use it or lose it

That applies to a lot of different scenarios in my life, first and foremost the back injury.  Trying to work through the pain here and get to where I can stroll the lane with my dogs and my kids.  They came today and graced me with a long visit because "quarantine."  Reaves jumped in muddy puddles and didn't get a nap but it was all good.  She painted with yogurt and colors and all the things at her little spot in my office floor.  She's kind of used to me having to stretch back in the chair on a regular basis..

PT and nursing came to see me today and I got some ultrasound on the butt.  I'm a gonna' shop for a TENS unit here shortly.  Priorities, y'all.  I am acutely aware of them at this point.  What makes me feel better is on the top of the list.  Yes, it is all about me.  

Happy Thursday...I think ^j^

crazy

That's where I'm headed and some days I think I'm already there.  Like everybody else, really.  Only with a mighty sore butt.  The improvements have been incremental but I'm hoping that more physical therapy will move the process along.  I did the exercises before I got up this morning and managed to make it through Kroger and into the house with my stuff.  Plus I stopped by to check out a car that my brother had recommended.  By then I was hurting too bad to take it for a spin but I will when I get better.  

It seems I'm losing my creativity these days and words are harder to come by.  I blame it on the entire shutdown drama which adds layers of stress and worry to everybody's life.  All that's on the radar is taking baby steps.  I found a tick on my neck yesterday and I acted on impulse and yanked it out.  Evidently he was dug in because it's itchy today.  I do not need a tick borne disease at this point, seriously.  

Y'all be happy and healthy and keep the faith ^j^

negatory

Wow!  An overnight response from COVID testing tells me that I'm negative.  I was given a TAT of 2-5 days so that's pretty phenomenal.  I received a call from one of my nurse friends back in the day who now works at the health department.  

Any of you who live near Samaria Bend Road are aware that the crossover on Highway 51 is extremely dangerous any time of any day.  After my PT visit I went to the store and there is an apparently abandoned 18 wheeler parked on the side of 51S blocking the view of traffic at the crossover.  I did my civic duty and reported it to the Dyersburg PD before somebody gets killed.  My mother totaled two cars and Daddy one truck at that very spot.  

The farmers are hard at it today trying to get planted and beat tonight's rain.  Pretty soon we'll be seeing baby corn sprouting.  And then....come the creepy children.

Our state is gradually re-opening but I'm still being very cautious and will remain so.  So should we all.  I mean just use common sense.  As for me, I wouldn't want to eat at a place where everybody is wearing a mask to serve your table.  I have never had a dining experience worth all that drama.

Four months later my Markplace Appeal is in the "final stages" of review whatever that means.  You will be notified, he said.  To be fair I guess the feds are a bit overwhelmed right now.  If I lose this appeal, it won't be because I didn't do my homework.  Complete with documentation of names and call dates.  I consulted with West Tn Legal Services over the thing and still haven't gotten hooked up with a lawyer but it's pro-bono and they are spread thin.

I suppose we shall see what tomorrow brings....and the day after and day after ^j^

the test

During my career as a medical technologist I have both collected and tested thousands of NP swabs so I knew what I was signing up for when I pulled into the health department parking lot. These folks are out there every day doing drive up testing.  It is not a pleasant procedure by any means but one I was willing to do voluntarily since I am immunocompromised.  I was told I would be contacted in 2-5days with the results and to self-quarantine in the meantime.  No prob.

The farmers are hard at it getting ready to plant the corn box around me.  You know, the one where the children hide and if you build it they will come.  It is such a part of the cycle of life on the farm that I know what's what with any given pass of a piece of farm equipment.  The grass has been killed and now the plowing commences.  

So it looks like our state is easing toward the grand opening yet I read that we had the biggest single jump in cases over the weekend.  I don't know about y'all but the mask will still be with me as we move forward with the "essentials."  It is predicted that meat will become scarce so look for that to be the next hoarder's delight.  Maybe we can find toilet paper when that happens.  

My pain is a 5 today and it didn't take nearly as long to get mobile today though I'm still using a cane and walker.  I totally forgot PT was coming today and she called me while I was still in the health department parking lot.  Ooops!

I can hear the tractor getting closer and closer to my house and it's a comforting sound for an old country gal.  Maybe someday we can get Reaves a ride in one of them.  She would squeal!

I was sitting on the porch waiting for DoorDash to bring mexicans yesterday when Lauren surprised me with a visit.  I love it when that happens.  Reaves is back in daycare today so that she can ease back into the routine when her momma returns to work.  It will be a gradual process with people counters at the door and everybody wearing masks.  They can only operate at 50% capacity during phase 1.  

Church is planning on another drive in service next Sunday, weather permitting.  The staff has been so innovative with outreach during the past weeks to keep us all connected as a church family.  What a blessing from Big Ernie.

Y'all be faithful and safe ^j^

 

on the road again

I was just beginning to start short walks when this butt incident put the brakes on that.  Tomorrow it will be two weeks and I've got a long way to go but I refuse to give up.  I do have a stubborn streak in me like my daddy's.  He is sending me birds daily as a reminder.  I have never seen a squirrel before up close and personal but I was able to observe one furry little dude hanging outside the bathroom window.  I watched in wonder as he shook that tail and searched for something.  

