everybody who has to convert bitches about.  All of my providers are pulled together in one seamless piece where I can access test results and get messages.  This was a great idea when it was first pitched about 20 years ago as the idea that all of your healthcare info could be digitally stored on a card.  We just took the longer route to get there.   I went through two conversions myself just with basic patient care software at the hospital.  It was all fragmented and you had to chase it down.  There's still some of that, but it's much better than it was.  

Today was a washout and I mean that literally.  It rained for four hours like hard and me and Joy sat at the table watching it in anticipation of when the radar showed an all clear.  Then we got our happy asses in the car and went to the drug store pickup line.  The sun even came out for a minute.

Y'all be faithful and kind and never quit believing in the goodness ^j^

alrighty then

Today was a big hump day to deal with.  I visited the nephrologist to be told that I'm headed for renal failure on my current regimen of big pharma.  My first step is to experiment with the BP med and monitor it twice a day.  107/65 makes me feel like shooting myself.  I am Vitamin D3 deficient like most of the rest of the country.  There's a minor thyroid issue but nothing big.  It responds to treatment!  Plus there's the GERD that would be a non factor if I watched what I eat and when.  New med for that and a D3 supplement,  I'll take it and run.  

Reaves didn't have oral surgery today because she turned out to be positive for the big C and they couldn't accept her.  Lauren said she's just really tired.  I can only imagine.  I'm assuming since this is her second case it's Omicron.  Lauren and the pre-school and everybody has been preaching to her to be brave and she got a reprieve.  Gotta' love it!  I also discovered that I have some kind of leaky valve or gasket in my engine so I have a date at Lake Road Amoco at 7:30 sharp on Friday.

I have opened my blinds to let  the sunshine in and check for severe weather.  My friend Tammy came by today and did her magic which makes me feels MUCH better about life.  And so it goes......^j^

methodist chat

My church is trying really hard to reach out to all ages and stages with a focus on evangelism.  Me and Joy went down there for the Tuesday morning fifties event today and it was awesome!  It's good to see church friends besides on Sunday morning.  

I profess to be a Christian, yet I have very limited knowledge of the Bible and how it came to be over the years.  I know the gospel stories and a bit of the Old Testament but I need somebody to explain to me what really happened.  Mary Beth is very good at that because she weaves modern theology into the big picture.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

I don't know which end is up these days but I do know with all my heart that Big Ernie has my back.  Let's all send up a big fat prayer for BG and Reaves as they head for sedation dentistry.  Lerd ^j^

jane gang

I heard today that an old friend died yesterday from complications of almost everything identical to what I had two years ago.  His family was scattered all over the country and they pulled together to help their loved one as advocates.  Only thing he had that I did not is covid.  It strikes the weak.  Were it two years ago, I probably would have not survived the ordeal.  Fly high dude ^j^ I'll see you on the other side.  

I slept late and did lunch with a friend.  We are brainstorming about a new project and I noticed another table doing the same thing with a laptop and phone in the middle.  Cool place.  The food is good but expensive.  Plus I miss that brisket like a mofo.

I noticed a little social interaction going on with a young and older lady who needed to eat.  This sweet girl bought her a gift card so that she would have food on the books.  How cool is that?

It's cold again.  I need to go Valentine shopping after tabernacle tomorrow for Ms. Joy and Reaves. It's Hershey's all around!   Chocolate is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  Especially dark ^j^

my bad

I have been a slacker with all things spiritual for several weeks now.   As a result, the lethargy that has threatened to overtake my spirit is acting out like the devil.  I push myself to keep up with simple tasks like laundry and cleaning house because I want guests to visit.  If you've ever tried to keep a house sanitized with a colostomy in the mix, you know what a challenge it can be.  My ostomy nurse in the hospital taught me the basics of the new plumbing but it took me forever to heal from the surgical wound and learn how to care for an ostomy.  It's a lifelong commitment.  Along the way I have learned a lot and formed friendships with others who deal with the same stuff and give me tips.  

I have always taken good health for granted because I exercised and quit eating heart attack food long ago.  I did aerobics for about 10 years and that probably protected me a lot.  BUT that was in my 30s and this is now.  I still can't force myself to just "be" without distraction which the innerwebs provide a lot of.  I tell myself that I'm staying informed or working  but really I'm running from that small still voice of little Janie who wants to be heard.I take it as it comes in small doses like hearing from a friend who used my roasted pecan recipe over in Idaho with her Granny's Christmas pecans while she and hubs were visiting their son.  I always try to pay it forward like that too.  

