My eyes popped open right at daybreak and there was STILL no toilet paper so here I go to the chicken store. As I approached I could see the blue lights flashing up from Boss Hoss. There was a truck and a car from city and as I rolled by a county car joined the scene. They had two blonde chicks outside of a white Mustang and were patting them down for what looked like an arrest. Not sure what all that was about because they looked like nice girls. Anywho....
So, it's Mother's day weekend and big sale day down the road. I'm keeping my distance because why watch strangers pick over my parents' legacy? Maybe later but I doubt it. I knew that it would be a tough Mother's day and so I'm delighted to be spending it with my very own daughter. MeMaw will be present in spirit. Marfie came by and bought some cookbooks after visiting the sale yesterday and I had to find chairs so we could sit at the table like real people. It's still a wreck around here but getting better.
The dogs were going nuts on the steps yesterday so I ventured out to find a snakeskin out there which looked pretty new as in Mr. Snake just left it! This is when I'm grateful for Ryan's weedeating skills, even if Jr. does mow down the asparagus. Twice. The season is over and the ferns stand proud and tall. Mom made me a picture one year of the horse eating asparagus over the fence. Priceless! It was all fenced then and slowly but surely as critters have moved on the fences went away. These are the ones that my Daddy spent many a hard day patching and repairing. Cows are hell are barbed wire.
An old friend messaged that he's in town and might come by which is cool. He was one of the original tribe of kids who stayed around here forever when they were teenagers and beyond. They have all scattered but still consider me to be their otha' mother. Bobby D was one of about 6 guys who unloaded a trailer full of mulch one find spring bonfire evening. It was party central around here then with the crowds gathering around what used to be a pile in the driveway.....right in front of the barn. Yeah, I was that mom. However, they were all legal so there you go.
Happy mother's day to everyone who has loved a child as their own ~
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Friday, May 6, 2016
happy friday bitches
I hope each and every one of y'all are doing something fun for weekend eve. I've been fortunate enough to work every third for a # of years but that is soon to cease I've been told. Since I don't have church duty anymore that's okay. At least all the O's aren't trolling the place. We have this answering system that consists of *choose an option as in pay your bill or ask for the lab. When Miss Hazel retired she got replaced with patient access, which isn't a totally bad idea if you have the right tools and people and treat them right.
As a long term employee I've seen carnivals come and picnics go. Everybody shows up for something free and corporate captures those moments for PR opportunities proving how happy everybody is. My friend Liz has lost her job as of July. She's had multiple health problems so that's good on her if you know what I mean. Every time there was a rat killing at the Dyersburg hospital, she was there in force doing what she does best which is saving the world. Her mother and mine worked many years ago at the local unemployment office. Rosemary is still disco lips to me and Bubba! She and I were on the IS conversion team when sale #2 happened in 2003.
I see God things now in the rearview like how I came to know Trisha. Her daddy worked at the golf course and they lived in the to-die-for house back when we still had kittens under the porch. She and her sister and most likely the oldest babygirl came to check them out with grandma in charge. Ditto for Quint and Punk and all my other best friends. When you are being led by a higher power, nothing is impossible.
March is usually employee satisfaction survey time but that's been postponed until next quarter. Who am I to judge corporate decisions? Who I am is a BS/MT who has been loyal to Parkview Hospital through all the changes that we've seen in the healthcare industry. Everytime big fish ate little fish I said to myself "self...this could be a good thing." Ultimately if the team is fractured and the mission vague, things don't work out. Visions change even if we do "know what a miracle you are." I'm ecstatic that UT is doing all those transplants! That kind of procedure involves a lot of blood support. 5% remember?
I hope your weekend is lovely. I'll be snapping photos of pickers who agree to be photographed with my badass phone camera. No release required, by the way.
^j^
As a long term employee I've seen carnivals come and picnics go. Everybody shows up for something free and corporate captures those moments for PR opportunities proving how happy everybody is. My friend Liz has lost her job as of July. She's had multiple health problems so that's good on her if you know what I mean. Every time there was a rat killing at the Dyersburg hospital, she was there in force doing what she does best which is saving the world. Her mother and mine worked many years ago at the local unemployment office. Rosemary is still disco lips to me and Bubba! She and I were on the IS conversion team when sale #2 happened in 2003.
I see God things now in the rearview like how I came to know Trisha. Her daddy worked at the golf course and they lived in the to-die-for house back when we still had kittens under the porch. She and her sister and most likely the oldest babygirl came to check them out with grandma in charge. Ditto for Quint and Punk and all my other best friends. When you are being led by a higher power, nothing is impossible.
