celebrate me home

This is my first Mother's Day in my own mother's home.  She and Daddy moved here in 1956 when I was a year old and they didn't leave until Daddy died and Mom moved to assisted living.  She hated leaving her home of 60 years and I fully understand.  The day she moved, I found her in the bedroom where she had been up all night crying and trying to "pack" for the new place.  That came later.  Millette arrived and whisked her away before she could see me and Bubba having an epic meltdown.  We both swore it was worse than Daddy's funeral.  She lived only five months after that move.

She was my teacher and mentor in many areas including a love of cooking, writing and photography.  She spent many years as a newspaper columnist and published a popular cookbook with proceeds going to build the Family Life Center at the new Fairgrounds.  I am a 4th generation Methodist thanks to her and her mother and grandmother. We never missed a Sunday unless somebody was deathly ill.  There was always a big meal afterward, usually involving fried chicken.  

She was very popular in high school serving as president of ADK, yet she respected my decision not to go that route.  While I was not a really BAD teenager, I refused to be pigeon holed into a certain identity that was based on exclusion of others.  Basically, I was a hippie and she accepted that too.  Not that she wasn't appalled at times, but she loved me in spite of our differences and did her best to make everything in my life special.  She urged me to enroll in MT school and was one proud Mama when graduated from UTCHS at the Coliseum in 1977.  I worked my way through the first three years but they basically bankrolled that last year.  There's no way I could have worked and gone through that last grueling year.  Many did, and I admire their fortitude.  

I still have the chain holding their wedding bands that Millette removed from her neck after she died, and placed on mine.  While Daddy was pretty much unaware of his last few days, she was alert and knew what was coming.  And scared.  Like, really scared.

I keep her close to my heart and in my soul.  She gave birth to me as a young woman and watched me grow into that role and beyond.  She became a grandmother to Lauren which was a pretty sweet deal for both of them because she could do tea parties like a pro.  Mom was a Daddy's girl who never quite got over losing hers when he was 45.  I'm the only grandchild who even remembers him.

Motherhood has changed me in many ways.  I've learned to ride or die for my kid and love unconditionally.  We have both learned to set boundaries in our relationship which is healthy and good.  I see both my strengths and weaknesses in Lauren and they are emerging in the three year old personality of Reaves.  Pass it on girls!

I have been officially adopted as mama by a younger fellow who lost his own years ago in a tragic way.   We are different races and from way different backgrounds, but this dude loves me to the moon and back.  He called today while I was in line for an oil change just to chat and catch up.  Motherhood knows no boundaries.

Happy Mother's Day to anyone who has ever played the mama role with any child.  There will be stars in your crown for sure.

Keep the faith ^j^