and i'm sad

I missed church on Sunday and was able to watch the service this evening.  There is a lot of drama going on there right now what with the name calling and threatening over a vote to disaffiliate or not.  I do not get it y'all.  It's not a football game where somebody wins the Superbowl.  This is about community and the Kingdom of God.  Lest ye forgot, Jesus turned over a few tables in anger once upon a time.  

More dead school kids, 3 to be exact.  5 others are injured in critical condition because some spaced out mental health case gone wrong got his hands on guns and ammo.  We are responsible for that as a nation.  The NRS rules the roost.  The other side preaches about how guns don't kill people.  Considering the number of whackjobs out there with legally purchased automatic weapons, I disagree.

It is my parents' anniversary in heaven.  They planned it to get married at the church when Daddy was on leave from the Air Force in Korea.  Mama convinced him to go to the Methodist church when I was about two years old.  He was raised up Southern Baptist, ya' know.  For all the years after that he and Mama had us there in the row with them every week.  Daddy was in the choir so he came to sit with us after the anthem. Both of the boys slept through it.  

One of my most vivid memories is of the pulpit exchange with Reg Mallet from England.  I was still young and that was an exciting thing.  Wesleyans always appreciate the British.  Mama sold her wedding china to go on a trip there with her girlfriends.  She had a ball!

For a lot of reasons I'm sad.  I think that's pretty normal if you're a realistic type person who acknowledges loss and grieves appropriately.  I've found that when I don't?  It all comes out sideways as anger or depression.  

Spring is coming kids.  Maybe one more week of cold and we can cross the finish line.  Several years ago me and Lorna did an asparagus bed in the back yard all layered up with cardboard and dirt.  That was the very same year I had a farmhand to turn over my huge asparagus bed and kill it.  I ain't lying. That really made me sad!  Me and my husband planted it 30 years ago.  

On my walks down and up Pecan Lane I have seen wild asparagus growing from the days when there was a whole field of it across from mine and Charlie's old house.  That was where I watched my dementia headed daddy trying to round the cattle up slapping on the truck door and driving like a maniac.  They got sold shortly after.  Charlie's house also has lots of peonies from back in the day when they shipped them all over the country.  There was a chute to the basement where the flowers were packed for transport.  And a pond out back with swans.  I can thank Ms. Mary Crawford for that memory.

I hope somebody gave you a Valentine's happy....a smile or hug or candy.  My buddy Joy ate all of her little box for breakfast.  And you know what?  That's what it's all about ^j^

cotton candy sunset

I went to Jackson to see my girls today.  Thanks to constructive co-parenting and BFFs we managed a lunch date at Rock'n'dough where Reaves ate nothing and climbed under the table in our booth because she wanted to sit by all of us.  I tipped the waitress good because we took up space for a LONG time and she was super sweet.    After that, things went downhill. You have a five year old kid who has two mommies and doesn't know which one is real.  They both are Elizabeth.  One gave birth to you and I was there when it happened.  Me and the CRNA had mama held down on both shoulders during the section.  They knocked her out then and handed you to me.

There were a lot of complications following your birth so I was there quite often.  Daddy stopped by every day to say hi to his punkin.  You were an inquisitive baby who loved everybody and you're next.  On the rocks outside of Talbot I watched you learn to walk and then run.  I could barely keep up!  You are my one and only grandchild and that is important to remember.  What you do with your life is up to you.  You can make a change or act out like an idiot.  You are more than that, ya' know?  You are loved and cherished by your families.  That is enough.  

You have a lot of mothers in this world.  I'm the grand one and there are the others who dedicate their lives to raising you up right.  You get to go see Mickey and Minnie on spring break and I know you will be over the moon!  I have never been there but your mama called me one time from a church trip on a giant phone.  She and Kimo got in a little trouble but not bad.  Hey....they were 13.

Someday YOU will be 13 and making decisions about your life along with your parents.  I'm not one but I'm Gaga so here you go:

always tell the truth

be kind

accept others where they are

know your boundaries

prepare for the worst with faith

love one another

be humble

enjoy nature

grow things

keep the faith ^j^

jesus saves

There's an old joke about Jesus and the devil being in a typing contest and Jesus wins because "he saves."  I thought of that just now when I lost an almost complete article on blood donation by hitting the wrong key.  I seriously hate it when that happens.  Thank goodness I still have five more days.  

It has been a long two weeks here what with the icy weather and Lauren's surgery.  She is currently recovering from a complicated ACL repair at a friend's house in Jackson and is receiving excellent care from her tribe.  Not one to suffer alone, she has ventured out to attend meetings with her peeps to stay focused.  She sees Reaves often and is very fortunate to have angels around  that love her.

I finished The Secret Life of Bees today and received another Sue Monk Kidd book in the mail along with five pair of 3.0 readers.  I can see again!  I've had the company of Joy for the past two days at Casa Poops and she loves the peace and quiet and all the critters.   Oscar adores her and it lifts both of our spirits to pass by the green wheat fields here at Samaria Bend.  

It's Friday and you know you're old when you are parked in the house with the animals and loving every minute of it.  I watched You People on Netflix and loved it.  You should go see!  It has many of my favorite entertainers like Eddie Murphy and Seth Rogan.  It gave me faith that all of us can get along.  It's a learning curve, ya' know?

