on giving up

I was curious following the suicide of Daisy Coleman and watched the documentary on Netflix "Audrie and Daisy" this morning.  I was absolutely mesmerized by the drama and dynamics of this doc because I pretty much lived it.  I wasn't raped or anything but I put myself into a lot of precarious situations as a drunk teenager.  Fortunately God was with me during those times as He is now.  The feature highlights what can happen in small town America where everybody knows everybody and them and they can turn on you in a heartbeat.  Audrie killed herself shortly after her sexual assault.  Daisy and Paige went through see their attackers aquitted not once but twice.  It is an intimate look at proof of law and how families can be torn apart by random acts of violence.  

I have occasional bouts of depression but I have never even considered suicide as a way out.  That hurts way too many people that love me and would feel guilty for the rest of their lives.  Yet I understand those who have considered it.  Sometimes the pain is so bad that it just won't go away.  No amount of hugs or caring or anything else will help the hopeless feeling of not wanting to live.

As for me, I will live it to the natural end with gusto.  I may be getting older and have some problems but somebody always has 'em worse than me.  I am not homeless and starving.  I have tons of friends who would drop and run in a heartbeat for me.  And I have a family that I love....the girls, my brothers, my cousins.  

May you never get to the point of giving up.  Life is a precious gift not to be thrown away like an old sack.  I love you all and your mama'n'them ^j^