Holiday Inn is my favorite old B&W movie and I be I've watched it a million times. There's something special about holidays, or there used to be before everything got all commercialized. Though I'm a firm believer in not waiting until a special occasion to give someone a gift, it's always nice to be remembered at those times. Right now I'm on the road to Epiphany, crossing the desert on a camel looking for that star. Tomorrow is not only a new day but a whole new year. I used to get all psyched up about a clean calendar promising lots of important things. At the age of 59 I can honestly say that's not the norm. Life is filled to the brim with survival tactics that would rival Hunger Games in intensity, for me and for many others. Shit happens, times change and before you know it normal has morphed into something new. I think that the ability to embrace change is one of the most important things that can enhance satisfaction with life. I have learned a lot of lessons this year that will be helpful next time around, such as:
It's not all Obama's fault.
Always pay attention to the weather when there is ice involved.
You can't borrow your way out of debt.
Rehab does not mean it's over.
If someone hurts you by being who they are, it's your problem not theirs.
You will miss your parents forever even before they are gone.
One bad day doesn't equal a bad life. Peaks and valleys y'all.
There are good kind people in the world who don't hoard their money or talents. Jesus wants us to be like them.
Each day is an opportunity to do the next right thing.
No matter how bad life seems, somebody else always has it worse.
When the economy is lousy, the price of gas goes down because demand tanks when nobody can afford to go anywhere except the Koch brothers.
Kim and Putin are foolish asshats who are made to look bigger than life by the media while their people suffer.
That's just a smattering of Poopie's nuggets of wisdom circa 2014. I am weary in spite of a lot of self care and I don't see an opportunity any time soon for that to change unless I win the lottery and I don't play so there you go. It tears me up seeing people spend 50 bucks on tickets while I get 10 in gas but it's their money. I reckon they'll eat the paper after it's scratched off.
Happy holidays~
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
funky cold (medina)
If you remember that and have ever done a chair dance to it, raise your hand! It's a great song to stretch the bitch out to, if you know what I mean. I slept a solid 12 hours and never woke except to turn over. As long as I live I will never take that opportunity for granted again. When you're old and tired it takes a long time to regroup. I see my body wearing out pretty quickly and that doesn't bode well for living a long and prosperous time during my golden years, wherever they may be. I've spent the morning washing clothes and cleaning the office, adding to the already existing piles that are recognizable. You gotta' start somewhere.
Earlier I was gazing at the ceilings noting that they were spray painted by my late KY cousin and haven't been touched in 26 years except for cleaning. Now mind you, I have no vacuum cleaner so that involves climbing a ladder with a Swiffer which is not such a good idea for this old gal. Maybe when I have a day off I can borrow mama's Electrolux and get rid of the dust bunnies so we can breathe better. It's a thought for something to do when I'm not hauling garbage in the not so trusty old Camry. There has been no driver's side door handle for years as its' little plastic bonded to metal piece broke off in the ice. Today wasn't icy but it was cold so I wasn't really surprised when the one on the passenger's side did the same while I was attempting to clean out the floor. This was when I ran home at break to check on BG who fell on her tailbone (aka coccyx) for the 4th time today. Little black cloud, I tell you.
There comes a point when one sees the opportunity to jump off the sinking ship even if there is no rescue boat visible and that is where I find myself now on a lot of different levels. I have lived a somewhat "safe" life in a small town doing respectable things like raising a child and raising hell when I got the chance only to find myself stuck and miserable. There is nothing wrong with that by any means, but it begs for something a bit more fun for the last chapter of my life and I will claim it because I can and it's not too late. Possibilities are what's up. Other than that? I got nothing except another downed Asian plane. I bet that fat little fuck in NOK did it. Keep the faith ^j^
Earlier I was gazing at the ceilings noting that they were spray painted by my late KY cousin and haven't been touched in 26 years except for cleaning. Now mind you, I have no vacuum cleaner so that involves climbing a ladder with a Swiffer which is not such a good idea for this old gal. Maybe when I have a day off I can borrow mama's Electrolux and get rid of the dust bunnies so we can breathe better. It's a thought for something to do when I'm not hauling garbage in the not so trusty old Camry. There has been no driver's side door handle for years as its' little plastic bonded to metal piece broke off in the ice. Today wasn't icy but it was cold so I wasn't really surprised when the one on the passenger's side did the same while I was attempting to clean out the floor. This was when I ran home at break to check on BG who fell on her tailbone (aka coccyx) for the 4th time today. Little black cloud, I tell you.
