epiphany

It's been a hard candy Christmas around here from the get go so I'm not at all sad to say goodbye to the season proper.  Yesterday was probably the biggest struggle of my life just to keep one foot in front of another through waves of drama and fatigue.  It got better when I slept but hit again about 8AM today so all I knew was to pray and ask for good vibes.  And you know what ?  When I reach the point where I'm willing to ask, it's a blessing to just let the love flow.

Mid-day Monday I noticed an odd number on my phone with few contacts, but missed it at work.  Later in the day I answered and it was my friend Mamye letting me know that Renee's daughter had been killed in a car accident that morning.  Twenty seven years old.  DOA.  And it happened on the route that I take to work every stinking day.  That's also where BG did her little number and Mama totaled a Camry on the way to Easter service.  Surprise! was the sermon topic while she cried in ER.

She called last night worried because I took the dirty clothes and she didn't have a suitable undergarment but I'm pretty sure there's a clean one somewhere in the stack I left.  Anyway, the world is still turning so I reckon she found it.  I was passing time in the parking lot and making conversation with my nurse friend when she asked about how Mama is doing.  I gave her the short version and she began to tell me about burying both her brother and father about two weeks ago.   Her brother died of cancer from working at a rubber plant all his life, and once he passed the Daddy just took a hit to his already weak heart.  Now they've got her pitiful little mother to care for and we work for SATAN!  Heh.  Just kidding admin types.  We cried over our daddies and how we miss them and about how sad our moms are without them for the first time in 60 years.

I witnessed a transformation in my daughter over the past few months that is at times stressful but always interesting.  Our shared grief over the loss of our fathers is something that we have struggled with mightily.  In the end, it's all about missing that snug feeling of being somebody's special girl.

Manifest ~