Today's sermon was a true blessing.  As Easter Sunday plus two weeks came,  the scripture was my favorite.  Travelers on the road to Emmaus were joined by Jesus only they didn't know it was him.  They gave him a factual account of the miracle that had happened and invited  him for supper where he revealed himself to them.  Mary Beth urged us all to spend this downtime seeking quiet time with God instead of fretting.  Yes, everybody is half crazy with worry and cabin fever.  Incomes are reduced or gone.  We haven't flattened the curve.  I am a solitary soul by nature so it's not that big of a deal personally.  I rarely eat out choosing my food to go or eat in the car which is what EVERYbody is doing now.  

When I was in the hospital in January I distinctly remember watching Wuhan turn into a nightmare that spread to us.  I also watched most of the end of the impeachment, until I got bored with the grandstanding.  The road from there to here has been as long as my chinny whiskers.  I feel my age in not being able to bounce back as quickly.  I have to keep reminding myself that I am only three months post-op from a YUGE surgical intervention that saved my life.  Therefore, I am still here for a reason.  

I gave myself to God the night I almost wrecked on the way to the ER that first time.  Death was staring me in the face in the form of a giant embankment and deep ditch.  That's when Jesus took the wheel and pulled me away from that scenario.  It wasn't my time or way to go.  Not on that beloved road that I have driven and walked a million times.  And not even from emergency surgery two weeks later.  I am present and in the moment which is pretty scary.  Nobody knows what will happen next as much as we bitch, moan and worry.  That's when it's time to turn it over.  If you are present and in good health, take this as a wakeup call to slow down in your travels from here to there, quickly and not noticing details.  Live in the moment ^j^

sarcasm

Now, I can be pretty sarcastic in my own non-passive aggressive way.  That is normally when I experience a "here's your sign" moment" that brings a loud DUH.  There is no place for sarcasm in the leadership of this country.  To turn around and say "i was just kidding" IS indeed very passive aggressive and a lie.  If you don't mean it, don't say it POTUS.  Even his aides were flabbergasted over that debacle.  The best thing he could do at this point is to shut the hell up and let medical experts advise us but we all know that won't happen.  

Go buy some stamps y'all.  His plan is to kill the USPS and their reasonable rates by privatizing.  This is not good.  Neither is squashing the right to vote by mail.  Most everything that he does is aimed at his political aspirations and a deep rooted sense of greed and desire for power.  He is an agitator during a time when we need solidarity and unity.  

I just had my 2nd Home Health intake for the year due to the fall.  I'm two weeks out and can finally tell a tiny bit of improvement but I'm a long way from pain free walking.  Lauren brought in the mail yesterday which contained my stimulus payment and the whole wad she brought in was covered in ants.  Evidently they have taken up residence in the mailbox.  

I finished Ozark last night and that's a bummer but now I can broaden my horizons with a list of movies that Yaya has suggested.  This is how we roll in times of social distancing.  BTW Reaves managed to order a free app yesterday while she was on my laptop.  Ooops!

Y'all be blessed and keep on keeping on ^j^

my day....in a nutshell

I can't sleep very well anymore because of the back pain.  This morning I was desperate enough to find a PT video on YouTube and commence to laying on the hard ass floor to rehabilitate.  Lifting my pelvis, so to speak.  I almost didn't get up but persevered.  My girls came and it killed my soul not to be able to be in the yard with them.  More muddy puddles and flower picking dontcha' know.  I have to sit on a pillow so it's kinda' hard to keep up.  They live in Jackson and I live here.  Looks like the state will be shut for a bit so we shall see.  In a huge way, it's a blessing to have this free time.  I watch their mayor daily and I really think he's doing a good job.  I mean WTF?  He preaches safety during the re-opening of our state which is all on Governor Bill Lee.  Digest that.

In the meantime it's Doordash for me ^j^

your tree

I was taken aback today by a story from a fellow church member about how her perception of her grandmother's painting has changed over the years since her death.  As a child she found herself scared and terrified over the dead looking tree but later found it beautiful.  My tree is a pecan that was planted last year that I can see from my bathroom window.  Last year it branched out and there was a red winged blackbird  who swung on the top branch.  I assumed it was my daddy telling me to hang on.  

As the year progressed the bird left and the tree appeared to be dead.  I noticed that it is leafing back out this spring and there's another bird keeping watch over me.  Still my daddy, no doubt.  I've had hummers already and clematis and the iris are in full bud.  Life is good in spite of all that jazz.  

I am just as confused as the rest of y'all therefore I will reserve judgement on anything, but then that's my way of living life.  You never know where some soul has been until you hear their story and often that is in chapters as faith grows.  Judge not, lest ye be judged.  

