ladies night redux

Ya'll...I dearly cherish the memories of days when I would hook up with girlfriends on a Thursday afternoon and drink dollar beer until somebody got stupid. However....I am eternally grateful to be at home with my dogs and not headed that way. I love the quiet now with very little noise except by choice like music or a favorite talk show. It's just who I am now, and I require that re-charge time to be able to (somewhat) function without heavy meds. From where I sit at the top of this hill on a pecan lined lane, I can see the other side easing toward me and mine. I also continue to marvel at the ways in which people are put into our lives for one reason or another but not forever.

I was naive when I first became a single gal, and did a lot of stupid things looking for men in all the wrong places. Many were attached and I didn't know it. All of them had issues that were complicated as hell and not acknowledged like those proverbial elephants in the room. That, I quickly found out, is a non-match for a thinker like myself. I kept my heart close for many years, not daring to really care because of trust issues. But this one...I thought was different. And it was, for a long time. When the relationship started going south, it escalated like a damn freight train and ended up with a lot of hurt feelings, mostly on MY side because I'm such a good little martyr. There were heavy end of life family issues at play and history got delved into...a history in which I had no part but for the last year. Because of the tales I've heard about Snuffy, I thought it was much longer :)

Long story short is that I know how to pick myself back up from the pain that is handing your heart to someone and having it squarely returned. Been there, done that, got a yearbook or two. After a lifetime of settling for male attention and being used as a sista' friend, I choose to be the princess for awhile...even if I have to make my own crown!

Peace and love and rock'n'roll ^j^