i am okay, kinda'

I still have my original copy of "I'm okay you're okay" from back in the 70s.  That was my first experience with therapy.  I have been a fan ever since then.  Sure, we tend to overthink.  But in my opinion that is healthy when it brings memories and people together.

My BFF picked up a couple of dogs on 412 E right past the Madison County line.  As it turned out, they were evidence in a murder investigation.  So there's these 2 dogs and Reaves riding back to Jackson and she immediately began trying to locate the owner.  I see this turning out well, if you know what I mean.  It takes a village, 'ya know.

Patty came out to pick pecans today and did pretty well.  I was gone all day and when I came home all the lights were out.  Thanks Bubba!  

Y'all keep the faith ^j^

and then there were none

I have never "not" had a dog.  In fact I have had three at a time because living in the country is a wonderful life for a pet.  I woke up to find Oscar asleep on the bathroom floor and me with a huge bag leak at 5:30.  I knew that my vet friend was coming at 7:15 so I got cleaned up and waited sadly for him to arrive.  Positioning myself on the floor he was in my lap and I cradled his head while the doc checked him out and did the deed.  Most of my pets have just died and we buried them with the exception of Butterbean who had a broken back and couldn't stand or even sit.  We propped her up with pillows and except for that she was alert and happy.  Lauren was driving and I was holding BB in my lap when Sam darted in front of the car sensing that something was wrong and we HIT him.  LP headed onto the vet and I stayed back to look for Sam.  He was fine and lived many more years until I was at home recovering from the near death surgery.  My sweet neighbor Gerald buried him in front of the old barn out back of the old house.  In the rain and cold.

I missed our porch time today but I know that he is not suffering anymore.  I have this special cake that gets made for one friend per year.  Triple fudge bundt cake coming y'alls way.  One year Ellie ate the top off of one of them and I just filled it in with icing.  You have to put that shit up HIGH for labs!

I've never hesitated to try and save animals from an untimely death.  We learned early on that if  you don't do spay there will be 15 interbed kittens in the basement.  True story.  Penny died down there at the foot of the basement steps.  I think the coyotes got Miller.  We have had sooooo many that I can't remember all their names.  But I remember how they loved me.  Rosie is staying close which is good.  I could use a good snuggle buddy for the winter.  I hear the rednecks over in Middle City shooting so I guess it's almost bed time.  Thank you all for your compassion.  And remind me to tell you the story about the dawgs that BG picked up ^j^

doggie hospice

Oscar is, shall we say...."slowing down."  He does not seem to be in distress unless he's up and about.  I am acting as his advocate and medicating appropriately but the time is coming soon when I will have to haul him in to the clinic for the shots and burial.  I wish it could happen here.  I feel sure I could find some grave diggers in the neighborhood.  

I remember making this very same decision regarding my parents about 7 years ago.  When the suffering renders life with no quality, it's time to go across the rainbow bridge.  It is a very important decision and not one that I ever took lightly.  I have two trusted relatives in charge of my end of life care.  My funeral is being paid for monthly.  In that respect, I do plan ahead.

Me and Mamye went grocery shopping today and spent some quality time together.  She is still pretty rattled after her wreck and I can relate.  I'm just far enough away from mine to be able to drive without freaking out but I am constantly on the lookout for idiots.  They drive among us.

I'm ready to get that fake tree out of the attic but I'll need help and will have to clear off the stairs first.  LP will help with that of course.  She is the stager from heaven.

Y'all have a lovely friyay as Paige would say.  And keep the faith ^j^

dear santa

I have tried very hard to be good this year, seriously.  Sometimes I was and other times I wasn't.  The thing with me is that when I know I've done something to hurt someone else I realize it and ask for forgiveness.  Otherwise, I'm miserable with guilt.

We had a great Thanksgiving meal today in shifts.  Bubba came first and then LP and Reaves.  Bubba got my gas logs lit which is a bitch when you let the propane run out like I did in April.  They work in tandem with the thermostat to keep a consistent temp in the living room.  He also diagnosed the Barbie bike and did some WD-40.  The final diagnosis is that the training wheels are too low.  She is six, ya' know.  We picked up pecans what few there are, and spent some time outdoors in the sun.  I was sittin' on the porch and she served me toast and juice from the toybox.  Meanwhile, her Mama took a brief rest before tickle-fight started and it was ON!  

So, back to Santa.  I have a long list which is not like me but I'm feeling pretty blessed this year so here you go:

Peace on Earth

Sugardaddy'

Relief from chronic pain

A peaceful ending for my dear friend Oscar

Energy to clean up this mess and start over for Christmas.