I'm really getting off on the TV thing lately and have to focus on one thing at a time which is good.  Baby steps, so to speak.  I did my Kroger pickup between rain showers this morning and managed not to fall again.  I have requested a PT consult for this latest incident and will hear from them soon I feel sure.  Nerio will assess me and Patrick will work my ass off which is good.  I just have to get the house clean first.  Seriously y'all.  I have a lab/pit who does not understand the toilet paper situation.  Yesterday she totally destroyed a roll of the precious stuff.  Thankfully the 'gentral had some so I'm good.  I actually witnessed a woman arguing with the manager about buying more than two cans of lysol.  Jesus help us all.  I haven't seen lysol or disinfectant wipes in a month.

My pain level is about a six today which beats the hell out of 9 for 10 days straight.  I woke up about 1:30 this morning in wracking pain and did my routine which included some NSAID and heating pad.  Sleep came after that.

Turn on your flashlight kids.  The world needs it ^j^

talking with a two year old

Lauren and I just played phone tag for about ten minutes and finally got connected for "a minute" until Reaves got the phone.  We just gave up after she hung up on me 4 times!  I love those sweet little voices.  

I have attended two Zoom meetings set up by someone else.  I'm trying to create another group and not having much luck but my friend just explained a shortcut to me.  Thanks girl!  

Trying times folks.  Everybody is scared and unsure about just every little thing and rightfully so.  The south is about to open wide up while cases are peaking which is all about the money.  My theory is that the states are running out of money for unemployment so it's do or die time.  The feds aren't helping matters at all.  OMG.  One of my friends mentioned her fears about what will happen when Trump loses, which I think will happen.  He will have three months to do damage in his own personal way before we approach some sort of stability in government.  Hell he could nuke NOK with one button!  Talk about some drama.  

I refuse to worry.  I want to be informed enough to make wise decisions for myself and my family.  It will be what it will be and I have a tough enough faith and spirit to go down fighting for what is right.  I can thank my parents and all the saints at FUMC for that.  

May the peace of Christ be with you ^j^

muddy puddles

My girls surprised me with a visit today which was just what a Gaga needed.  Reaves painted and played with the pink jeep that Uncle Rick brought her.  She even painted that!  While Lauren and I sat in the sun on the steps, she took off running through the mud puddles in my driveway.  It's a warm day so that's okay.  I felt my spirits soar as I spent time with mia familia.  

This morning I went to pick up some stuff at Kroger with a cane so that I could get out to open the trunk and close it back.  They are not allowed to touch your car, ya know.  I just put in another order for some things I forgot.  We shall see if there are substitutions.  Most of this one is organic except for the Ritz chips.  Pickup on Thursday.  Maybe I'll be walking better by then.  

My nurse friend told me it would take a solid six weeks to recover from the fall. Boo and hiss but it is what it is.  This too shall pass.

I rarely send out vague posts on FB but last night I felt that I was totally alone.  Burned the bridges, so to speak.  Tennessee and Georgia and South Carolina among others will open for business on May 1st.  Again, this is up to individuals to social distance and whatnot.  If you don't?  It's on you.  Wear a mask and make some hand sanitizer out of aloe vera juice and alcohol, equal parts.  

My next project is to get that raised bed leveled and full of organic material to plant.  Plus purchase a good hose and aluminum sprinkler wand.  That puppy will be close to the water source which is a well.  

My heart is full ^j^

rim shot

I was one of the managers of Terry Glovers superstar junior high basketball team.  I wasn't much on playing per se, just hanging with the cool kids.  March madness used to be my favorite time of the year.  I even won a board one time when Gonzaga shocked the socks off of everybody by coming out of nowhere.  I have a lot of respect for roundball players in particular because of the complexity involved with making a shot.  That is a skill I have honed during four months of being a semi-invalid.  I can hit a garbage can almost 100% of the time if I'm close enough.  I suppose that is one of many lessons I've learned.

I think it bears noting that Kentucky has seen a sharp rise in cases due to all that mingling and protesting.  This is what will happen to all of us if we open up too soon.  The proposed guidlines for reopen are to have no new cases for 14 days.  We are a looooong way from that.  I am just as bored and stressed and inconvenienced as the rest of you.  But I am also a scientist and I respect what it can teach us.  We lost a whole month in stemming the tide on this thing.  Doesn't matter whose fault it was, it just happened.  Hospitals are still begging for PPE while being blocked by agitators from doing their jobs.  

Against my better judgement I waited for an hour to see Trump deliver his press briefing.  NPR was set to broadcast at the appointed time and he strolled in 60 minutes late.  It didn't take long for me to get enough of the jibberish and move on.  I don't normally watch but I was curious.  Curious to see if he had gotten a grip on what is really happening.  He does not.  

I have been shown a lot of kindness through others lately which lets me know that a loving god is at work in the midst of the chaos.  People have slowed down enough to notice who needs help.  If I get out, which has only been twice since the fall, I take a cane with me.  Twice in a week employees at Dodge's have noticed that I needed help and two checkers rounded up two guys to help me out.  James and David,  corporate will most def get a commendation from me that mentions you both.  Add to that an offer of fresh crappie filets from a friend and you have a good start on a good day.  