There comes a point when one sees the opportunity to jump off the sinking ship even if there is no rescue boat visible and that is where I find myself now on a lot of different levels. I have lived a somewhat "safe" life in a small town doing respectable things like raising a child and raising hell when I got the chance only to find myself stuck and miserable. There is nothing wrong with that by any means, but it begs for something a bit more fun for the last chapter of my life and I will claim it because I can and it's not too late. Possibilities are what's up. Other than that? I got nothing except another downed Asian plane. I bet that fat little fuck in NOK did it. Keep the faith ^j^
Sunday, December 28, 2014
dismissed
In the usual sense of the word, that means for something to be over. As in court, church, whatever you are attending where someone in authority says it's time to formally make it over. There is yet another meaning of that same word which describes how one's ideas can be written off as not only not possible but foolish. This usually happens with those in a power position as well, the ones who have you by the short hairs. Bosses do it...parents do it. In my case presently someone who doesn't give a shit about me or my family is calling the shots with our lives here. I have mentioned before that I am perpetually attached to this farm as in would HATE to leave but I see it coming. Don't own means can't defend and the rules and honor of my father's generation are long gone. My future is in the hands of some thirty somethings who also don't care except for the money it brings them. I think I mentioned that my father began as manager of the farm in 1956 when I was a year old and it was arranged by my maternal grandfather who managed properties. Until the age of 55 he did double duty as a USDA man during the day and small farmer all the rest of the time. It was a wonderful way to grow up riding on hay trucks and seeing cows give birth.
The owner would visit couple of times a year and bring the whole family that included several boys and a girl. They would visit on the screened in porch or under the magnolia trees sitting in yard chairs and posing for the vacation picture at the shack. It was Daddy's job to make sure the horses were healthy and get them ready to ride. I remember seeing him being treated as "their boy" more or less and being angry but I had to get over it when I realized that he himself just followed in his own father's footsteps being a sharecropper. His farm $$ did indeed buy cars and food and lots of Christmas presents. I'm sure it even helped pay for my college degree.
Here's my point...There is within each of us a dreamer, one who wants to leave a mark on the world in a positive way, thinking that it's possible and NOK won't shoot the idea down with a drone. No wait, that's Obama who has drones. Everyone has the desire to be kind and good unless they are mentally ill and even they do too at times. A totalitarian sort of capitalistic caste system is rampant in this country and it is by no means something that is just Tea Party adrenaline. I read today that the Kochs and Soros are "talking" which makes me snort because the extremists of both polarized parties are being forced to reach across the aisle, if you will. It's about us guys...remember? We the people?????
So anyway my idea was dismissed and I immediately went to plan B which included keeping my appointment with the framer because she's also a personal trainer and overall fun gal..I can tell on the phone. More friends are dropping by so I'm excited aboutjust not going ANYWHERE for a day. Well, except maybe to the Dock.
Peace and love and go Bernie ^j^
The owner would visit couple of times a year and bring the whole family that included several boys and a girl. They would visit on the screened in porch or under the magnolia trees sitting in yard chairs and posing for the vacation picture at the shack. It was Daddy's job to make sure the horses were healthy and get them ready to ride. I remember seeing him being treated as "their boy" more or less and being angry but I had to get over it when I realized that he himself just followed in his own father's footsteps being a sharecropper. His farm $$ did indeed buy cars and food and lots of Christmas presents. I'm sure it even helped pay for my college degree.
Here's my point...There is within each of us a dreamer, one who wants to leave a mark on the world in a positive way, thinking that it's possible and NOK won't shoot the idea down with a drone. No wait, that's Obama who has drones. Everyone has the desire to be kind and good unless they are mentally ill and even they do too at times. A totalitarian sort of capitalistic caste system is rampant in this country and it is by no means something that is just Tea Party adrenaline. I read today that the Kochs and Soros are "talking" which makes me snort because the extremists of both polarized parties are being forced to reach across the aisle, if you will. It's about us guys...remember? We the people?????
So anyway my idea was dismissed and I immediately went to plan B which included keeping my appointment with the framer because she's also a personal trainer and overall fun gal..I can tell on the phone. More friends are dropping by so I'm excited aboutjust not going ANYWHERE for a day. Well, except maybe to the Dock.
