like the deer

I was headed up the lane this morning on a garbage run when a doe ran right out in front of me from one wheat field to the next.  They have two hang outs on either side of the road and this was a random crossing.  I'm glad I wasn't going fast or it would have been bad for me, the car AND the deer.  That's one of the hidden dangers of living in the middle of crops.  Down here it's corn on all four sides and I'm in a box again.  Them corn children are getting big too.  It's about to be Field of Dreams time.

Father's Day is coming up which is bittersweet for many of us.  My parents have been gone for six years and so has Lauren's daddy.  It all seems surreal now.  Mama didn't really want to go to the funeral but I will never forget how Lauren leaned on her for support during the service.  She needed them just like she needed me.  After that year of deaths we were all emotionally wiped out.  

When I get down, which I do sometimes, I go back to "I believe in God the Father.  Maker of heaven and earth."  God knows each of us in a unique way because we are his creations.  Sure, it takes two to tango but not to raise a family.  There are in-laws and outlaws and all sorts of father figures to whom we look for guidance.  Many of mine are men of my own age who love me like a sister or daughter and would do anything in the world for me.  I'm fortunate in that area.  But I have sisters too, even though I was the only female Stafford sibling.  These sisters have surrounded me like a tribe over a lifetime and continue to inspire me.  

I had never heard "Like the Deer" until I was a part of an impromptu acapella rendition at a friend's wedding.  Muffyn and Danny are still together in spite of losing their house and daily assorted drama which we all have.  We worked together for a lot of years at the hospital and lord were there tales.  I digress.

Families have different ways of expressing emotions and that can be tough.  My Daddy was stern and not at all sure what to do with a little girl so he passed me over to Mama.  He never told me he loved me as a child, and my mother later helped me to understand what it was like growing up as a sharecropper's son.  There was very little joy in it....just a big dose of survival.  Daddy took on ag because that's what he knew growing up and was given a scholarship to attend UTM for his degree.  We can thank Sam Reed for that. 

I wouldn't trade anything for the raising that I've had.  I was always provided for and safe and knew that I was loved even if nobody said it.  You just feel it.

Bless all of you dads and uncles and male figures, especially the ones who like to play and express love for their children.  Keep the faith ^j^