blessed to be an ostomate

Many of you wonder what the hell I'm talking about when I speak in ostomy jargon.  If you haven't been there or been around it, you don't know.  So let me expound a bit on the subject.  If you don't like gross things, move along.  There are all types of ostomies like ileo and colosto and uro and whatnot.  Mine happens to be a combination called an ileocolostomy meaning that I have some small intestine and some large intestine left.  This was a result of raging diverticulitis from years of IBS that culminated in a life or death situation involving emergency surgery to save my life.  Um, yeah.  I basically almost died.  Twice.  Once was on the way to the local ER in the middle of the night when I lost control of my car on loose gravel and almost hit a ditchbank but then Jesus took the wheel and pulled me out.  About a week or so later my brother took me BACK to the local ER because the asshat ER doc failed to order a CT of the abdomen to confirm that I did, indeed, have diverticulitis.  But I digress.

I don't remember much of those first few days before I woke up on a ventilator in intensive care with a Vietnamese family wailing because their relative was passing over.  I do not remember my friends Patsye and Larry being there when I was pulled off the vent.  And I don't remember being in surgery twice.  Once was to drain the abscess in the small intestine and one was to create the ostomy.  That's a lot of anesthesia!  I do distinctly remember waking up on the vent and trying to talk to Lauren and ask "what's wrong???"  And I remember both of my pastors being there and forming a prayer circle around the bed with my friends.   I do remember both ambulance rides both to and from Baptist East.  On the way back to Dyersburg the ambulance actually got lost because they followed GPS which took us through Brownsville and God knows where to get me to the rehab facility with a wound-vac and brand new colostomy.  In the rain, no less.  All of this happened in January 2020 right when COVID hit in China and Kobe Bryant and his crew got killed in a plane crash and Trump got impeached the first time.  That's what I what I watched for two weeks in the hospital.  Fun times!

I was told at my follow up visit that I was a real trooper and a miracle patient and such and that a reversal was possible.  The catch was that a reversal would also require two surgeries, one to create just an ileostomy and another to reverse THAT.  I decided against that.  I had enough surgery already "under my belt" so to speak, and there is no guarantee that it will work.  There was a lot of other drama involving insurance but I won't go into that right now because everybody deals with it and it's a racket.  I did not turn Medicare eligible until September of the year that the surgery was performed. And we all know that Medicare doesn't begin to cover it all.

That was 3 and a half years ago and life has never been the same.  While I am grateful to be alive and am still searching for my purpose,  my lifestyle has changed dramatically.  Ileostomies are notorious for causing liquid output which causes irritation of the stoma ( the hole where poop goes into the bag ) and is painful.  I have seen a WOC nurse and will see her again soon.  I've been burned with silver nitrate.  I've tried different types of appliances but none seem to last over 2 or 3 days because of the granuloma on my stoma.  And it can be mighty painful.  

Once I had a bag fail in a restaurant which was pretty humiliating but the owners were gracious and I was mortified.  Shit happens, as they say.  I tend to stay close to home because you never know when the shit's gonna' hit the fan.  Or floor.  Or whatever.  I've never had a bag fail like that since then but it will probably happen again.  My best friend is those small binder clips from office supply.  They save the day!

More later ^j^