ghosting

I just read the last post by The Blogess and she helped me put a finger on what's eating at me.  I used to be a faithful daily blogger, consistent is what Chuck Sigars called me.  Of late, I have become a slacker.  It's like I've run out of stories to tell because I don't know who I am.  I reckon that's either a growth spurt or depression.  Peaks and valleys as the Little General says.  I got a little teary this afternoon when Bubba called to ask if one of my old classmates is still alive.  And many of them are not.  The older you get the more loved ones you lose.  Your world shrinks and you go kind of inward looking for something to live for.  Sometimes I feel guilty about that because I have been so blessed.  I suppose that is is kind of a sad thing to think back over the blessings that God has bestowed on you because it makes you pretty humble.  I didn't deserve any of it.  I was just chosen.  Yet I whined and cried through a major portion of my life about how hard things are.  

I am missing precious time with Reaves and Lauren because although it's only an hour away, our schedules clash.  Reaves will soon be in kindergarten  and she's totally ready thanks to excellent pre-schooling and co-parenting with an emphasis on learning.   She and Lauren and I painted rocks yesterday and next time they are here we'll pick special spots in the flower beds.  We also played waterhose which makes us all squeal.  Thanks to a community, she and Lauren are thriving in spite of the odds.  Never.Give.Up.  Everybody falls short and messes up.  It's getting up and putting on the big girl panties that matters.