Saturday, January 14, 2023

happy stomaversary

Three years ago today I woke up, on a vent , in the ICU at Baptist East without any idea what was going on.  Fortunately the tube came out after a few hours because I was totally freaked out when I woke up and "couldn't breathe."  I was fighting it bad and LP said they had to hit me with multiple drugs to calm me down.  I distinctly remember looking her in the eye and trying to say "What's wrong?"  Only it didn't come out of my mouth.  She kept eye contact and the next thing I knew the tube was out and I was on several liters of O2 in a regular room.  With an ileo-colostomy.  Lots of folks, including not one but two preachers showed up.  The last thing I remember was calling Bubba to take me to the local ER where I spent all day before transferring.  Jackson had no pulmonology coverage at the time so there I went in an ambulance on a rainy Saturday to Memphis.  The two things I remember are calling Bubba and the ambulance ride.  I'm pretty sure they doped me up with morphine in Dyersburg so a big fat thank you to Millette and Dr G for getting me on the road to where I needed to be.  

In the hospital the nursing staff did bag changes because I was clueless.  I remember one guy taking me to the bathroom to empty and saying it was past time and why had it not been tended to??  These folks are my heroes.  After a week I got tired of the oxygen and slid it off which resulted in me seeing all sorts of strange things and hallucinating.  "You have to WEAN off" said the nurse.  Hey, I was a believer.  I was on room air shortly after and even walking the halls with PT.  

I was on a liquid diet for many days and ate a million popsicles thanks to my friends Debbie and Steve.  Regina stayed with me the first few nights until I felt able to go it on my own.  We stole a few towels, forgive us Lord.  She filed something with the ACA from my room to question why my premium went from zero dollars to 1350.  That deal was not resolved until June of that year at which time I was notified that I was indeed covered for the month of January.  Bubba sent BC/BS the entire amount due and got a lot of it back.  I still owe him about 400 bucks on that.  I'll try to make it up with home cooked food and sisterly love.

It was raining again when I was transferred back to Dyersburg to a local rehab.  My hair had not been washed for three weeks so Misti and Marlena took me and the wound vac to Headlines where I was cleaned up at no charge thanks to Vicki and Chucky.  I'm name dropping here kids.  They also brought me lunch from Mary Lou's the next day.  That is love in action y'all.

That week in rehab was the longest one of my life.  I was put in a room with an actual friend who was on total life support, thus a lot of noise and nurses in and out.  I still couldn't change my bag so a couple of angels like Shana would do it for me.  I shared a bathroom with two other ladies and here I was trying to learn bag management.  One of them had a baby doll and didn't like me at all.  She kept locking the bathroom door.  UCMTSU

I threatened to leave AMA and one of my deathbed preachers came out to calm me down.  Yet another came by to anoint me with healing oils.  Yaya brought pimento cheese which sat in a bucket of ice by my bed.  I wasn't eating much, ya know.  She brought me a gown which I still have.  Meanwhile, Sara was over there not knowing what was up because I changed the channel from her favorite show to the news.  I got up and went to her bedside occasionally and could see how frustrated she was because she knew me and could not respond except by blinking.  As far as I know she's still there.

So many friends and family were afraid of losing me and hovered for months to make sure I was okay.  I had home health for eight weeks and those nurses helped me learn ostomy care and how to walk again, with a wound vac.  That dude was heavy!   A hospital bed was delivered by a DME company but I never slept in it.  Rachel bought me two sets of sheets for that stretcher.

I was told that reversal was an option and on follow up visits with the general surgeon we explored that.  It involves two surgical procedures six months apart which I am not willing to go through.  I have my reasons and do my research.  Keeping this beast called Poopie is a lot of work because she tends to blow at any moment.  I've changed twice today and thank the lort' I have a whole new array of supplies.  My friend Jay has helped me with tips on ostomy care.  

I should have been dead but I am still above ground.  As I was driving today I pondered on those people who just have massive heart attacks and wreck.  This was while I was crossing the Forked Deer river.  I could actually envision myself sailing off into the river.  Would that not be appropriate??  Don't call suicide watch on me....I just have this really ironic sense of humor.  It allows me to go with what life presents to me and live faithfully one day at a time.  

We can talk more later.  Love ya....mean it ^j^  


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