March is usually employee satisfaction survey time but that's been postponed until next quarter. Who am I to judge corporate decisions? Who I am is a BS/MT who has been loyal to Parkview Hospital through all the changes that we've seen in the healthcare industry. Everytime big fish ate little fish I said to myself "self...this could be a good thing." Ultimately if the team is fractured and the mission vague, things don't work out. Visions change even if we do "know what a miracle you are." I'm ecstatic that UT is doing all those transplants! That kind of procedure involves a lot of blood support. 5% remember?
I hope your weekend is lovely. I'll be snapping photos of pickers who agree to be photographed with my badass phone camera. No release required, by the way.
^j^
Thursday, May 5, 2016
carrying a clipboard
I had this friend who worked for management at a major aircraft company in Dallas. He struggled with hating the city life and wanting to do something that made him happier than carrying that clipboard and looking worried about stats. Last I heard he had taken up a new line of work and moved to Colorado. He always was one to follow that star. He and his partners wrote powerful emotional pieces about current topics in a way that held my interest and turned me kind of rabid on the liberal political view. I can't remember the name of the others but one was in Missouri....Mule maybe? The other was umm..I forget. Blogging was just beginning to be a thing before they could be categorized by topic and mine was just out there. Mommy blogging became big during that time because hey! It's excellent therapy.
There was one I read called Hospice Guy which was pretty much as you would expect. This is how I learned about the whole philosophy that EK Ross and other pioneers worked their asses off for. To be in a compassionate setting with an incurable disease is a huge blessing no matter what life has dealt. If there is family around to do the sitting and hand holding so much the better. Often, there is nobody but the paid professionals on duty. That's when you are blessed with ones who care and wish to do no harm. The entire industry revolves around money and has for many years. Not for profit companies are just as guilty when they use apportionment dollars to keep their healing ministry going and make a few bucks. They're all the same basically.
As Rod would say "Here's the thing." Each of us is given a talent by Big Ernie and often more than one. You might be a wonderful writer and good cook plus have a great voice. If these gifts are used to his glory and honor, you have done well in his eyes. Or hers, if you believe in Sophia. I have used mine for therapy and my own personal enjoyment to escape the reality of a dead end job and stressful family situation. Had I been smarter there would be more focus on the talent and less on the stress creators. Because in the end, you're all you've got.
Well, you and Big E.
^j^
There was one I read called Hospice Guy which was pretty much as you would expect. This is how I learned about the whole philosophy that EK Ross and other pioneers worked their asses off for. To be in a compassionate setting with an incurable disease is a huge blessing no matter what life has dealt. If there is family around to do the sitting and hand holding so much the better. Often, there is nobody but the paid professionals on duty. That's when you are blessed with ones who care and wish to do no harm. The entire industry revolves around money and has for many years. Not for profit companies are just as guilty when they use apportionment dollars to keep their healing ministry going and make a few bucks. They're all the same basically.
As Rod would say "Here's the thing." Each of us is given a talent by Big Ernie and often more than one. You might be a wonderful writer and good cook plus have a great voice. If these gifts are used to his glory and honor, you have done well in his eyes. Or hers, if you believe in Sophia. I have used mine for therapy and my own personal enjoyment to escape the reality of a dead end job and stressful family situation. Had I been smarter there would be more focus on the talent and less on the stress creators. Because in the end, you're all you've got.
Well, you and Big E.
^j^
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
elder advice
I ran into the dear deaf internist who cared for both of my parents at the end and now claims me as a patient as well. We've had lots of conversations over the past months several of them with me in tears and threatening to run away. He is calm, cool and puts things in bullet points where a crazy ass crying woman can understand how to get from point A to point B. And still...I drag my feet. "Expecting rain?" he asked since I was carrying Daddy's UT umbrella. In fact, it was left from yesterday's showers and needed a ride back to the Camry for the next monsoon. I thought he was going to tell me to get that scope done and his words were "get out and have a little fun." Just what the doctor ordered.
My friend Debbie is a librarian who has lived in Texas since she was 19. About ten years ago she randomly selected me as " looks like a nice place to visit " and spent a few days on the hill with us. She's the one who helped me put down out of control fire #1 from asparagus burning. It was November, dry as a bone and crop stubble everywhere so there you go. We both had a broom and it eventually hit the road in spite of ourselves. I could just see me having to tell corporate I burned down the farm. Which almost happened last year, by the way. We haven't talked in like forever so yesterday afternoon's long conversation was a treat. Her husband died last year following a long illness and we compared miseries concerning the vicious cycle of hospital, rehab, nursing home. She left a long term job that she had come to hate and found great joy in an opportunity to blend her Christian beliefs with a love of books. I just love that story!
