social work

I have long been attached to that particular health care field because I'm a "people person" with a strong urge to, not fix, but act as an advocate for someone else.  Kind of sorta' a conduit.  I have always held it in my heart that if you have a giving spirit it increases your serotonin!  Not speaking about money exactly but acts of charity by helping others.  Each of us has a life history that is scarred by pain and troubles.  Holding on to those emotions results in all sorts of health problems.  People with mental illness have an even harder time just trying to be normal and function.  Often this leads to substance abuse and anger issues.  Drugs and anger are bad, umkay?  

The other day I was telling somebody the story of way back in the day when some ER doc tried me to draw blood from a dead guy who had been in a cold wet ditch all night.  As we all know, there was no blood to be gotten from his veins so he went to plan B.  "Draw it from his heart!"  I was like WTF????  You're the doctor here.  And I remember the guy's socks on those cold dead feet.  Needless to say, MD got his own sample and I went back to the call room for a nap.

Here's the thing.  Every day we have a chance to do the next right thing like saying thank you for an opened door or appreciating good service.  I was at the Chick today and was amazed at what a well oiled machine they are.  Great customer service and atmosphere.  The lady next to me in the waiting area for carryout was actually picking up her sick daughter's lunch on her OWN lunch break.  There are no limits to what moms will do for their kids.  

So back to social work.  I became interested in the philosophy of hospice care about 30 years ago and it has remained a passion for me.  My heroes during that learning curve were EK Ross, John Bradshaw and Melody Beattie.  Once I accepted my co-dependent nature it changed my life.  I knew when I was trying to "fix" things and saw them as opportunities to lose a piece of who I am.  Did I continue to do it?  Yes indeed.  It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.  

I left my career when the whole place was in total chaos and I had just gone through RTC surgery.  The guy told me that the ends of the cuff were torn and atrophied so much that they could not be reconnected.  Soooo...he scraped off the arthritis and here I am five years later. I am thankful that I didn't have the partial shoulder replacement that would have limited mobility and range of motion.  Or the cadaver patch.  Actually the doc told me he had no experience with that procedure.  

My first year or two of retirement involved having a lot of fun and learning things like yoga.  After that, I had to supplement my SS income with something else, thus my home health career.  I'm not talking through an agency.  Just by word of mouth.  I'm a pretty great companion for somebody who doesn't require a lot of intensive care.  There have been one or two who drove me into the ground.  

As we all age, we should remember how nice it is to have a caregiver who forms a relationship that will never be broken, even with death.  Some day we'll all be up there in heaven bumping spirits ^j^

red trickle

How exciting!  All the media were predicting a wave and the whole thing is a tight razor thin count that remains to be seen.  I am encouraged that Trump is paying for his actions for the past two years.  The GOP is shopping for a 2024 candidate and I imagine the Dems too.  I watched my president on TV today fielding questions from all sorts of media types and I think he did well.  According to exit polls, inflation is the number one concern for everybody.  I second that.

Bubba and I did a joint session this morning with our health insurance guy and we came away satisfied with the offer.  We stood outside the Baird Brewer building and gazed across the street at FUMC discussing the future there.  Who knows.  There are plenty of rich people there but the budget is still not met.  Of course everybody waits until the end of the year to finish it out but that may not be enough to keep the boat floating.  I believe that the current membership can figure out a way to maximize what we have by reducing the space that requires maintenance.  Just a thought planted in my head by a fellow member.

Me and Joy navigated our way to my salsa sister's house to purchase some of her famous suncatchers for gifts.  I am a valued customer so I got a discount. I got hooked on those way back when she brought her wares up into the lab in Freda's office.

Y'all be well and thankful ^j^

election night

Y'all can wake me up when it's over next week.  Today has been a pretty dizzy one for me.  Kind of dauncy as the Little General would say.  I'm talking holding onto door frames.   It was unseasonably warm which will change on a dime this weekend.  The sun sets now around five something.  I noticed on Weather Underground that tomorrow will be two minutes shorter.  It just depends on where you are I guess.  I'm in the low country so I can catch a sunset in a heartbeat if I'm here.  Meanwhile, I saw the partially red moon rising and now she is up in the sky all bright and white.  I can see her face! 

I began blogging as a way to journal my life and feelings.  Writing daily has helped me to process what I have lived as the end nears.  My good buddy Chuck called it "embracing your mortality."   As firm believers in a giving and powerful God, we believe that all are welcome, even if broken.  The only difference in the Lord's prayer is trespass and debtors.  FUMC and Dyersburg Cumberland used to do awesome choir concerts.  My Daddy and I did them together.  He was a tenor and me an alto.  We sang together for many years and poor Mom couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.  At the end, neither of them sang at all.  They died peacefully with family by their side when God called them home.  That's a win in my book.

