common cause

I have known Tim since he and his family moved here from South Carolina with "the company."  My husband and friends worked there and he was a mighty good boss.  We had girls the same age who played together and did bunking parties.  LP and AP got in trouble one night for catching a ride there with somebody else after a football game.  They didn't get to sleep over, needless to say.  APs mom was the hero in that deal because she went to get 'em and they stayed together at her house.  Not punishment, just alternative plans.  I was a patron at his business and always felt safe there. Occasionally somebody who was going bar to bar would drag me to the Hideaway which totally scared me to death.  It's right by the river and creepy as heck.  

I really got to know this couple better through Paws2Care. After retirement they have both been steady and reliable volunteers for this organization.  Tim did transports to Illinois like several others do, once a week from Dyer County Animal Clinic.  I turned over my precious brown girl to these folks and she was re-homed to a family with three kids.  The organization has helped me financially to have two cats spayed.  And I've done my best to raise money and help the cause.  If anybody knows my friend they know that money in his memory to that organization would be the perfect way to honor him.

I literally worked on a hot dog assembly line this afternoon for FUMCs trunk or treat.  I had to leave and tend to Poopie but as I drove through downtown I was amazed at the activity there.  There were even people directing traffic!  I inched my way home just in time to witness a magnificent sunset.  I feel sure God's got our backs ^j^

the toy corner

Over on the fireplace is a pile of books and art supplies that we count on to keep Reaves occupied while she's here.  On the other side of my great grandmother's rocking chair is a bunch of dolly stuff.  Bed and highchair....the whole nine yards!  Thank you Bella and Cathy B for all those donations.  If Elizabeth is in a good mood, we play outside.  She runs so fast that it's hard for us to catch up so we just wait until she runs out of steam.  The day she told me she didn't like me and ran away it was as far as the utility pole for ten minutes.  I watched from the porch as she isolated herself from me and my authority.  And, I could relate. 

It is windy and dusty here with leaves and soybean dust blowing around.  The crop near me is almost done but then there are the ones across the road yet to be cut.  Already the landscape looks different, soft and brown and ready for winter.   It's very quiet out here then with no farm traffic.  I know every season of this place and they are all special in their own way.  Once upon a time when I still lived in town I tried to drive out here in 8 inches of snow and got stuck as a goose.   I don't remember who rescued me....probably my daddy on a tractor.  I learned my lesson on that one.  

There was one year that a headwater came our way and the Forked Deer rose a gazillion feet in 30 minutes effectively stopping all traffic except for tall vehicles.  Lauren was still at home and I remember vividly making a run to town and having to ride back to the house in the back of Clara's county truck.  I could actually feel the current pushing us around.  After that it only got worse and finally it was impassable even to a tractor.  It took about a week for the water to drop enough so that we could get in and out.  I'm pretty sure James Frank, the neighbor, took Daddy in a boat to the by-pass for a ride to his doctor's appointment. UCMTSU  My old trusty Camry stayed at Mr. Smith's shop for the duration.  

Then there was the time that Joey came to my door and told me Lauren was passed out in a ditch down the lane.  She was trying to avoid a rabbit or something and slid on in.  We got her out, and the car.  Sometime after that she hit a doe where you top the hill.  I will never forget that buck standing over her body for days.  

I've done the science in my head and have figured out that the lower you are on the property, the worse the dust is.  Kind of like being in a bowl.  When you're up higher, it floats down.   I'm not sure if that's true but it sure seems that way.  

Y'all carry on with grace and dignity.  And always remember from whence you came ^j^

not good enough

I've kinda' sorta' been dealing with that all my life and should have grown out of it by now.  It's a hard habit to break when you'e always relied on other people's approval.  It's funny because when I was a teenager I was everybody's friend and didn't toe the party line.  As a hippie, I believed in peace and love and no exclusion.  I have been in a couple of work situations where nothing I did was good enough even though I went above and beyond.  Those were nightmare waves of compliance and mental torture. I am better than that and worth more.  I think it began with my parents and all their mixed bag of history.  Socialite marries sharecropper's son.  Three kids are born on the same farm which I still call home.  Could be time to move on.  Because I don't pay attention, like Daddy and Bubba said.

I paid attention when I was actively engaged in my education at three different colleges and I earned a degree that served me well for 41 years.  Bachelor of science in Medical Technology.  You should urge your kids to follow that path and learn all about healthcare. Those memories of DSCC, Memphis State and UTCHS are vivid.  I made a lot of friends during that time but studied my ass off. My last hurrah with the pre-internet age was learning shorthand from Ann Sain.  I believe that I am meant to be a teacher.  I'll figure out what that entails as I go.  At the age of 67 I have a lot of wisdom but can still follow a lesson plan.  Maybe I'll teach pre-K!  I'll bet there are a lot of sweet hugs involved.

