the dance

Reaves danced with her daddy last night and looked totally adorable doing it. She is five and that's a big deal for a little girl.  We didn't have such back in my day but I always danced with my daddy  Sometimes it was in the living room listening to old records on their player.  In later years, it was us dancing across Kroger while we shopped.  He could still cut a rug! My daddy was a tenor who never gave up on choir until he became homebound.  Mama, however, couldn't carry a tune in a bucket but she made a joyful noise. She converted him from Baptist to Methodist when I was about two.  And that is where I grew up.  There was not a lot of youth activities back then other than little old ladies teaching SS and leading MYF.  I talked recently to the first guy who gave a damn about the teenagers and formed a group council for us.  Larry Tubb still serves one church or another filling in at 81 years old.  

I did a very stupid thing the other day and picked up a transplant without gloves on.  My neighbor dug it up and it's still in a pot out back with plentiful poison ivy around the root ball.  Live and learn and use benadryl  plus aloe vera with lidocaine.    And hydrocortisone cream!  Dry that shit up girl.  

It's Friday so I'm up late,   See y'all tomorrow ^j^

in the dark

New beginnings usually happen when you hit rock bottom.  And of course it is the Lenten season and we are all in the desert for 40 days.  Friday during the whatever the heck it was with 60 mph straight line wind I lost power at around 1PM and it didn't come back on until 24 hours later.  I had the best.shower.ever on Sunday morning and headed on up to church at FUMC.  There's been a lot of drama there lately.  After the power came back on the internet was out for a day but those trusty Forked Deer people got it all done in a couple of days which is remarkable.  There's something about guys in bucket trucks that fascinates me.  Our little community here on Samaria Bend thought it would take DAYS.  

I have two perennials up at my old house that must be moved.  Me and Joy went up there today (with Oscar hanging out the window) to see if I could dig 'em up and transplant down here.  One is Daddy's burgandy peony bush that I moved up there after he died and am now wanting it to be back from whence it came.  The other is a tree peony with frilly pink blooms that I bought from Randy Burns when he had a nursery in South Dyersburg.  That place was the ultimate perennial garden with so many interesting plants.  He is also a well respected artist.

My focus has changed quite a bit.  Everywhere I go I see a story waiting to be told.  And you know what?  People like to read that stuff.  Human interest and history including somebody they know and respect.  I am grateful for that opportunity and it's kind of fun meeting new folks and sharing stories about current events.  I am seriously at a crossroads in my golden years but I reckon everybody is.  

I am prayerful ^j^  

gratitude

Day by day is a mantra for me.  Things get tough but I am forever humbled by the life I have been given, imperfect and all.  I'm retired and living in the homeplace thanks to my heritage.  It's kind of junky right now but I'm working on it. Along with gratitude comes humility.  Jesus met the sick where they were and healed them on the spot.  His miracles and parables are what keep me from giving up.  I can be kind of stupid on occasion.  My therapist tells me not to be so hard on myself.  Everybody messes up at one time or another.  What counts is when somebody reaches out and takes your hand.  No preaching or judgement, just worship and prayer.

Been talking to my buddy Jimmy about life and such.  He actually suggested a story about an old Dyersburg band in the 'burg.  He knows it by heart because he was a drummer first and then a lead vocalist.  There were all kinds of famous people up in there like uh...y'all can name them.  I believe that Larry Mack, Butch Pritchett and Tommy Cathey were involved.  Jimi Jamison and Gary Hager.  I guess you had to be there!  

I would be remiss to omit Tommy Criswell my dear friend.  He's dead also.  But you know what?  Those were the days when we looked forward to dancing at the American Legion or wherever.  There was a venue right down the highway from me and I went down once or twice but it burned.  Help a girl out and give me the name. We are a southern tradition of rivers and bridges and tacky trailers on the side of the road.  We went to Halls on 210 today and marveled at the old two lane that is shut off when the water's up.  We got all the business done and were in and out in 10 minutes.  After that we went to the sheriff's office to pick up a short version of what happened yesterday as reported by me to a very nice officer.  All day long I was asking for an investigator because it was kind of complicated what with the cyber criminals.  I heard there was a lot of drama out on the streets.

I saw two TBI agents in the Chick yesterday while picking up lunch.  There was this huge guy with an Air Doc shirt on.  He didn't look like much of a flight guy and as it turned out, he was HVAC. Alrighty then!   That place is busy busy.  I hear they're adding another drive through lane but uh...where?  That one is backed up in a circle around the building.  I just park in the lot and go in and see Debra and Christine and that cute little guy who serves the tables.  I've watched him from day one and he can carry two trays now.  I didn't notice until yesterday that there's a play space.  Handy!