Let's all meditate toward peace and love ^j^

novemblah

My good buddy Paxito coined that term years ago about the month of November.  Second rainiest month of the year and dark early.  It rained all day today and if I were the suicidal type I would have jumped into the lake and drowned myself.  I was up early for a doctor's appointment and kind of told dude I was taking a break from Prolia.  "Why would you do that?" he asked.  The short answer is that I can't afford the twice yearly co-pay on a 5K drug.  I am 25% at risk of a fracture which is where I was two years ago and 1200 dollars poorer.  I'll just have to be really careful and not fall.  Uh, yeah.  I almost fell this morning crossing from one room to another and, instead, whacked my hand on the door frame catching myself.  Surely it's not broken.  Just a small abrasion.

Tomorrow is election day and already the deniers are lining up to sue.  This is a ridiculous waste of time and money.  It is what is is when the votes are counted.  The GOP still cannot accept that Trump lost two years ago and so there you go.  Leading the way for more obstruction of democracy. I have already voted and trust that my ballot counted no matter who wins.  Of particular interest is the Dyersburg mayor's race.  I can't vote on that because I live in the county but....we shall see.  I can tell you that the streets in Dyersburg are deplorable and there is no new industry coming in.  There are a little band of pioneers trying to populate downtown which would be swell.  Our county mayor was a long shot and he won.  Anything is possible.

As for the Senate and House, I pray that there is no huge flip.  Dr Oz is the physician equivalent of Trump and even Oprah has turned against him.  She is the one who "discovered" him, by the way.  In my mind the main issue is sensible gun reform.  Every single day we read about some idiot with a gun shooting up a mall or a birthday party or other places where innocent civilians are going about their business.  Grocery stores.  Schools.  Churches.  This ain't rocket science people.  NOBODY but law enforcement and military should have repeating weaponry in the style of ARs.  They are weapons of mass destruction.  I was about 50 years old when all the school shootings started and every single one of them could have been avoided.  Because I have a five year old granddaughter, Sandy Hook still chills me to the bone.  How does anyone ever get past that kind of horror?

I suppose that we hope and pray that common sense will prevail over the almighty dollar.  After witnessing live what happened on January 6th my faith has withered on the vine.  It seems that the idiots are in charge of my world and that pisses me off big time.  I don't believe in the death penalty to this day.  And I certainly don't believe in privatizing prisons.  I do believe in a woman's right to choose about her reproductive health, heartbeat or not.  I truly cherish the right of a person to die peacefully without hopeless intervention.  

And I pray, a lot ^j^

hurry up and wait

I know better than to visit the 'gentral on Saturday, but there I went to Four Points which is the junkiest of them all.  All toys were buy one get one 75% off and I got stuck behind a woman who was obviously buying Christmas presents for a hundred kids.  I'm talking FOREVER in line.  Self checkout wasn't working.  I could barely maneuver in there with all the inventory parked in the middle of aisles.  I should have gone to Forrest Street to the shady one.  In spite of their location, they run an easy to access store.  The thing I miss the most is that they don't sell clothes anymore.  I was looking for sweat pants and ended up with some fuzzy pajama ones.  And two toys for Reaves.

I woke up to no internet this morning so I found myself crawling around on the floor with tech support on the line.  We had a big thunderstorm pre-dawn so I figured it was due to lightning.  Both modem and router were dead as a doornail.  Until he suggested I check the outlet.  It's a double one and the only in my bedroom but the lamp that is also plugged in was still on.  I unplugged the lamp, plugged in the computer stuff and immediately got power.  Funny thing is, when I plugged the lamp back into the other one, it worked.  I don't know....just glad not to be without my one form of entertainment for the weekend.  

Today is a big day for UT fans with a powerful opponent in Georgia.  I wish my Daddy was still alive to see this comeback by his precious Vols.  But then again, I guess they have TV in heaven.  Poor thing hung his head in shame the whole time I was at Memphis State but I did end up as a UT Memphis graduate so that made up for it.  

Tomorrow is All Saint's Day at church and hopefully I'll have my girls there with me.  I will never forget my friend Kay coming to sit with me on All Saints Sunday the year that my mother died.  It was tough hearing her name read aloud as a saint but brought me comfort as well.  Lorna and I talked about the afterlife the other day and we both feel that it is a cosmic kind of thing, unlike the pearly gates deal.  That involves judgement which I don't think God is into.  Who knows?  After almost dying twice in one week, I can testify that there is, indeed, a God and He is good.  Jesus definitely took the wheel before I crashed into a ravine on the way to ER.  And a pox on the ER doc who brushed me off as "not having diverticulitis" without even doing a scan.  Normal white count, off you go old lady.  I remember very little of what happened when I went the second time, eat up with sepsis.  And that is a blessing.