As I understand it, anyone with a Bachelor's degree can become a teacher within a two year time frame.  My dear friend Big John tried to hire me into the Lauderdale County system many years ago and it was quite simple.  Thirty hours of continuing ed with a BS.  Hmm.  At a time when most teachers are retiring, I'm just now seeing what I was meant to be.

We have a great cloud of dust going on out here which is Soybeans 2022.  It's always dusty but this year, especially so.  I'm waiting to wash my car until it's over.  The steps to the attic are all cleared out so that we can navigate them with Lauren's boxes.  That's a start.

What are ya'll gonna' be for Halloween?  So I can recognize you when you come looking for candy.  I'll be at the church wrapping hot dogs for a couple of hours.  I channel Reaves sometimes through other kids and it brings me joy.  When I hear of another shooting, I immediately think of she and Lauren.  And I wonder how you go on when that kind of terror strikes.  Actually. it's simply grace ^j^

lucky me

As I was pulling out from paradise this afternoon I felt a flat about 25 feet from the driveway so I stopped and checked it out.  It was the same tire that has been 7 or 8 pounds low and has been checked.  I guess today was the day for that plug to give out.  It was almost dark and all the garages were closed so a service call by them was out of the question.  I don't have a clue how to change a tire so I called Bubba for advice.  He told me to call Lowery's and I got saved by a guy named Marky Mark who totally knew his shit and advised me that all my lug nuts were stripped.  How nice.  My roadside assistance never responded so Progressive will be presented with that bill.  I feel really vulnerable at times like that but I didn't cry and grew some patience.  I did notice that of all the cars that passed me only ONE stopped to see if I needed help.  Thanks to those people in the mini-van searching for a lost dog.  

I was thinking about going to my SS pizza party but obviously that didn't happen.  As I pulled into my driveway I saw soybean dust flying in the distance and they are still at it trying to beat Saturday's rain.  Sunday is clean out the storage unit day for Lauren and it's all coming to my attic.  I'm pretty sure I have to provide beer for the moving crew as a tip.  All I can say is thank goodness SS comes early in November.  I heard we are getting a raise and that the cost of Medicare will actually go down in 2023.  If you do the math on what Medicare costs plus what a supplement is priced at, you can easily get into about 400 bucks a month for health insurance.  On a fixed income.  Nobody can ever retire and not worry about that.  

I'm about to finish up Mary Trump's book and it has been a real eye opener about how that family history unfolded.  I never knew where the money came from, or the sense of entitlement.  Now I do.

Y'all get out there and vote like your life depends on it.  Because seriously?  It does ^j^

political banter

Bubba came by to bring me some grass fed beef this afternoon and we got to talking politics when the topic of inflation came up.  His theory, and that of many others, is that we are "not better off" than two years ago.  My response to that is that the government inherited a huge mess INCLUDING a major pandemic.  I respect that Biden is not playing footsie with the Saudi nations to lower gas prices.  I guess if the GOP sweeps in November,  it will surely be down to a dolla'.  The markets are volatile and it's all based on speculation.  The housing boom is over as quickly as it came because the feds raised the interest rate.  I've never quite understood how that works.  Hey...I wanted to be a psychology major!  At DSCC those classes taught me more about life and people than any of the standards.  I also took speech which has served me well over my career.  I do not freeze in front of a crowd, so to speak.  Sometimes I cry a little, but I never lose faith.

It's hump day and I'm looking forward to another movie.  I was mesmerized by Father Stu yesterday.  There's something about watching a story unfold rather than surfing around FB sharing dinner pics.  No seriously, y'all.  I love your food and your pets and your families.  That's what makes life worth living, making memories.  I think that the purpose of all of my blog has been to spread the spirit of peace, forgiveness and love.  That's sounds mighty braggy, looking back.  Jesus doesn't like that at all.

One of the chapters of my family history involves my parents' involvement with Lifeline in Jackson.  Our former pastor Willis G did a great sermon about the need for volunteers and thus, it was born.  No more "from Memphis" on the bus.  I love it when that happens.  It made my work life so much easier, ya know?  Keep on keeping on ^j^

in the desert

I am a 4th generation Methodist growing up at FUMC.  My parents, grandmother and great grandmother raised me that way in their home church and I took it as mine.  There were a couple of decades that I didn't attend, beginning when I graduated from high school and extending to when Lauren was two.  That was when my daddy told me to "get that child in church."  Which I did.  Her Daddy did not want to go because he was raised in a faith that required you to be perfect or else not go.  I always found that strange but to each his own.  I go because I am far from perfect and seek to be better.  