Have a great weekend kiddos.  Love ya....mean it ^j^

salt and light

I am feeling a whole lot of different things right now.  Today was communion Sunday at FUMC and the sermon was a reminder that  we are a community there, as in all of us.  We worship together often and do good things for the community through ministries like the food pantry, Upward Bound sports and many other areas of outreach.  There was an exceptionally large crowd today and following Mary Beth's sermon I remembered what she said about this being the last time we would take communion together prior to the big vote on disaffiliation.  Except for Ash Wednesday, of course.  Which is the day before the vote.  The future of our church will be different.  Some will leave and others will stay according to which way it goes.  It has been a long period of soul searching for we as a congregation and I agree with the way the process has been handled.  There was no knee jerk reaction to leave the conference as with other UMC congregations.  The discernment team has met often and decided that the time to vote is now after surveying the members and praying over the whole thing for many months.  A lot of members left because they were antsy for a yay or nay vote.  Others will leave afterwards.  A church split, no matter what the denomination, is always hard.  The main thing, in my opinion, is to keep God at the center of it.  It's a hard WWJD moment for all of us.

Jesus met people where they were, warts and all.  He did not judge them and performed a lot of miracles when all hope was lost.  And that, my friends, is what it's all about.  Unconditional love ^j^

the baby, the soup and the tree

There is a huge hackberry tree out by the front porch where our cottonwood once stood. It grew up around the old tree and when the cottonwood went down, she took over.  It is covered in ivy and Reaves has an imaginary baby out there that she takes soup to.  It is usually dirt and water with a little something mixed in but the baby likes it.  It's kind of a ritual now.  Their cat is parked on my bed and prolly will not move so let's all pray Henry doesn't scratch me up.  I figure that as long as I don't move, he's cool.

Today was Kroger pickup and a few errands finding me back at home where I've been all week.  There are still patches of ice here and there but it's slowly melting.  Another one of my stories was in the Gazette today and I'm hoping to ramp that up in the near future as life allows.  I'm telling y'all, this getting old is not for sissies.  If it ain't one thing it's five all at once.  I bought some curcumin today to help with inflammation and whatnot so we shall see.  

I miss my girls which is an understatement.  Not seeing Reaves is affecting both Lauren and me but it is what it is.  Today is Lauren's second day post-op so of course she's feeling "not too great."  I plan on visiting her tomorrow if fate allows.  The biggest thing I've learned in life is to go with the flow and take care of myself so that I can be there for others.  

Have a great weekend y'all.  Love you like chicken ^j^

you lift me up

You know how it is when you know you have to get there but it looks like against all odds?  Today was one of those for me.  I hate to drive period and especially in the dark.  Heading out at around seven I arrived at the hospital just in time to miss my babygirl in pre-op.  Those folks at North are punctual!  It was an ACL reconstruction and took about three hours from start to finish.  Her friend Michelle and I staked out the room where she arrived safe and sound.  The snacks were to die for!  After eating, taking a pee and walking she was released to Michelle's care.  I had to get back to the 'burg to see my own doctor for strep.  I knew it when I saw my tongue in the mirror today.  Such is life.  I got a shot and some cheap antibiotics.  

Beginning last night I asked for prayers over all of it and they were answered.  I have asked God mightily to help me let go of things and allow Him do the work.  I can't fix it at all unless it's in the big plan.  So often people refuse to let go and just let things happen.  Sometimes karma bites you in the butt.  Often it is in a kind way.  I'd say about fifty fifty.

It looks like this big freeze is over and there will be mud to follow.  More later. ^j^

risky business

I'll be headed out early tomorrow morning to Tennova Jackson for Lauren's surgery, Lord willing and the ice don't come.  I ventured out this morning to go the chicken and dolla' stores and did fine.  She said Jackson didn't get it as bad as us so I'm banking on that.  I for sure won't be leaving before daylight whenever that is.  She is scheduled for 8:15 so if all goes well I'll be there when she goes in and comes out.  Fingers crossed and big prayers for all of us.

We got some serious cabin fever going on around here which is to be expected.  I really didn't think it would be as bad as it was but our whole town was paralyzed yesterday by a few inches of frozen precipitation.  The sun came out this morning and there was some thaw on my steps, enough to where I could skate over to the car  and drive out.  When I got home I parked right next to the steps so I don't have to walk over the concrete slab coated with icy demons.  I will say a big fat thank you baby jeebus and my parents for the carport which kept my vehicle relatively ice free. 

"The animules", as Mayme calls them, are just chilling and staying warm like me.  I haven't checked the propane in a few days but it was at 70% last time I looked and I'm being frugal.  I owe this guy a bunch of money but he's always taken care of me during winters here on the farm.  He knows I'm good for it just like Mayberry does.  I may see if the neighbor will mow my yard too!  I doubt it.  

It's odd to be thinking about grass cutting right now but it will be here before you know it.  Usually the end of March is our first mow.  I foresee zero time to do a garden this year so I'll have to settle for some flowers in pots.  Hey...I know my limits.  

Y'all stay warm and keep those prayers coming ^j^