I feel oddly separated from the holidays this year.  It's just me and the girls and Bubba and nobody ever has the same schedule.  I've already purchased a couple of things for myself ahead of time...little things like a day planner and wall calendar to start the new year.  The last time we had Thanksgiving dinner together, I cooked at the old house and we ate on a folding table down here in the new one.  I didn't move in until February of the next year but it seemed like the thing to do.  Moving became a necessity when my pipes froze up there on the hill so thank goodness we already had some furniture down here.  Bubba and I went around to all the utility companies and got me signed up shortly after.  

I am tired to the bone and my stamina is very low right now.  Is it age?  Perhaps.  Maybe just soul sickness.  I look for the positives in all situations and try to be humble and grateful and do the next right thing.  It's just a melancholy time of life for a single old gal.  Sleeping a lot doesn't help.  And when I sleep too little?  It's pitiful.

Y'all wear your orange loud and proud today.  Good old Rocky Top ^j^

connected

I am not a newbie when it comes to troubleshooting an internet connection on the phone with a tech.  I don't even call until I have rebooted both modem and router.  A couple of times.  All that crap is down in the floor because the whole thing is in progress.  Got to get that stuff up high!  That will require a power strip or two but, what are you gonna do?  As for me I'm over crawling on the dusty floor without my glasses because I put them down somewhere.  Thanks to Forked Deer Connect, I am back online.  I told the guy it was no big deal and I could hotspot for tonight, but by golly we fixed it.  

How did we get this way?  Totally hooked on electronically communicating instead of in person.  I can tell you honestly that if there is an important issue on the table, I want a face to face rather than an email.  Texting is a handy way to communicate but, like email, you can't read the tone of the person.  That's why I don't text much.  I'd rather talk.  That's why I go through my head and figure out who to check in with.  Sounds crazy, right?

The beans are almost gone but the dust still lingers, thus the AC is on in November.  Well that and higher than average temperatures.  As I watched this year's crop come and go I was kind of reminded of The Grapes of Wrath.  My grandfather was a product of the post depression era when you grew your own and worked for the man.  A sharecropper.  He and Lottie had three girls and one boy who would later take on agriculture as his life's calling.  He fell in love with Mama during their years at DHS on College Street.  He was senior class president.  Her house was right across the street so that's where all the kids hung out.  That very house is for sale again.  I would love to see the inside now, one more time.  I guess I'll have to contact the realtor.  

I have an idea.  Let's all just hug each other long and strong.  I got one this afternoon from a guy I haven't seen in six months.  There is still a faint smell of his cologne on me.  You will never find me wearing anything stronger than amazing grace ^j^

playing to win

Unlike most folks, I never buy lottery tickets.  With Powerball at 1.2 billion today I decided it was time to fork over a few bucks and take my chances.  I was asking the lady who sold it to me how to see if I won and she laughed.  "You'll probably win and you've never played before!"  If only. With my luck, if I won I'd get hit by a bus.  My friend Sue took me to a casino one time and declared me snakebit by the time the night was over.  We sat at the bar for a long time watching Memphis State basketball and flirting with the bartender.  I just don't get the thrill of pouring money into games like that, but I was on her dime so there ya' go.

Speaking of my dear departed friend Timmy D. he gifted me with a dog named Sam one time that was wayyyyy too rowdy for his daughter's apartment in Memphis.  Sammy D was a Jack Russell mix and just a young 'un when Tim and Amy pulled up in my yard with him.  Daddy's dog had just been killed and Sam needed a home so that was the plan.  Only it didn't work.  After one night Mom told me to come get him because it was "like having a stranger in the house."  We never had a house dog when I was growing up.  So Sam lived a long and happy life up on the hill with Butterbean and whatever lab I had at the time.  After Tim left "the company" he was traveling to Jackson for his next job and I would run into him at sixish up at the chicken store .  I had to be at work at 6 and often stopped there for a breakfast sammich'.  I would also run into Pierce White on his way back from the farm to the office.  That was back when Christine was still there and they had a total ass of a boss named James.  I called corporate on him for treating them like that and he eventually went away.  They have a super cool boss now named David.

The dust is flying again with the beans across the road being harvested.  I'm ready for all this to be over.  Bubba told me that Daylight Savings Time is going away following this "fall back."  I always thought it was to help out farmers but he said it was so kids didn't have to catch the school bus in the dark.  Live and learn.  

It's open season on supplement renewal so Bubba and I are comparing notes and chatting with Rick Brubaker at White and Associates.  I definitely pays to shop around and find the best deal.  I don't know who is paying for all those zero premiums but God love them.  Believe it or not, we are moving closer and closer to universal healthcare and you just KNOW that it's my dream.  Always has been.  I'm sick and tired of Big Pharm.  Hell, big anything.  Y'all can thank Bernie Sanders for all of the bounty.

Y'all be safe and brave.  And don't do anything stupid ^j^