My whiskers are so long I may have to shave!  Nah, I think I'll just wait and join the stampede when Headlines opens up.  I could care less about hair as long as it's clean.  The moustache and beard really bother me.  I don't notice it until I'm in the car with the mirror and OMG.  I am still on a learning curve with the bag and changing and emptying it more efficiently.  A lot of this has been figuring a strategy.  One thing I have learned is to have perfectly dry skin when applying the wafer or it will leak.  Like this morning. 

I spotted my first clematis and iris blooms in the yard today. I am such a sucker for beautiful things in nature.  Often I sit and watch hawks circling the fields for prey.  Other times I can sit on the porch and listen to the birds.  I especially love the calming sound of a dove's call.  

We will get through this but it won't be easy.  Everybody has to play nice and be smart about it.  Someday, it will be a memory of epic proportions like "where were you on 9/11.  But there will always be tragedy and pain.  And the only way to survive, is to trudge on through the desert with a half assed smile and a good sense of humor.  Don't be mean.  That's an official order from Kristen Hampton of "be a flashlight" fame.

Namaste ~

 

from whom all blessings flow

We are all in this together.  Many lives have been lost, not to mention incomes.  It is a stressful time to say the least.  Will's sermon this morning focused on Thomas the doubter who would not believe until he actually saw the wounds on Jesus.  Which he eventually did.  Faith in the darkness is about lighting a candle of hope and passing that flame to others.  

I can finally tell a tiny bit of difference with the pelvic pain.  I'm not jumping around but can maneuver the rolling walker better after BG cleared a path.  This sweet girl even emptied the bedside commode for me!  Cleaning and organizing are her strengths which she definitely didn't get from me.  While she worked yesterday I organized (somewhat) the mounds of paper that have stacked up willy nilly over the past few months.  That gave me some sense of accomplishment.  Current bills are in a stack.  EOBs in a box.  Other things filed in a binder.  I can't find the title to my car so I guess I'll either come across it or pay for a replacement.  

I incorrectly assumed that since my SS is direct deposited that my stimulus payment would be done that way.  Not so.  Mine will be a paper check in a week or so.  Today's goal is to put together a grocery list for pickup at Kroger.  I watched John Prine's final Austin City Limits last night and watched the movie 93 Days about Ebola.  True story and very chilling.  It spotlighted how politics are involved in every decision made regarding public health.  My next watch will be Outbreak.  

Y'all be happy and blessed.  And always.....remember who you are ^j^

rally round

I'm not kidding y'all.  These armed protests over stay at home orders scare the shit out of me.  I saw a video where a hospital employee trying to get to work in the midst of a pandemic got blocked from entering by the massive traffic jam which was aimed at the hospital.  That's some scary shit.  He did a rant from his car and was about to blow a gasket.  

Here's my take on this.  If you think your rights are being violated for the sake of a public health emergency, go right ahead and do whatever you like.  If you get the virus, too bad.  But to endanger the lives of people by creating chaos is stupid and selfish.  Don't wanna wear a mask?  Fine, that's your choice.  But to carry long guns and give out candy to kids on the capitol steps is a bit much.  

I understand the stresses involved with not being able to do what you want to do.  I've been living it for four months since the surgery.  You adapt and change your lifestyle day by day.  This is a very hard time for America and the world and inciting violence is not the answer.  There are children being raised by these morons who will grow up to be just like them.  If they don't all die from COVID, that is. Or shoot each other accidentally.

My saviour of the day is none other than BG who is currently picking up Arnica from Sunflower and some mexicans to eat.  After that we will commence to declutter and clean a bit.  And bond.

It is day 6 after the fall and I'm still moving slow, sometimes with a walker.  Each day gets a bit better because I'm pushing myself to keep moving.  When I first wake up is the worst.  I've done the MFR moves once and will continue with that.  Getting my big girl panties on.

Please be kind and find some sort of empathy for others.  That is what will truly make us great ^j^

a proper thank you

I am just now getting my wits together enough to thank the people who saved my life in January through email and also carted my poor pain ridden body for treatment in the ER this week.  When I am out and about I say "thank you" in person to almost everyone who serves me in any way, even friends.  Some say that's not necessary but to me it is.  It's the Janice in me y'all.

I'm still hobbling and waiting for that stimulus money.  I got locked out of my online banking this morning but I do know that my balance was 19 bucks and some change. My precious daughter is gonna' help momma out with money AND a visit to help me clean up the crib.  I'm proud to be her mom.

I was astonished to receive a reply from the ER medical director whose name I couldn't even remember since that fateful day.  As it turns out, he was the one who got me transferred to Baptist.  That made me cry again.

Gay sent me some videos of MFR moves to get this lumbarsacral whatever it is under control.  She's one of my angels as well.  There are soooooo many!  I am blessed.

If you are not drunk on the koolaid, please watch how our country has damn near collapsed in the past four months and the leadership involved.  If Dr Fauci goes away, I'm just going to give up and lay down to die.  