Gas has gone up 20 cents this week and my brother says it's because of "my president."  Everybody blames everything on the one in the hot seat.  Yes, he is our president and that was validated on many occasions.   You can't STEAL an election unless you are a dictatorial ruler which Biden certainly is not.  The voters saw Trumpus going over the edge and got out in record numbers to try and stop the madness.  This man has had no official power since January 2021 yet he still has a cult following that would rival Jim Jones and all those Nike people.  If true Republicans want to reclaim their party and what it stands for, they should be very worried like the rest of us.  That Trump is helping to censure people of his party because they stand against him is scary as hell.  

I'm over it, but I ain't giving up ^j^

as you were

I got some lab results this morning which just might explain why I'm so wore out and I welcome a conversation with whomever will discuss the numbers with an old med tech.  I sent out a thousand PTHs and Vitamin D's in my day because we didn't perform them in house  I remember when the urologist came around demanding a GFR with the creatinine and we thought the world was on fire.  Simply put, we were a glorified stat lab for hospitals that didn't keep up.  A random memory from the Dyer County Commission meeting back in 1979 reminded how I got from there to here.  We were county owned and named Parkview.  There was a nursing home next door and we were responsible for drawing blood on their patients for testing in our lab.  Typical rural situation.   

In the court house that night it was packed with employees and practitioners who wanted a sale to Baptist Memorial.  Maurice Elliott and all the suits came in with an offer ten million over market value and BMH backed off and the county took the money.  Thus we became Methodist Healthcare.  This was back when tests for HIV and Hep C were just being discovered.  Scary shit for the blood supply.  Once the FDA directive went into effect for Hep C testing our entire inventory of around 60 units had to be tested and it was all on paper.  The blood bank module of HMS was a masterpiece and it served us well until CHS took over and added paper back into the mix.  I'll never forget that corporate guy just telling me to print it off and attach it to the bag.  I think his name was Thomas and I'm sure he's moved on

 up in the company.    The software engineer told me that normally a company pays for professionals to train end users but this was several hospitals at once and um...we were on our own.  

I also distinctly remember showing my boss on the news about the merger of CHS and HMA.  This turned into a nightmare for all involved and eventually all of us got sold.  Again.  There were attempts to make us a "little Jackson" what with a cath lab and all.  That particular piece scared me more than anything and still haunts me.  That's when troponins had a TAT of 10 minutes.  We did the ACTs for cath until the nursing staff got qualified.  

The company that set up that operation was called Corizon I think.  Hell they may still own it. All I know is that an egocentric respiratory therapist came in like a gang banger with corporate on his side and interventional cardiologists in hadend.  The rest is history.  

I don't know what they do there now but I doubt it's vascular caths.  That location used to the ER back in the day.  Only a few will remember that.  My heart is aching for so many people right now as they struggle to deal with reality.  Peace be still ^j^

poor pitiful me

I broke today y'all.  Like smooth down in a puddle of sobs and tears and I have no idea where it came from.  Well, I kinda' sorta' do but I digress.  I remember when I cried every day until Joyner put me on Prozac and after a week I noticed I went a day without a meltdown.  Then two.  He was the first practitioner to recognize the depression that goes along with hormones in peri-menopause.  That was also around the time that I finished up two years of therapy and was wide open emotionally.

Times change.  Being on an SRUI allowed me to tolerate more stress and not cry about it.  I soldiered on for 20 years after that until it was obvious I needed to "slow down" as Mama would say.  She retired in her early sixties like me and had the joy of helping to raise Lauren as MeMaw.  We still do some of those things with Reaves.  I thought about her as me and her namesake slid down the front steps on the ice and kept going in the yard.  She fell on me just right to get a good ride and my backside took the brunt.  

I don't feel sorry for myself really.  Just tired as hell.  I started the journey with a new doctor today to try and find out why.  I know just enough to ask the right questions.  

Peace ^j^

wonky

I am a patient person, and a survivor.  However, this whole past week has been a lesson in futility for me trying to get propane into the tank.  By some miracle the few drops that were left have kept the logs burning but they are now out and it's just me and two space heaters.  What makes me mad is that this is not the first time this has happened and there was plenty of time to make it right but the company did not.  Simply put, I am not a priority to them as a customer and this will be filed in the "change providers" bin ASAP.  It would be different if it were a power outage, which I had.  That is unavoidable.  Yet Forked Deer Electric and the Dyer County Highway department have done their best to provide power and clear roads.  Trucks can run.  It's clean as a whistle on those roads.  

Meanwhile, it's costing me 10 bucks a day in electricity just to keep those two heaters going.  I know I know.  I should be thankful I'm not sleeping under a bridge or something.  I'm trying to be gracious here but it's wearing me out.  Sometimes you just gotta' let it explode.  