This old girl is grateful for a lot things like Faith, Joy, Peace and Love.  Let us all reflect during the Lenten season about those 40 days in the desert and wilderness ^j^

the internet hates me

I woke up this morning all ready for my AM time on the laptop and found that suddenly all my passwords were gone and I was "paused" on Google.  I am un-paused but still can't get into Facebook on the laptop or email on my phone.  Modern dilemmas! I suspect malware and Meta getting ready to charge us for what has been free.  Just my opinion though.

At church last night there was a huge crowd of folks ready to cast ballots.  I saw folks that I haven't seen in years and some that I see every Sunday.  In the end, the vote reflected that a 2/3 majority did not pass the disaffiliation proposal.  It was kinda' sad knowing that I will never worship with some of them again. But you know what?  We're still friends on the journey of life.

I haven't given anything up for Lent except for mean people.  Ain't got time for that.  There's lots of them out there.  I have watched a bit of Alex Murdaugh's testimony and seriously?  What does he hope to gain from that.  Even if he is found not guilty of murdering his family, the other crimes are enough to put him away for life.  Fraud.  Money laundering.  Stealing the housekeeper's settlement.  And on and on.  

Fast forward to today.  Lauren came yesterday evening and we sorted through her clothes and stuff.  There appears to be things missing like a jewelry box with family heirlooms.  Me and Lorna got there at the last minute to scoop it all up but I don't remember seeing that particular item.  Perhaps some kind soul saved it for her.  We went to different churches today and hers sounded pretty cool.  She got to hold a chocolate lab puppy like Faith once was during the whole service.  As for me, our congregation seemed to be happy and hopeful that the worst is over.  It was the usual faithful crowd minus the ones who left.  I actually got goose bumps when the choir performed their anthem.  

I am focusing more now on writing and such....maybe a side gig besides that.  It's just me so I have to figure it out, Lord willing.  I do know that my mental health is first and foremost.  And that's what counts ^j^

connectional

My family, on the Reaves and Hamilton sides, have been members of the Dyersburg Methodist Church for about 150 years, give or take a decade.  The current property is in limbo over a vote that happens on Thursday evening.  The process that brought us to this point has been prayerful and a lot of work for those who were on the discernment team and we as the congregation.  Other Methodist churches are dealing with the same scenario.  

IMHO this is much ado about nothing.  The UMC book of discipline has been changed several times over this century to allow women pastors and such.  This particular item regarding homosexuality has been defeated twice at the global conference level.  About half of the UMC members are African and Filipino and they do not like gay anything.   The vote has failed twice at the global level and the anti-gay members are growing in number.  

My friends and I have talked about this at length.  How do you know for sure that someone is gay?  How do you know how many there have committed adultery?  Both are supposedly forbidden in the Holy Bible, yet we pick and choose which commandments to follow.  We choose who to judge according to our own biases and beliefs.  I don't know about y'all but I believe that Big Ernie is the judge and I'll wait my turn at the pearly gates.  

Those who honestly seek the will of God will study and be informed and create their own theology, but they don't try to cram it down somebody's throat.  I have attended several non-denominational churches and I have to admit that when they started kicking over tables with homosexuality and abortion rights, I vowed never to go back.  It was charismatic and dramatic to the hilt.  I felt literally sick at my stomach.

There will be an official vote tomorrow evening and I will be there to cast my ballot.  And I will leave and wait to be notified of the results.  I trust the people who are handling the whole thing and it is being done appropriately.  We have 600ish members by profession of faith or transfer.  It will require a 2/3 vote to leave the UMC.  I have to give credit to Will Bird for educating all of us with his SS lesson last week.  Others have done their best to share their emotions about this event.  But ya' know what?  The damage has been done and Jesus wept.

I need some sage to burn and ash myself but I'm smooth out.  Y'all be faithful and always remember who you are ^j^

 

when the heart waits

All credits belong to Sue Monk Kidd whose book by that title I am currently reading.  I ordered it because I loved The Secret Life of Bees.  When the heart waits addresses mid-life crisis or ANY crisis for that matter as an opportunity to sit back, let go and let God.  And wait.  Because waiting is the hardest part.  We don't know how to be still and listen for the still small voices of the universe because we're all so "busy."  Being retired is a blessing in that respect but I am still one to be up and moving until bedtime.  My only escape is writing and that's killing my shoulders.  Perhaps I should paint with broad strokes and get unwound. 