Peace and Grace ^j^

day 3 post butt fall

I cannot imagine how bad it would be if I had not started on steroids yesterday.  I can still barely walk and it hurts like hell.  I made it to the store and hobbled up the counter to pay and started crying again.  This very nice employee took my bags to the car and made sure I got in safely.  He was today's  angel.  I told him I'd tip him next time around.  When I told him what had happened he said "Honey if you're hurting that bad it's gonna' be a minute before it's over"  I consider myself blessed that nothing was broken or cracked.  I'm trying to keep moving to keep the stiffness at bay.  Honestly, I've never had anything hurt this bad.  Not even the big ass double surgery.  

I read today that there is a website where you can enter direct deposit info for the stimulus since mine was not submitted on my return..  It just went up yesterday and there are a lot of kinks.  After three tries you're locked out for 24 hours which is what happened to me.  Just my luck.  I also switched from a Plan N to Plan G Medicare supplement to begin September 1.  I had already paid the first payment on the Plan N and then switched.  Plan G premium drafted yesterday.  When I inquired about a refund on the Plan N I was told I would get a paper check refund in a week or two.  Since it came out by debit card why couldn't they just put it back that way?  Beats the hell out of me.  

Mamye, as usual, is checking on me daily and is gone to get us a Popeye's chicken sammich.  I've never had one so I'm curious to see what the hoorah is about.  She is a true friend, no doubt. Not only has she taken care of me but her husband as well.  Ain't nobody with a bigger heart around.

Y'all be happy and blessed.  And never take for granted the ability to walk pain free.  

Peace ~

the rest of the story

When I got up this morning I could barely walk, again.  Thank goodness I had Ms Lois's walker. I called my doctor's office and the urgent care and got now answer.  Soooo..I called EMS to pick me up.  They couldn't even get the stretcher up on the porch because of the big ass rocks but they helped me down to where I could be loaded up.  They were here in five minutes.  My ER visit was seamless it was was a joy to be provided with quality care.  They're not too busy right now which tells me a lot of ER visits are not necessary.  But, I digress because I've always known that.

I went in with a specific complaint which was pelvic pain from a fall two days ago.  All I needed was an x-ray and steroids which is what I got.  I admire that in an ER.  Thanks to all who treated me kindly and got me in and out.  Mamye picked me up and took me on errands which was okay because it doesn't hurt when I sit.  I got up the steps with the help of Hippie's cane and she left me another one.  I could already tell a difference by the time we got home.

Official diagnosis?  Lumbrosacral strain.  Most common cause, a direct hard hit to the back side.  That is correct.  Ellie is now on puppy prozac again, as a side note.  Calm that big brown ass down, girl.

What day is it anyway?  My stimulus ain't in the bank yet ^j^

a short story

Bubba was coming out to get his plate yesterday so I had Ellie on a leash to bring her back in the house.  A door dash delivery guy was coming back up from the south lane and I stopped and chatted with him. About the time Bubba pulled up and Mr. DD pulled ahead she took off and pulled me flat down on my butt  It was a hard blow that still hurts today. You can't get into a doctor's office these days so I just had to deal with it.  It was a very long night . Lauren and Reaves came to see me today but I was still in shock from the fall so not much fun.  

After they left I commenced to having a pity party and have cried off and on for two hours.  I have been so strong for so long it was time for a breakdown.  It's times like these that living alone gets mighty lonely.  You know that feeling of "I want my Mama." I will continue to pray and praise God for all things.  After all, this too shall pass ^j^

wicked

That's what the radar looks like right now in Arkansas and West Tennessee.  I called Lauren and told her that though the food was cooked, I didn't want her on 412 in that kind of weather.  We re-scheduled for tomorrow.  This is the first Easter that Reaves has really gotten into the whole egg hunting surprise thing and it's adorable to watch.  

So I heard that the first stimulus payments went out yesterday but of course the banks are closed so who knows until "next business day."  Mine will go toward a decent vehicle.  The BK is over but I don't have the official papers yet.  That was a very long five years but at least my creditors got paid.  It was the right thing to do and my only option at the time.

Today we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord.  It's a different time while we worship virtually and apart.  I remember one Easter Sunday when my mother was on her way to church and I was working.  She was almost blind by that time and pulled off of Samaria Bend Road and was in a wreck.  Of course I was there by her bedside in the ER when her preacher came by and recapped his sermon for her....Surprise! It was of those moments when you realize how fragile life is and how it goes on in spite of the drama.  We are constantly surprised by something, but imagine seeing that empty tomb on resurrection morning.  Surprise indeed!

My favorite story in the Bible is where the t were two believers on the road to Emmaus and Jesus appeared to them.  That is how it happens many times.  When your heart is ready to be filled with the spirit, He appears.  The tradition of the flowering cross continued in spite of constraints and it's beautiful.  

Today I thank God for my family, my home and my faith community.  Kay sent me a text "may the peace of Christ be with you.  And also with you dear friend.  We were toddlers together in the nursery at FUMC and have remained faithful since then both to the church and our friendship.  

No politics today because I'm sick of it all.  This us vs them attitude is wearing me out.  We deserve compromise from both parties to keep our nation running during these scary times.  

