not for sissies

Ever since Hoss died I've been in this mood like "what's up with life?" Part of that might be because he claimed not to believe in God per se, but he knew that Big Ernie is (almost) always in charge, unless somebody's mama is around and mad. Then it's a draw.

Gene and I first met when we were both newbie bloggers about five years or so ago, he in Oregon and myself in Tennessee. At the time he was living in a nursing home with his terminally ill wife. That state allows assisted suicide and she chose to legally end the misery that was a part of Lou Gehrig's disease. I remember sending her an orange and white UT bracelet and some cookies for him...I'd forgotten all about that part. Not long after she died, Hoss moved out on his own and blogged his little Obama heart out for a long while. About a year later there became mention of his ex-wife and mother of his children coming back into the picture. He called her Scamp. They traveled and did fun stuff and he blogged it from the road.

When Gene came here to visit a few years ago, he was in very bad health... totally dependent on oxygen. I wasn't prepared for the brave old soul who had ridden on a plane from Vegas all day long with no air just to meet me. As soon as I took a crash course in respiratory therapy got him hooked up it was all good. Well, maybe about an hour later :) We had a great visit and as he headed on toward Texas from here I found myself sobbing at the airport, knowing that I'd never see him again.

A couple of months ago I got the news from Tisha that he was on heavy morphine and fading fast. I called him once and he dropped the phone or something. Next time I called, I had to remind him who I was and what we did. "Remember me?" I said. "I'm the one who left you out there in the mud to die!". "Oh, yeah." he said. "And that skunk sprayed Butterbean!". I could hear him grinning over the phone at the thought of it..either that or the thought of Jack Daniels. He knew I loved him, but I told him anyway. Not too much later, he did what he had to do. I more than understand.

One of the great things about growing older is that one learns to appreciate the value of random relationships that turn into lifers, however short or long that life may be. Blogging is a way to meet people you never would have had the pleasure of knowing had you not just jumped out there with it and took a chance. That's what pisses me off most about hackers. I mean gah...go pick on the skinny kid at the playground or something.

This one's for you buddy...here's to dung beetles and Obama. What do scientists call THAT?