Peace and love and go Bernie ^j^
Saturday, December 27, 2014
almost saturday night
Ordinarily that's not a big deal to me because I don't do anything but go to bed early like always, however this is the eve of my last of seven days in a row and I feel a subtle exhausting tinge of joy thinking about a day off from the sawmill. I've been twisting and stretching all day trying to work the shoulder and get it to relax. It is literally drawn toward the right side of my body in a very painful sort of way that is constant and deep. It begs for Flexaril which I thought didn't help before but I bet would now that the repair has been done. But then there's that pesky co-pay to see a provider just to get a prescription. Plus the cost of the drug. No wonder I'm weaning myself off of everything. It's monsoon time in Tennessee and over a large part of the country, truth be known. I figure the end of the lane was covered most of the day while I was gone.
Now that my OD statements come by email there is rarely anything in the box which explains why the USPS is struggling to re-brand their services for survival. I don't care who you are, there's nothing like getting a hand written card in the mail. I have made the first of several appointments concerning the future and will meet with a professional on Monday concerning framing and distribution of my farm photography. How many folks with a badass camera like mine get to live in the middle of paradise where you can take shots off the porch. I am blessed, for sure. After that I'll catch back up with the Co.Starters instructor for some serious small business chat. Creativity tends to flow in those settings, especially when the teacher knows what you have in mind. I've change my mind again but I have the tools to switch course.
The news today was all about Little Kim and how he blames Obama for his internet outage. That's the funniest shit I've heard in ages! The Asians...inventors of modern electronic communication...accusing him of espionage. I'm sure the conservatives agree because as we all know "it's Obama's fault!" Joe Cocker died this week and so did my friend Steve's mother. The warp speed of all things happening has worn my soul down but my daddy always told me it was thus and so as you age and I guess he would know. After all he's over 80!! Sometimes I wonder if I'll be like him when I'm that age and I figure I probably will. I'm like Mom in a lot of ways, but I do have that stubborn Stafford streak in me.
There are very few things I miss about having a man around but one of them is having help for stuff like cars breaking down and whatnot. I know a lot of women who can take care of that kind of thing without them, but I'm not one of 'em. Never had to, you know? Since I've been single the absence of a dependable guy hasn't been too bad because of all my many male friends. That's where you earn stars in your crown guys..when you do it to help rather than because you have to in order to appease a wife or girlfriend. One guy friend actually performed a tune-up in the parking lot of the sawmill on that trusty old Camry and even bought the stuff. I still owe him a bottle of Scotch.
Here's to a bright and shining new year full of opportunity, grace and peace.
Now that my OD statements come by email there is rarely anything in the box which explains why the USPS is struggling to re-brand their services for survival. I don't care who you are, there's nothing like getting a hand written card in the mail. I have made the first of several appointments concerning the future and will meet with a professional on Monday concerning framing and distribution of my farm photography. How many folks with a badass camera like mine get to live in the middle of paradise where you can take shots off the porch. I am blessed, for sure. After that I'll catch back up with the Co.Starters instructor for some serious small business chat. Creativity tends to flow in those settings, especially when the teacher knows what you have in mind. I've change my mind again but I have the tools to switch course.
The news today was all about Little Kim and how he blames Obama for his internet outage. That's the funniest shit I've heard in ages! The Asians...inventors of modern electronic communication...accusing him of espionage. I'm sure the conservatives agree because as we all know "it's Obama's fault!" Joe Cocker died this week and so did my friend Steve's mother. The warp speed of all things happening has worn my soul down but my daddy always told me it was thus and so as you age and I guess he would know. After all he's over 80!! Sometimes I wonder if I'll be like him when I'm that age and I figure I probably will. I'm like Mom in a lot of ways, but I do have that stubborn Stafford streak in me.
There are very few things I miss about having a man around but one of them is having help for stuff like cars breaking down and whatnot. I know a lot of women who can take care of that kind of thing without them, but I'm not one of 'em. Never had to, you know? Since I've been single the absence of a dependable guy hasn't been too bad because of all my many male friends. That's where you earn stars in your crown guys..when you do it to help rather than because you have to in order to appease a wife or girlfriend. One guy friend actually performed a tune-up in the parking lot of the sawmill on that trusty old Camry and even bought the stuff. I still owe him a bottle of Scotch.
Here's to a bright and shining new year full of opportunity, grace and peace.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
christmas present
As Big Ernie allowed, I was able to have a nice Christmas breakfast with my family even while flu season raged. BG and Bubba did the cooking with my contribution of grits in the oven along with biscuits which were definitely not the ones she used to make with shortening. Hers were short and greasy creations that went perfectly with purple hulls and fresh corn from our garden. The was usually a fried veggie or two like squash or green tomatoes and we ate right off the plate lined with paper towels while she fussed at us to stop. Sorry mom...it's too good to pass on! Daddy's favorite summertime dessert was cornbread and pea juice. It was a time that is long gone but dear to my soul as a country girl. My brothers both became farmers of sorts, each choosing a way to work with the land that they have chosen...one in a BlueRidge valley and the other around Pecan Lane. Thanks to Zuck and FB I got to see my niece asleep on their couch and she and her brother watching the Grinch who stole the whole show. Somehow I have to believe that he's a tea party conservative. At my age, not much will change in this demolibtard mind. It is what it is.