May the peace of Christ be with you today and always ^j^

in between

That is sort of like life is right now.  We are waiting for the whole thing to be over, one way or another.  I am totally enjoying the musical talent that has shown up with all the bored people stuck at home.  They can dance too! As if a miracle I received supplies from a more consumer friendly company today so I could change my bag.  It kinda burns if I don't.  

I have most of the Easter feast ready to go in the oven.  Deviled eggs...check and chilling.  Green bean casserole ready.  Mac'n cheese is easy.  Turkey tenderloins is cooked and basking in chicken broth.  Mama didn't raise no fool.  

It's not about nothing but the risen Lord.  Roll that stone over and see the empty tomb. Then comes the road to Emmaus/  

^j^  

the dark day

I am reading John chapter 19 just to remind myself of what really happened on that day.  Pilate found no case against him.  The others wanted him to die on the cross after whipping, beating and humiliating him.  I always knew these things in my head but it wasn't until I saw a live Living Last Supper that it went from head to heart.  I was probably 40ish and had proclaimed myself a Christian all my life.  In the FUMC of Dyersburg I watched as "the twins" got whipped down the center aisle by the evil guards.  I remember Patti Lou being among the villagers carrying a basket of live puppies.  There was a cast of hundreds and it was expertly directed by then music director Mark Locke.  I was a member of a choir during one of those and sang my little alto heart to Via Dolorosa among others.  

Ellie went to see Dr. Pierce this morning and was pronounced healthy and rowdy.  He suggested that we try a sedative for the next visit!  That little pheromone bandana just didn't get it.  She took the fecal exam and the shots with no prob but drawing her blood was a whole 'nother deal.  She has what Pierce called a foot fettish.  Those nails have GOT to be clipped so sedative it will be.  

My friend delivered a mask to me that she made on her auntie's sewing machine and it's cute as heck.  Mamye delivered product as well.  It's a beautiful day in the hood but a bit chilly.  Well, compared to 84 two days ago.  

I have taken a liking to briefings from politicians who have a sense of humor like Cuomo and Mayor Scott Conger of Jackson.  Lauren watches his live posts daily and told me to tune in.  Sounds like the military has a big mess on their hands with all those COVID positive sailors that they were warned about and two people lost their jobs over.  I seriously don't get the blind loyalty to Trump, but that's just me.

Bernie has pulled out of the race which I thought was very gracious and an effort for us to  pull together until we can get rid of the mess.  Biden has claimed several modified pieces of the progressive platform.  Win win.

Sunday's coming ^j^

last supper

Well, mine could have been last night because we had some mighty severe weather and dodged a bullet.  Today is Maundy Thursday which we all know is the day that Jesus gave his disciples the new commandment.  Love one another and do this in remembrance of me.  He washed their feet, even the one who betrayed him.  He's just that kind of guy, ya' know?  

I remember when all the folks were wearing WWJD bracelets.  It was a fad that passed but I still ask myself that question daily in every situation I encounter.  Mostly it's just about kindness and doing the next right thing.

I went to Kroger (again) to get a turkey tenderloin for Easter dinner and ran into a friend whom I recognized even behind the mask.  She promised to make me one and drop it off.  I've taken way too many chances by getting out as much as I have.  Talking with my surgeon's office we changed my May visit to teleconference so that I don't have to go where there are even MORE cases and a 3 hour round trip drive.  

Another friend is delivering antiseptic wipes to my mailbox.  God is good.  All the time.  Per my usual routine I spend two hours on the phone with the insurance company and various providers of ostomy supplies.  Progress was made there as well.  Thank you all for helping a girl out.

Remember what happened following Maundy Thursday.  And remember it was all for you and me ^j^

wednesday update

I went to three different stores looking for alcohol and sanitizing wipes.  People just piss.me.off.  I've been out of the wipes for several days and depend on them to care for my colostomy bag.  Meanwhile, some idiot has a whole closet full somewhere and will never use them all.  My friend Lorna told me how to make hand sanitizer with aloe vera juice and alcohol so whenver the alcohol shows back up I'm ready.  I do have a bottle left over from the Funk Monster party back in November.  

My heart is broken over the death of the legendary musical hero John Prine.  Always remember, your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore.  This man was the epitomy of true grit and the working class.  He stood up against injustice not only with music but with his life.  That's a pretty cool legacy.  

I will ride in style with KayKay to this Sunday's Easter service,  I didn't go last week because my radio doesn't work.  Imagine that.  Not even the virus will stop the faithful from worship.  Wonder how many of those Easter/Christmas folks will show up since nobody can see their dresses.  I know that's snarky but it is what it is.  

Nobody knew at the beginning of Lent just how much we would be giving up.  I got ashed and attended one more service before the whole thing got shut down. I totally understand safety first.  Seriously.  But some folks are just stupid.  My brother told of seeing a man haul his groceries out to the car wearing gloves which he had touched everything he bought with, didn't take them off and proceeded to drive off still wearing the gloves.  Dude, please.  Wear your mask and all but change the dang gloves.  It ain't rocket science...just plain common sense.