Poor idiot Cruz will go down in presidential history as the one who smacked his wife in the face as he was giving up the ghost against the Donald. That's right up there with Cheney shooting his friend! The 3rd party idea is being tossed around ( again ) as if it's a new idea with all eyes on beating Hillary or else deciding she's better than Trump. That's kind of a sideways conservative kind of logic but it is what it is. There is and has been a 3rd party in this race from day one and his name is Bernie. There has never been a more opportune moment to shake up the two party system and all the negativity that it promotes. Vote for somebody and forget about partisan politics for once. The right to elect our leaders is a valuable one and should be made with an educated mind.
I've put it off long enough and the floor must be mopped to prepare for open house on the Lane. Hopefully I'll make enough to buy a swimsuit and new tennis shoes.
Namaste ~.
My friend Debbie is a librarian who has lived in Texas since she was 19. About ten years ago she randomly selected me as " looks like a nice place to visit " and spent a few days on the hill with us. She's the one who helped me put down out of control fire #1 from asparagus burning. It was November, dry as a bone and crop stubble everywhere so there you go. We both had a broom and it eventually hit the road in spite of ourselves. I could just see me having to tell corporate I burned down the farm. Which almost happened last year, by the way. We haven't talked in like forever so yesterday afternoon's long conversation was a treat. Her husband died last year following a long illness and we compared miseries concerning the vicious cycle of hospital, rehab, nursing home. She left a long term job that she had come to hate and found great joy in an opportunity to blend her Christian beliefs with a love of books. I just love that story!
Poor idiot Cruz will go down in presidential history as the one who smacked his wife in the face as he was giving up the ghost against the Donald. That's right up there with Cheney shooting his friend! The 3rd party idea is being tossed around ( again ) as if it's a new idea with all eyes on beating Hillary or else deciding she's better than Trump. That's kind of a sideways conservative kind of logic but it is what it is. There is and has been a 3rd party in this race from day one and his name is Bernie. There has never been a more opportune moment to shake up the two party system and all the negativity that it promotes. Vote for somebody and forget about partisan politics for once. The right to elect our leaders is a valuable one and should be made with an educated mind.
I've put it off long enough and the floor must be mopped to prepare for open house on the Lane. Hopefully I'll make enough to buy a swimsuit and new tennis shoes.
Namaste ~.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
forward motion
I'm creeping along, but still moving which goes to show you that determination trumps fatigue, for today anyhow. I'm sitting under the central air away from outdoor pollen and listening to music on my itty bitty phone because that's how I roll. Without buds, by the way. But even there, the ads are everywhere. I'm in a 2 year TV contract and never turn it on except for an occasional random search. I definitely miss BG in that respect because she recorded all the good stuff. I'm rummaging through piles and posted some old pics of high school friends many MANY moons ago. We've all gone our separate ways over the past 40 plus years, but we never forget to walk on the wild side.
My mind has been opened on a number of levels over the past years. I've learned a lot about how a grieving family stresses and breaks then comes back together without the others. Sometimes sudden, often prolonged....death comes randomly according to lifestyle and heredity and choices made. Sometimes it's just a "shit happens" kind of deal. I truly believe that the good lord knows the time and circumstances so that's one less thing to worry about. That being said, life is short so get with it Poops. I'm dreaming again and seeing possibility where I never thought it would be in my life. It is acceptance and letting go and it feels mighty good. The clock is steady ticking.
The beach looks a little closer and I'm glad not to be there lately with the monsoons and such. I would be sooooooo pissed if I didn't get at least one sunny day out of it. I can play cards anywhere, ya know? I was a lifeguard at the Moose Pool during high school summers and that's what we did when the rains came and we had to kill time until the sun came out. Spades and Hearts all the way baby. We flipped burgers, made cokes and babysat for a bazillion kids whose parents dropped them off or settled in for some quality time with them. I can tell it now because the statue is up but I was once impaired on the lifeguard stand. The water was to die for gorgeous if you get my drift. I never had to dive in and save anybody but I did pull a few out of the deep when somebody got stupid.
Grace ~
My mind has been opened on a number of levels over the past years. I've learned a lot about how a grieving family stresses and breaks then comes back together without the others. Sometimes sudden, often prolonged....death comes randomly according to lifestyle and heredity and choices made. Sometimes it's just a "shit happens" kind of deal. I truly believe that the good lord knows the time and circumstances so that's one less thing to worry about. That being said, life is short so get with it Poops. I'm dreaming again and seeing possibility where I never thought it would be in my life. It is acceptance and letting go and it feels mighty good. The clock is steady ticking.