The ability to work and pay the bills

Peace on earth 2.0

A closer relationship with my God and His will for me

To become more of a doer than a dreamer

New tennis shoes

The beach.  Any beach with sand

Oh, and always Reece's dark thins from Kroger or the 'gentral.

I know all you people already have your trees up but not me yet.  The first thing to come out of the attic will be Mama's nativity scene.  It's old as the hills but still intact except for maybe a donkey's head.  

Y'all keep the faith ^j^

thankful

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  That is pretty much my motto.  I am so thankful for those who have helped me along the way and I won't name anybody but you "know who you are."  Same for the ones who have helped my family and the least of these.  When you give expecting nothing in return, miracles happen.  Just the next right thing, y'all.

We all have aches and pains and struggles.  I'm sittin' here listening to Oscar cough and wheeze knowing that his time is short.  I suppose I have been selfish in letting him live this way this long but when they are still up and exploring it's hard to do the deed.  I seriously wish I knew a vet who would just come here and be compassionate.  If this boy could talk he would tell horrible tales of abuse and neglect. Until he met us.  He has a girlfriend named Libby but she is farther away.  He would always trot down the road and visit with her through the window at Patrick'n'thems house.  Back then he was one of three and the population changed constantly.  No telling how many animals are buried up at my old house.  And I think he should be too.

I went out only briefly today and got a couple of things.  Tomorrow will be packed with activity so I'm gonna' go to bed early and sleep on the side where my hip doesn't hurt.  Hell I may just sleep in the recliner and watch a movie until I doze off.  It was Mama's and BG has Daddy's.  

So first of all, thank you to all people who don't get the holiday off with their family.  I learned a long time ago that when that happens, you get flexible and somehow manage to have a meal together, with grace.  Thank you big to those who have helped me and mine financially when times were hard.  Mama always told me just to pay everybody something a little bit of what you have and they know you are trying.  Communication is key with creditors.  

It's still cold, cloudy and windy, but no rain.  I am warm and not in a war zone.  I am not in Brazil dying to see Taylor Swift.  Israel is kind of sort playing nice if they're not spinning a story.  The carnage has really upset me because of the fact that so many innocents have died in response to a terrorist attack.  Hamas is not Palestine.  They are a radical group wanting to pick a fight and they got one.  Sounds like a breeding ground for future terrorists like in the Middle East.  I know, I think too much.

Why can't we all just believe in one God and worship with all of our hearts?  That's the part I don't understand.  There are a kazillion Protestant denominations and even they don't agree.  I say live and let live and have faith that God sort it out.  That means letting go of control ^j^

happy birthday mama

It is your 90th birthday in heaven with all the saints!  I gotta' tell you that your BG and her BG are being blessed daily, just like me.  It rained all day and i was out and about in my car doing private instacart.  Sort of what Bubba did for y'all. I gladly ran interference with the medical stuff and so did Lauren.  In the end, you were surrounded by family and saw an angel, prolly your Daddy, welcoming you to heaven.  

I have one very sick dog up in my house right now and I remember when we brought Sam to you after Timmy D convinced me to take him as a pup. There have been so many.  But all of them knew that they were safe with us.  Poor Butterbean got kicked off the steps by Faith and her back broke some years later.  That was the saddest thing.  She was alert and happy but couldn't walk.  Anywho, me and Lauren took off to do the deed and lo and behold Sammy D ran right in front of the car and landed in the field somewhere.  I stayed there to find him and he did, indeed, show back up.  Butterbean did not.

Faith died of pyometra at age 11 after being bred for the first time.  Talk about a disaster!  Lots of puppies and several deaths.  Lauren and I watched them crawl around and see who was gonna' survive.  We are  cooking up your recipes this week in anticipation of full attendance of four.  I already have the table laid out and the house "somewhat" clean.  Thank you for teaching me to speak out and use my talents.  Love you forever ^j^

talent

Today was a miracle like what Jesus would do.  In a parable sort of way.  MB is a master at weaving all that stuff together to bring a point home.  Because she taught me in SS I understood what I was speaking about as lay liturgist.  That is huge.

I'm thinking about Thanksgiving past and remember one in particular.  It was right before I moved down here to the cabin and me, Uncle Bubba, Lauren and Reaves ate on a folding table.  We did have an oven so all dishes cooked at Charlie's house were properly heated up.  I think it lasted about 30 minutes and involved multiple people!  As a matter of fact, I still have to-go containers.  

I have no answers here.  It seems as though the world is coming apart and I cannot do anything but pray.  Sometimes that's enough ^j^