Our congregation is dwindling as are many others.  A lot of it is about "the gay thing" that will not even be voted on at the global conference level for a couple of years.  Some of it is over apportionments.  It costs a lot to keep the boat floating there at FUMC and the money is pretty much gone from my parents' generation.  Often it is about style of worship.  Not flashy enough and too much liturgy.  As for me, those things give me comfort.  We have contemporary music intertwined with hymns.  Today as Mary Beth talked about how we, as a church, are in the desert.  Staff has already been reduced to cut corners.  Yet we still come up short on the budget.  As she was discussing this I looked around me at the stained glass windows and the circle of lights in the sanctuary ceiling that I used to count when I got bored.  

Our final song was Hymn of Promise which was my Daddy's favorite and that's when I lost it and began the ugly cry, with sobs.  I joined Mary Beth at the rail and held onto her for dear life.  I'm sure her pristine robe is covered with my makeup.  Actually I am already grieving the loss of she and her family someday because that's how Methodists roll.  I have brought my own girls back into the congregation and we are a family there once again.  

Nothing is forever and that church is just one of several brick and mortar buildings that has housed our community of faith over 180 years in Dyersburg.  The people are the church in this world.  The hands and feet of Christ.  If we simply do the next right thing by others, that's what Jesus intended for us as his disciples.

Beans are being hauled daily to the river which is historically low.  Barges are loaded at a lighter weight because of the difficulty in river travel.  This is pretty scary to me as I've always looked at the Mighty Mississippi as a mainstay in American life.  Over the years levees have been built and soil has eroded until the river itself has changed tremendously.  Where flooding is usually our problem, drought is now up front and center.  

All in all it's a misty kind of day for me due to a lot of life things.  But yet, I still have faith.  And I keep it close ^j^

the fifth season

Here in Tennessee we have weather that turns on a dime.  We had two nights of freeze where I had to wear a housecoat in the mornings.  Today it reached almost 80 and since the gas logs are lit, the AC is on.  Inside temp was 77.  Plus there is soybean dust so thick you can feel it in your nose and eyes.  I heard that in Finley there was a bean fire today that burned 40 acres.  The only time I remember seeing that is when the utility lines fell on the field across from Donna Webb's house.  Oh, and there was that one little incident where I burned about 50 square feet of the field next to my yard because I was doin what I was not supposed to do:  light a fire while under a burn ban.  Me and the fire departments made the front page of the paper.  I will seriously never live that down.  I also managed to catch an empty field ablaze while burning off the asparagus and my daddy thought it was hilarious.  He was a firebug too.  I remember him picking just the right day when I had been raking up 20 years worth of pine needles and lighting at just the right time.  Smoke went the other way.  Nothing spread.  He was a smart man.  

Life is busy with trying to survive and find happiness and all that.  I'm pretty content wherever I am.  I like alone time but I'm getting out more and participating in communities where people know and care about me.  I'm not going to lie..when I quit the hospital and then almost died it took me a loooong time to create a new reality.  We are constantly grieving one loss or another and that is why we need each other.  

So Trump has been called for a deposition.  It's about damn time.  It may well be a good chance for him to rally his crowd and not show.  I would not advise that for him considering how much trouble he's already in.   He could just answer the questions like a human the best way he remembers.  End of story, but not the end of his woes.  I'd say financially it's all abut to collapse what with the lawsuits, so I hope Melania and Baron are settled somewhere nice like Fiji.  He can join them later and be the president of that island.  Genius, no?  Yes!

We had another joyful lunch with friends today and I was touched with the fact that our two male companions were quite attentive to Joy by helping her navigate from car to table and back.  I'll probably visit them both tomorrow before LPT and Patsye hit the trail.   We had a long conversation about the state constitutional amendments and kind of figured out that Right to Work is number 1.  As I was googling I found abortion as a number 2 but that was in another state..  "In any and all circumstances it is against state law."  The feds have said what they said through SCOTUS so now it is up to us as individual states to decide what is fair.  There is no right or wrong in this except for a whole lot of unwanted babies on welfare and dead mothers with pregnancies gone wrong.   When a sperm and an egg meet there is a slim chance that a zygote will appear and begin to grow.  In the first 12 weeks, there is no heart beat.  Maybe even 14.  I remember going to Lauren's ultrasound at 16 weeks and there that baby was, big as life.  Y'all know the rest of the story.  It never entered her mind to terminate because she knew it was probably her only chance to bear a child.  I admire that.  There have been many ups and downs with it and they continue.  That is life.  

Ya'll go get some punkin' spice something and slip into your shorts for the evening.  Love ya....mean it ^j^