I am watching the last of today's sunset and it's a sight for sore eyes following two very rainy days.  It's still cold though.  I'm hoping that tonight's 26 will be the last for awhile.  When I got home I hauled the garbage can up to the house.  I mean it had only been sitting there for two days.  I am only one person!  I remember the kind physical therapist who hauled it back and forth for me after my surgery.  That was way beyond his job description, ya know?  At the hospital they always told us to ask what a patient needs and if we can't do it, get somebody else.  Tell the nurse.  This type of front line pro-active care is what should be happening everywhere.  I have been lost as a goose in more than one facility and was fortunate to find folks who would walk me to where I needed to be.  Hats off to the north hospital in Jackson.  

LP will be here tomorrow to dig through all the stuff me and Lorna hauled.  Most of it is clothes which she will need because she's going back to work next week.  It's been an amazing recovery once she got past the first week of pain.  She and Reaves are seeing each other regularly and everybody's getting along.  I love it when that happens.  

My next submission is about my dear friend Mary Gwyn Bowen who is a retired nurse and botanical art teacher.  I called her last night to nail down some details and ended up having a long talk about her history.  We met in junior high and our mothers worked together at The Dyersburg Mirror.  Mary Lee was managing editor and Mom was the society editor.  That was back in the day when people put their wedding pictures and a complete write up in the paper.  She had a Volkswagen van that was perfect for our hippie selves.  Daddy adopted a dog that got run over at their house named Hannibal.  That poor thing suffered with seizures until he died but we loved him.  There is a picture somewhere of a young Tommy sitting on the ground next to Daddy with Hannibal in the front.

I am grateful for the technology that allows us to communicate quickly but I also realize that elderly folks who don't have "help", as Ms. Annie called it, are lost in the shuffle of modern life.  My parents couldn't have figured out a healthcare portal if somebody held a gun to their heads.  I was their advocate and was blessed to be in the loop.  So many don't have a clue.

I missed church last Sunday and I'm looking forward to being there this weekend.  I have a lot of questions that need to be answered before I vote.  To be realistic, this thing could go either way.  I'm just waiting like Sue Monk Kidd and being still.  In the Bible there was a whole lot of patience by people who didn't think they had a chance until they acknowledged that Higher Power.  And God always sent signs.  Still does ^j^    

 

 

fooled around and fell in love

My first kiss came around the time of my first real date.  Jack Mallard kissed me in the bushes and Steve Sembler took me to homecoming as a teenager.  Of course his parents drove because we were only 14.  There was a mum and everything!  I didn't kiss many boys after that.

In high school I was everybody's buddy, hands down.  I had a couple of crushes there but they are both in heaven.  As a senior I was seeing a very sweet guy who sent me roses and wrote letters.  When I went in to have my belly cut open for gallbladder surgery this other guy showed up with poetry.  Things that he had written just for me.  I fell hard and fast.  Butch came to D'burg straight from Chicago and I was really intrigued.  He got the prize that I had been saving for true love.  We were so totally alike in the ways that count.  

When I went to college in Memphis for two years he was there and we carried on until it was over and I graduated.  My plans were to work at Gaston but I knew that was a foolish decision because it was based on being close to him.  Besides, I hate Micro!  Barbara Shaw hired me at the big hospital to plate in cultures and I even put down a deposit on an apartment in what is now a shady area of Memphis.  Daddy rented the truck and we piled it all in there.  You should have seen his face when I told him I wasn't leaving.  Talk about mad!

Parkview Hospital hired me in 1977 as a Medical Technologist at $4.92 an hour.  I fell in love a shit ton of times there but I digress.  There is something about working together and the way you know like they know.  I retired from there five years ago and several sales later.  My main area of responsibility was the transfusion service, as in....keep a good stock and have a way to get it to where it needs to be.  Surgeons are the worst about getting in trouble and being ugly with the blood bank.  There is a lot of paperwork involved to CYA.  Once upon a time this lady just a bit older than me went to the OR and died in recovery.  That root cause meeting was the worst experience of my life because it was us against them trying to justify her death and there was no excuse.  The hospital settled with her family and the whole thing went away.  There was one nurse who stayed with her when she crashed and she was traumatized being alone as this woman went to Jesus.   She did what she could but.....

Healthcare is broken y'all.  Most of the dedicated practitioners are either retiring or making a plan to.  I had a nice visit with a social worker today through my kidney doctor.  She promised to try to help me with the co-pay on Prolia and checked my BP.  137/73.  You go girl.

I am seriously trying to crack on judging people because I ain't God.  I may think that I know their motives but that is not for me to say.  I figure karma will sort it all out in the end.

Keeping the faith ^j^