So most everybody except the sickest of the sick stayed home long enough to open Santa prior to showing up in the ER for a flu and strep test because all the urgent cares were closed. Hospitals never shut down y'all. We are there 24/7 on rotation and working ungodly hours to take care of you and your sick family when you need it. We drive emergency trucks and do long shifts and generally get the job done even when your kids scream or you give us an attitude about seeking treatment. And when all is said and done? We go home and tell our families how we "helped people". It's a lovely concept and one that centers around the fact that medical care is something that we take for granted in this country. What if we depended on Doctors Without Borders for our shots? Wellness is what's up people, and organic farming plus a less toxic environment are the key to our survival. Every time I smell the chemicals wafting over the corn fungus I get a little bit sicker. Drift is terrible on a hill with a sprayer next door.
So my favorite personal trainer dropped by this morning to show me how to build up the bitch arm because it's about to play out. Everything was good while I was off and in a sling but two months back at it set the whole thing in motion again. Thank goodness Gay and Victor care enough to treat fo'free! My friend William called just to touch base and tell me he loves me plus he was having holiday sadness but so was I. I cried off and on all day, a little bit nostalgic for those days when we all believed in miracles.
Keep the faith ^j^
So most everybody except the sickest of the sick stayed home long enough to open Santa prior to showing up in the ER for a flu and strep test because all the urgent cares were closed. Hospitals never shut down y'all. We are there 24/7 on rotation and working ungodly hours to take care of you and your sick family when you need it. We drive emergency trucks and do long shifts and generally get the job done even when your kids scream or you give us an attitude about seeking treatment. And when all is said and done? We go home and tell our families how we "helped people". It's a lovely concept and one that centers around the fact that medical care is something that we take for granted in this country. What if we depended on Doctors Without Borders for our shots? Wellness is what's up people, and organic farming plus a less toxic environment are the key to our survival. Every time I smell the chemicals wafting over the corn fungus I get a little bit sicker. Drift is terrible on a hill with a sprayer next door.
So my favorite personal trainer dropped by this morning to show me how to build up the bitch arm because it's about to play out. Everything was good while I was off and in a sling but two months back at it set the whole thing in motion again. Thank goodness Gay and Victor care enough to treat fo'free! My friend William called just to touch base and tell me he loves me plus he was having holiday sadness but so was I. I cried off and on all day, a little bit nostalgic for those days when we all believed in miracles.
Keep the faith ^j^
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
vote for gay
No Sugardaddy didn't show up at the sawmill or on the front porch or anything. In spite of Christmas evedness, BG and I set out on today's mission of getting us both to and from work with only one car that runs. It was kinda' complicated since she had to be there three hours after me and got off later. I ended up leaving to scoop her up during my break and dropping her off returning after work AND an MFR treatment to pick up her tired and busted ass. Gay finally got her hands on "the bitch" for real and they struggled mightily for a long time. It's the first time I've felt her budge in years! Words cannot express how grateful I am to have that particularly monkey off my back for now. I'm sure she'll return with a vengeance, but I'll continue to seek treatment until she heads off to the moon never to return for painful nights and tingly armed days. Since seeking treatment my posture has improved (it was horridly slumped) and lower back pain has been absent in spite of old tennis shoes.
We had a low tire this morning as in almost flat so on the way I stopped at Patterson Brothers, home of free air, to get it back up. It was raining and I was muddy and had my ass all up in the air doing the deed when somebody tackled me from behind laughing like a fool and my glasses fell off in a puddle. I turned around to find somebody I'd never met who thought I was BG because she recognized the ride and the scrubs. That's how I met Shorty with Melissa waving from their car. They messaged her a short while later telling her I almost had a heart attack which is true, for sure. We laughed all the way to Hell's Kitchen about it.
Part of my job is drawing blood from everybody for tests and on this particular day I found myself facing the task of alienating my baby cousin by pricking his finger. He cried, but not much and before he left I got a snotty nosed kiss and hug. Nom nom! Hey..I handle people's snot all day, ya know? We are ass deep in FluA season so carry a mask with you at all times, even if you got the shot. The CDC and big pharm are notorious for missing the mark and pushing Tamiflu for their stockholders.