Cabin fever got the best of me so I struck out to town after waking at 6AM and witnessing a gorgeous sunrise.  Of course I went to bed last night at six just to stay warm!!  Oscar won't sleep with me except on the couch and I miss having a snuggle buddy.  

It's so bright out there!  I've been feeding the birds and admiring them as they show their stuff.  They really stand out against that white background.  Ya'll keep on the sunny side ^j^

snow geese

I learned something new today when Bubba was out here on a delivery because he really REALLY loves me.  From the deck, he pointed out large packs of birds in the wheat field and explained that they can ruin a plot in a heart beat.  They pull the seed up out of the ground which ain't good.  Neighbor scared 'em off with a gun!  The county road department plowed both yesterday and today. There's no reason that propane truck can't get here tomorrow.

I officially have cabin fever.  Being out and about every day is just part of my nature and I have a hard time relaxing into total paralysis by mother nature.  And yes, the gas logs are still burning by some miracle.  

Y'all bundle up and keep the faith ^j^

don't piss an old girl off

I didn't even check my BP and went ahead and took a whole pill.  I'm THAT mad at the world.  There was a time when you could count on business people to honor their promises.  Many still do, but my gas company has let me run completely out of propane in the middle of a freakin' winter storm.  The reason for this is the big fish eats little fish mentality of our day and time.  After a little research, I found that my provider was a little fish, probably a mom and pop deal, that was bought by a large corporation owned by some Irish fuel company.  There are two employees in the local office and one of them is, I assume, the driver.  Nobody talks to anybody else so communication is non-existent.  I told the lady today that we would be switching companies and her response was "okay."  It's not her fault, she's just taking calls.  So far the temp is staying steady at 69 with gas logs and two space heaters.  When the logs go out, it will be time to build a pillow fort.  

On the upside I was mad enough to clean the kitchen, so there's that.  I'll get some laundry done and a bit more cleaning.  Maybe watch a little Ozark and get updated on Marty's situation.  That show is like a train wreck.  You can't NOT keep watching.

When life gives you snow and ice, make snow cream.  This too shall pass ^j^

my dumb ass

I actually answered an 800 number today just to mess with them.  It was some debt collector working from home and explaining if I only would give them X amount of money I'd be halfway there.  Couldn't tell me who the provider was but it was on January 23, 2020 when I was freshly pre-op.  Prolly the last one to file.  I'm so sick of this whole healthcare scam.  It's a basic human right.  Consider that when selecting a SCOTUS nominee.  

We may or may not have an ice storm tonight.  My propane people failed to show and so they are history.  I owe Butch Baker a huge thank you for always showing up to save the day.  Even on Christmas Eve.  There's a special place for you buddy.  And more business headed your way.

If it looks slick, it is.  Don't risk a hip fracture to go to the mailbox.  If there's a power outage, gather around the gas logs and electric heaters.  Unless the power lines break, that is.

Big hugs and happy ice day ^j^

the art of layering

My propane tank has a leaky valve and it can't be replaced until all the gas is gone.  Right now it sits at 5% with a promise of a fix and delivery tomorrow prior to the ice storm.  One can only hope!  I have electric heaters but if the lines break that's not an option.  Neither is central heat even if there's gas in there.  My only hope is to get some gas for those logs before it hits.  I ain't worried one bit.  Big Ernie will take care of it.

Speaking of dung beetles, I ran across a picture of my great friend Old Horsetail Snake in memories today.  A former speech writer for the governor of Oregon, he became an elder blogger back in the day when we were all startups and had professional design pages.  His was by SeVen I believe.  Mind was mindfully crafted by Tamara McIntyre as Poop Happens.  After Hoss's wife died, he found himself traveling around the country meeting his followers.  His first stop was a blogger convention in Vegas and then he commenced to go to Michigan, Tennessee and Texas by a collaborative effort among Vicki, me and Tish.  By the time he got to me in Memphis he had been without O2 for hours and I had to visit Lincare in Covington to get him able to breathe on the way to Pecan Lane.  He spent the night up on the hill and I got us stuck in the mud down in the bottoms.  Just wanted to show him the fishing place, ya' know.  Anywho, I had bought him a bottle Jack Daniels and it was in the car with him.  I marched my ass a mile up that hill in the dark and called the wrecker.  No sooner did I get back down the hill than I saw one pissed off old man coming toward me.  "You left me there to die!" he said.  Umm.  Right.  The wrecker got the trusty old Camry out and one of the dogs followed a skunk, got sprayed and chased us.  Hoss being the elder was in the cab while I hung onto the rail outside. You can't make this shit up.

Find something to cuddle with ^j^