I read this morning that another victim of COVID 19 is the little girl for whom Charlotte's Web was named.  She went from mulitple seizures a day to one or two a month once she got the proper medicine which was low dose THC.  Tell me that's not a miracle!

If I were one to sun bathe, which I'm not, today would be the day.  It's supposed to break 80 degrees and in a couple of days we'll have a low of 39.  Honey please.  Tennessee is a wonderland of changing weather.  

Y'all be safe and happy and kind.  Love ya'....mean it.

musical press secretaries

So, the Trump administration keeps shuffling the deck to see who's up next.  Stephanie Grisham was removed as White House press secretary without ever holding a briefing.  It boggles my mind to watch the cast of characters change daily.  Talk about instability.  

I am really inspired by the possibilities of an antibody test for COVID and a rapid diagnostic test.  Fifteen minutes just like flu and RSV.  It will take a while to get all that rolled out but still, it's something.  I have also heard of giving infusions of antibody positive plasma to patients who are currently ill.  We have amazing technology available and I see that as a glimmer of hope.

I have discovered the amazing daddy/daughter duet of Mat and Savana.  The most magical thing about it is that you can see the love and pride of this father for his daughter as they croon together.  My daddy and I used to sing in the FUMC choir together, he as a tenor and myself as an alto.  Those are some of my fondest memories.  

Mrs. Council's narcissus row hasn't bloomed in a couple of years but this is their year to shine because they didn't get cut down too early.  That is the sweetest smell ever.  

Curbside is now a way of life and I tip accordingly.  It's about time to put together a Kroger order for pickup on payday so that is today's goal.   Y'all keep smiling and keep shining ^j^

by the numbers

I have noticed a slight downward trend in the number of views for this blog which is surprising because everybody is stuck at home. All I can figure is that they were reading at work! It can't be political because I have friends all across the political spectrum and they know me like a book.  Yesterday someone came up on MY page and accused me of trashing her.  I kindly reminded her that she was the troll, not me.  So I'm blocked which means we weren't really friends anyway.  Hey, I met her once.  

I had to get some more of that famous Propel and while I was out took the trusty Camry to Bart and Robert about the oil leak from the gasket.  See I know these things because guys tell me.  Anywho....he has a car for sale that is like mine only with new tires, battery, everything. I'm a gonna' pray about that vs. the 200 bucks for a gasket change.  

Day 2 of Holy Week is beautiful and sunny.  I do believe I'll get out there amongst it.  Y'all be blessed ^j^

triumphal entry

Yes indeed, it is Palm Sunday.  Two different churches had parking lot services today and since my car radio doesn't work I was out of luck .  That didn't stop me from flying that palm branch out my car window as I made my way around town.  Ellie had followed me out when I left and was nowhere to be found when I got back.  So, here me and palm branch go down Samaria Bend Road to look for her.  I met up with her at the cabin and got to see Daddy's dogwood and purple iris in bloom.  It was truly a God moment for me personally.  I'd be willing to bet about 90% of folks who saw that branch flying in the breeze didn't get it.

My inner pyro started a small fire yesteday as I am cleaning up the yard for mowing.  Man, I love me a good fire. Once upon a time I let one get out of hand ( okay more than once ) and it burned a corner of the field next to me.  Fire department came.  It was on the front page of the paper.  I will NEVER live that down.  My daddy freaked me out one spring after I had been working forever to clean up pine needles in the grove.  He just lit that sucker and watched it burn.  I guess I get it honest.  

It seems downright eerie to see the beauty surrounding us during this trying time.  The colors are to die for everywhere you look.  I call it eye candy for the soul.  

Y'all be blessed and remember what this week is about ^j^

something new

Of course, I had to make a run to the 'gentral this morning.  I watched a DIY video on how to make face masks out of bandanas and pony tail holders so I bought the last of the bandanas.  Plus ice cream and of course, Propel kiwi strawberry.  I go through the Propel at a rapid pace.  As I was pulling out I decided to hop across the by-pass and visit the new diner called Area 51 Diner.  As it turns out, I knew all the folks that work there so we had a nice chat at a social distance while Greg was cooking my food.  They had just started up when the no dine in order went out.  I see a rosy future for these folks whenever "normal" comes back around.

Anywho, no outdoor play for this old girl today because they're spraying the wheat.  You can literally see it hanging in the air like a haze.  I'm about as scared of that as I am COVID.  Let it settle then carry on.  

I have found myself calling random people that I haven't talked to in awhile while the Spirit is moving us toward Easter.  Yesterday I talked with the woman who pastored our family through my parents' deaths.  I had a chat with Kimowasi yesterday and Anna today.  Carol.  Patsye. Mary Beth.  At this point we all have to stick together and stay in touch by whatever means possible.  It disturbs me on a lot of levels that ZOOM technology is being hacked by idiots.  Tele-whatever is all we have to work with right now.  

Some time ago post surgery Gigi offered me a giant dog cage for Ellie to kennel in.  It's in the middle room where Ms Rose's baby sister almost died.  Ellie never used it and there's a soft blanket in the bottom.  How long do you think Reaves to lock herself in?  She and Gaga's ceramic Charlie Brown were having a ball up in there.  Of course that was before lockdown.