The beach looks a little closer and I'm glad not to be there lately with the monsoons and such. I would be sooooooo pissed if I didn't get at least one sunny day out of it. I can play cards anywhere, ya know? I was a lifeguard at the Moose Pool during high school summers and that's what we did when the rains came and we had to kill time until the sun came out. Spades and Hearts all the way baby. We flipped burgers, made cokes and
Grace ~
Monday, May 2, 2016
retail therapy
My habit has always been to eat crappy hospital food for lunch because I don't like the hassle of getting out. Lately I've discovered that it's a nice way to break up the day so as to prevent overload and freak out. Sometimes even that doesn't help, but at least it's some sort of break from reality. I bought a dress today for the beach, a simple 12 buck rayon tie dye that caught my eye at the drug store. There is still no swim suit but I'll get to that one shortly. Hell I can always buy one when we get there.
The sale is on for three days this weekend at Casa Grands. Sale Lady didn't much want me to put it on Facebook because she's already BOUGHT advertising if you can believe that shit. She obviously doesn't know how good of a marketing tool that FB really is. Of course she's 80 and doesn't like anybody messing with her "production." Whatever. She also didn't want to deal with any of my stuff which brings me to having a one day only bargainananza up here on the hill this Saturday. My youngest brother should be in the area so maybe we can dig through memories and have a cold one.
Is it just me or have things settled down a bit? I'm not hearing much out of Trump or ISIS or that fat little fuck in NOK so there's that to be thankful for. Shhhh...knock wood. It's still cloudy and wet but the weather should turn soon in time for what we now call "the end." A house mover will meet with corporate to ascertain chances for moving up the hill. If not, they'll stay put and go to Plan B. I like that about them, all with the preservation of history. LERD...we got it!
Here's the thing to all you people who never stop talking enough to listen: Everybody has a story and it's not all about you 24/7. Unless dinner was outstanding, I don't need a play by play. Ditto for church and every other thing because we're there to work. Fellowship happens when we work together for the common good of the team. One of the things I've learned in Anon is that you cannot make someone choose to be happy. That's a personal decision.
Empathy is the ability to feel someone else's pain to the point that you put yours aside. It's actually a very healing activity. It is a gift from God or a gene...maybe both. Mostly I think it comes from being heard and respected as a child and developing adult. I had teachers all along the way who challenged me to be better like Mr. Bruce, Milam and Uncle Jim. Rena Moss was my heroine and the gal who got me hooked on science. Madame Gauldin taught me French which I never used so there you go. Now it's Chinese which makes much more sense in the whole scheme of things.
I got organized on the job today and thank goodness nobody was bleeding to death or anything. I have always been intrigued with the whole Dooce thing because how, really do they know you're talking about them? Context perhaps. Never any names because HIPPA doesn't allow. No pictures but always ALWAYS with the stories of life and death. I have given my best to an industry that is pretty competitive at this point. Healthcare facilities are brokers for mega corporations and insurance is the middle man along with Big Pharm. As a veteran healthcare provider I can tell you that a lot of free food comes out of their budgets when the drug reps visited. Which was often. Gotta' keep that formulary list up to date.
I actually got a bot comment because of yesterday's title. Ain't life strange?
Brother Dave said......
The sale is on for three days this weekend at Casa Grands. Sale Lady didn't much want me to put it on Facebook because she's already BOUGHT advertising if you can believe that shit. She obviously doesn't know how good of a marketing tool that FB really is. Of course she's 80 and doesn't like anybody messing with her "production." Whatever. She also didn't want to deal with any of my stuff which brings me to having a one day only bargainananza up here on the hill this Saturday. My youngest brother should be in the area so maybe we can dig through memories and have a cold one.
Is it just me or have things settled down a bit? I'm not hearing much out of Trump or ISIS or that fat little fuck in NOK so there's that to be thankful for. Shhhh...knock wood. It's still cloudy and wet but the weather should turn soon in time for what we now call "the end." A house mover will meet with corporate to ascertain chances for moving up the hill. If not, they'll stay put and go to Plan B. I like that about them, all with the preservation of history. LERD...we got it!
Here's the thing to all you people who never stop talking enough to listen: Everybody has a story and it's not all about you 24/7. Unless dinner was outstanding, I don't need a play by play. Ditto for church and every other thing because we're there to work. Fellowship happens when we work together for the common good of the team. One of the things I've learned in Anon is that you cannot make someone choose to be happy. That's a personal decision.