I had thought about just "skipping Christmas" this year but in spite of my intentions it has almost arrived and I'm okay with that. I still have a lot of days to work before I can sleep past 5AM but the schedule looks a lot better than before I made a win/win swap with a co-worker. Time to get to cooking those cheese grits. Gaga's recipe doesn't call for milk, and so it shall be.
Peace on earth and joy to you and yours!
We had a low tire this morning as in almost flat so on the way I stopped at Patterson Brothers, home of free air, to get it back up. It was raining and I was muddy and had my ass all up in the air doing the deed when somebody tackled me from behind laughing like a fool and my glasses fell off in a puddle. I turned around to find somebody I'd never met who thought I was BG because she recognized the ride and the scrubs. That's how I met Shorty with Melissa waving from their car. They messaged her a short while later telling her I almost had a heart attack which is true, for sure. We laughed all the way to Hell's Kitchen about it.
Part of my job is drawing blood from everybody for tests and on this particular day I found myself facing the task of alienating my baby cousin by pricking his finger. He cried, but not much and before he left I got a snotty nosed kiss and hug. Nom nom! Hey..I handle people's snot all day, ya know? We are ass deep in FluA season so carry a mask with you at all times, even if you got the shot. The CDC and big pharm are notorious for missing the mark and pushing Tamiflu for their stockholders.
I had thought about just "skipping Christmas" this year but in spite of my intentions it has almost arrived and I'm okay with that. I still have a lot of days to work before I can sleep past 5AM but the schedule looks a lot better than before I made a win/win swap with a co-worker. Time to get to cooking those cheese grits. Gaga's recipe doesn't call for milk, and so it shall be.
Peace on earth and joy to you and yours!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
onward
These days are kind of melting together now to the point that I have a hard time telling you what day of the week it is. Not so with the date because I see it a million times a day at the sawmill. Christmas eve eve, if you will. My only holiday task is to prepare cheese grits for brunch which I will hopefully get to eat with my family. The grands have decided to spring for the Carol Burnett collection which I think is marvelous...their gift to each other. In the past it's always been this big deal of ordering and hiding for months in advance and running to the mall at the last minute. I like it better this way and I feel sure baby jeebus does too all tucked in that manger snug as a bug. When I think about his beginnings and ministry and how abandoned he felt by his God at the end, it makes me sad that I can be so self centered at times because I have felt forsaken by so many insignificant things.
This is officially post #1306 which goes to show you that I never know when to quit in spite of severe CTS of the right hand (which begins in the shoulder and neck). An old friend and co-worker came by to visit today and we took turns chatting him up as he waited for wifey to have lunch with her friends and co-workers. It's a long story that the bad arm won't allow for now, but this guy from Camden who ended up in Eugene OR of all places is one of the dearest I've ever had both in and out of the workplace. We were in the same SS class for many years which met right next door to where my parents were. An offshoot from another class, we focused less on socializing and a whole lot on Bible study. We took turns as teachers much of the time though there were this one guy who wanted to run the entire show himself. There's one in every crowd.
My most important goal for the new year is to focus on looking ahead rather than behind. There's a lot of drama and pain back there and I'm too close to the end to dwell on it. From this point on I will shake it off and move up. I have put things on the "back burner" that are essential to my wellness and sanity and it shows. I tend to make excuses for why I can't rather than grasp the possibility that I can. My boundaries are hard earned and a lot firmer than they used to be.
Yes.I.Can ^j^
This is officially post #1306 which goes to show you that I never know when to quit in spite of severe CTS of the right hand (which begins in the shoulder and neck). An old friend and co-worker came by to visit today and we took turns chatting him up as he waited for wifey to have lunch with her friends and co-workers. It's a long story that the bad arm won't allow for now, but this guy from Camden who ended up in Eugene OR of all places is one of the dearest I've ever had both in and out of the workplace. We were in the same SS class for many years which met right next door to where my parents were. An offshoot from another class, we focused less on socializing and a whole lot on Bible study. We took turns as teachers much of the time though there were this one guy who wanted to run the entire show himself. There's one in every crowd.
My most important goal for the new year is to focus on looking ahead rather than behind. There's a lot of drama and pain back there and I'm too close to the end to dwell on it. From this point on I will shake it off and move up. I have put things on the "back burner" that are essential to my wellness and sanity and it shows. I tend to make excuses for why I can't rather than grasp the possibility that I can. My boundaries are hard earned and a lot firmer than they used to be.
Yes.I.Can ^j^
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