We will get through this.  Faith alone won't get it.  Faith with works will ^j^

totem of the day

As I was heading out to go to the 'gentral I noticed a flock of seven turkeys heading through the wheat field.  I stopped and tried to get a good picture. They appeared to be heading toward the thicket which is where the deer hang out also....right smack in the middle of a field.  When the water is up, which it is, they are forced out of their natural habitat around the river and move to higher ground.  I looked up the spiritual meaning and it was a very good one.  Grounded in earth and spirituality and abundance.  Hey...I'll take it!

I counted the empty spaces for sale between here and Four Points and there are no less than 15 that could be used for a grocery store with REAL food.  Now, I certainly don't have the means to do that but many of those property owners do.  What a missed opportunity!

The weather is beautiful and getting warmer which is, as Martha would say "a good thing" because I'm almost out of propane for which I still owe.  I'm paying as I can just like with everybody else.  People know I'm good for it.  The Marketplace failed to call yesterday as scheduled.  I guess they're sick of talking to me but it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.

Peace and Grace to you and yours.  This month promises to be a wicked one in terms of COVID so stay at home and wash your hands continually.  We will come out on the other side of our new normal hopefully with a new understanding of our ability to help others in times of crisis.  Many people have described the entirre ordeal to me as like watching a horror movie.  I can definitely relate.  

Namaste ~

mad as hell

I did not give up cussin' for Lent so I'm allowed to use that word.  It's a good thing because I called a lot of people mofos today including the guy who almost hit me while merging and talking on his phone.  "Get off you effin' phone" I yelled into the space of my car.  My reason for being out was to pick up some steroid cream for the poison ivy.  Nothing more.  Oh yeah, I did go to the ATM where the line was a mile long.  Some poor lady at the front of the line waved at the pregnant girl in the car behind her for help using the new ATM.  Bless 'em both.

Mostly, I am mad at Trump, like more than usual.  During a time when people are losing their insurance due to COVID he has refused to allow open enrollment for the ACA because...well you know.  It was Obama's baby and he hates all things Obama.  That little 1200 buck check won't even begin to cover medical costs for the uninsured.  I also blame him for the my huge mess with the Marketplace.  He has whittled away at it since taking office.  I am still in active appeal on my case and expect a phone call this afternoon.  Let's pray I don't lose my cool and cuss somebody out.  

The girls are happy and well as they can be while under quarantine.  You know what's really scary??  To think that the ventilator that kept me alive post-op is now an essential for Covid patients that is being rationed.  What if that had happened to me in these times?  It was all just beginning while I was in the hospital.  I was put on a vent due to a life threatening emergency that involved two surgeries in two days.  That's a lot of anesthesia.  

I try to stay positive.  Really, I do.  But this entire debacle could have been headed off at the pass if the powers that be had listened or if we had in place a good emergency response system.  If, if, if.  Yet we are stuck with the reality of what we have.  A global pandemic without enough supplies and exhausted healthcare workers.  God help us.

Sorry there's no rainbows and unicorns here today.  My last post was a bit more upbeat but I'm in a mood that I can't seem to shake and it's not about isolation.  It's about a lack of leadership during a crisis of proportions that we have never seen.  

Rant over.  May the Lord bless us and keep us ^j^

serendipity

It's one of those days y'all. I'm searching for happy thoughts like everybody else and something popped into my mind.  Once upon a time my friends and I were on the way to Arkansas crossing the Mighty Mississippi.  All of a sudden fireworks started brightening the night sky.  That's when the teachers explained to me the concept of serendipity....an unexpected joy or surprise.  I carried that with me from then 'til now.  Being grateful for the little things is a positive and peaceful way to live.  

I am so very much trying to avoid a visit to the doctor's office for poison ivy.  I had it last year this time and still had some topicals that are kind of halfass working.  We shall see.  MEANWHILE....

I'm still in daily contact with BC/BS and the Marketplace over my appeal.  This could go on for months but nobody is hounding me for money so I'm just going to let it play out and do my part with due diligence.  I am reading/watching the Trump briefings the day after and they keep getting more bizarre.  These unprovoked attacks on the press are idiotic and he shows his true colors every time he goes off on one.

Dr. Fauci gave us a glimmer of hope which we seriously need right now.  The entire world is freaked out and overwhelmed and our capacity to respond to an emergency is being severely tested.  My advice to all is to use this down time constructively to figure out what really matters.  To me that is family and friends.  Not those fair weather kind, mind you.  The true blue ones.  But then, nobody asked me for advice.  I'm that much like my mother where I struggle not to say "you should."

The spring edition of SHE magazine came out and I didn't even know it until a friend told me.  My picture is all plastered up in there sitting on the curb at the Bus Stop taken by none other than the great Rachel Townsend.  Daddy loved chicken livers and so my submission was for bacon wrapped baked ones.  My husband used to grill them and they would be gone before anybody could turn around.