Empathy is the ability to feel someone else's pain to the point that you put yours aside. It's actually a very healing activity. It is a gift from God or a gene...maybe both. Mostly I think it comes from being heard and respected as a child and developing adult. I had teachers all along the way who challenged me to be better like Mr. Bruce, Milam and Uncle Jim. Rena Moss was my heroine and the gal who got me hooked on science. Madame Gauldin taught me French which I never used so there you go. Now it's Chinese which makes much more sense in the whole scheme of things.
I got organized on the job today and thank goodness nobody was bleeding to death or anything. I have always been intrigued with the whole Dooce thing because how, really do they know you're talking about them? Context perhaps. Never any names because HIPPA doesn't allow. No pictures but always ALWAYS with the stories of life and death. I have given my best to an industry that is pretty competitive at this point. Healthcare facilities are brokers for mega corporations and insurance is the middle man along with Big Pharm. As a veteran healthcare provider I can tell you that a lot of free food comes out of their budgets when the drug reps visited. Which was often. Gotta' keep that
I actually got a bot comment because of yesterday's title. Ain't life strange?
Brother Dave said......
Sunday, May 1, 2016
tennessee waltz
Our state has been Republican for so long that I hardly remember the old days of Blanton and such. Frank Clement? Winfield Dunn. Phil Bredesen was my favorite. Poor Haslam is trying to be a bit progressive but the old farts just won't get with his programs. Or at least that's the excuse. The history of our state is legendary from the Big Muddy to Gatlinburg and beyond. The most beautiful road trip I ever took was from the Ocoee River across and up North Carolina back onto I-40. I met a new co-worker who lives in that area and is moonlighting. His daughter is doing her first tour as a rafting guide this summer. The water that flows down the canyon is TVA controlled by a dam and water is released on schedule during the months that river people like to play. I did it twice, and it was the most fun I can say I ever had thus far in life. Of course that could change at any moment.
I'm headed to see BG tomorrow with a few things she requested like her Daddy's ashes. He's been riding in the Cadi since last fall and now that car is parked under the big ass pine tree not running. It's time for him to go home and I see that her being where she is came from his determination to be her hero and his faith in working the steps. It's a God thing, if you will.
Nashville is the home of country music and Memphis has Graceland. Lake County Tennessee is home to one of the greatest wonders of the world aka Reelfoot Lake and fried fish. My friends hold a collection of history that documents the passage of time in that little corner and it will go to the museum of history at the state park.
SO! Now it's Sunday and I've made a quick trip to visit Lauren at her new house. It's a very controlled environment and should be. Their model of addiction treatment is very successful and well led. Pnoler's ashes are delivered to BG for sprinkling, when she's ready of course. I have a feeling he'll be sitting by her bed for quite awhile. I met lots of new people today and liked most of them. In a sense, it was like church only without the hymns. Does that make sense? Annie called to share a story about her own granddaughter who is 14 hand writing a note to Lauren because she can't see to do it. Our system rocks, dontcha' know? So it rained for two days solid and today was only 20% only the heavens opened up right when I hit Campbell and I floated on out to 412. Looks like round 2 is on the way toward the lane as we speak.
serenity ~
I'm headed to see BG tomorrow with a few things she requested like her Daddy's ashes. He's been riding in the Cadi since last fall and now that car is parked under the big ass pine tree not running. It's time for him to go home and I see that her being where she is came from his determination to be her hero and his faith in working the steps. It's a God thing, if you will.
Nashville is the home of country music and Memphis has Graceland. Lake County Tennessee is home to one of the greatest wonders of the world aka Reelfoot Lake and fried fish. My friends hold a collection of history that documents the passage of time in that little corner and it will go to the museum of history at the state park.
SO! Now it's Sunday and I've made a quick trip to visit Lauren at her new house. It's a very controlled environment and should be. Their model of addiction treatment is very successful and well led. Pnoler's ashes are delivered to BG for sprinkling, when she's ready of course. I have a feeling he'll be sitting by her bed for quite awhile. I met lots of new people today and liked most of them. In a sense, it was like church only without the hymns. Does that make sense? Annie called to share a story about her own granddaughter who is 14 hand writing a note to Lauren because she can't see to do it. Our system rocks, dontcha' know? So it rained for two days solid and today was only 20% only the heavens opened up right when I hit Campbell and I floated on out to 412. Looks like round 2 is on the way toward the lane as we speak.
serenity ~
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