triple b

Well, I hope y'all are happy MAGA.  It looks like you will have your way with the spending bill that actually increases the federal debt.  By 3 to 5 trillion bucks, no less.  And why?  To give tax breaks to billionaires.  In the process, it cuts healthcare funding for 14 million Americans, food assistance while giving dirty energy a tax break and destroying renewable methods as a viable alternative.  Great.  

What struck me the most was the way the holdouts caved in the end.  They had the courage to speak out long ago and did.  Then, at the end they flipped over.  Disgusting and predictable.  So many Trunpsters don't even realize that their representatives are hurting them.  Sometimes I wish I didn't understand it, but I do.  

Today is deep cleaning at Casa Poops.  LP is in a mood so here we go.  The way we roll is "you gotta' make a mess to clean up a mess" which usually results in a whole bunch of piles.  But the piles are getting smaller.  I slept until 10 today which is unusual but nice.  Listening to the ocean sounds helps me to fall back to sleep when I get up for potty breaks!

I am trying to go with the flow and celebrate small things as important.  I believe that is the key to being grateful, rather than dwelling on what I don't have.  I am so much more blessed than many.  I have a nice home, something to eat and good friends.  Don't stop believing, y'all ^j^

codependent

I first learned about it when I was in therapy many moons ago.  My tough ass little therapist grilled me and challenged me for about two years.  When sbe cut me loose there was one last question for me.  "Why are you holding on to that extra weight?"  And honestly, I didn't know.  She suggested that perhaps it was my way of not having to deal with men.  Who knows.  

I was shedding my old skin with family and trying to find myself again.  The first thing the therapist did was have me draw a bunch of things that make me happy.  There was a Christmas tree and a musical note and even flowing water.  I had pretty much lost the joy of these things because I was too busy trying to run the world.  It's funny now, but not back then!

My daughter was about four years old I think.  We moved that year to the farm.  So many fond memories from growing up here, for both she and me.  I was reminded the other day of a strange thing that happened when I first started studying end of life care.  EK Ross was my heroine so I reached out and mailed her a letter.  A family member responded and told me that she had died.  For some reason, I took that as a sign to study what people go through on the way to acceptance of death.  

Back in the day there was this big project in Missoula, Montana.  Led by Ira Byock, a team of researchers studied patients who were at the end of life in order to improve palliative care.  The terms hospice and palliative care are really not that different except for drugs.  I do not want to die struggling for breath and in pain like so many others I've seen.  But I cannot control that.  All I can do is play the hand I've been dealt. 

So, back to codependcy.  I have decided that is what Trump has with a strong dose of narcissism as well.  He is totally dependent on approval that he just makes shit up in spite of hard evidence.  If I hear Biden's name used ONE MORE TIME I might shoot my eye out.  If the current administration is so wonderful, why are we where we are?  Trade gone. Militarization of the government.  Karoline, for god's sake.  It's all such a circus I've had to scale back on the stuff.  Whatever happens will be there in the morning.

That rain yesterday upped the humidity again to 77%.  Can you say "muggy"? It's about five degrees cooler but sticky out there.  The neighbor got his yard mowed today and the corn keeps on growing.  All is well on the farm.  My scale back on hard news has resulted in more new things to help me heal.  I was that person for a lot of years.  Still trying to be everything to the world.  One of the cardinal signs of CoD is undying loyalty.  Let that one sink in.

At several points in my life, I have allowed things to take the real Janie away.  At my job, with my family and even with friends.  I avoid conflict, even when it is appropriate.  Being so driven to achieve peace, I found myself in the middle of a whole bunch of drama both in my work and personal life.  That's what we do....trying to fix.

I read every Melody Beattie book I could get my hands on back then.  And I began to grow some boundaries, so to speak.  She died earlier this year too.  All of that is to say this:  If one truly believes in being present in the moment, then we can learn something about others.

Tiger lilly is in full bloom which is typical for almost the 4th.  I remember when my old family friend Annie and I took her brother Nelson to a nursing home one Indepence Day long ago.  He lived about three months there before his cancer got him.  Nelson and Margaret were fixtures in my life as a child.  Margaret was a short stout woman who babysat us and made the best chocolate pie in the world.  Nelson would cook pork in a pit for the 4th of July and tend to it all night long. 

I'm going long today because sometimes it's just good to ramble.  Except when you are a world leader who obviously doesn't care about his people.  Then it's the definitive word according to some people like the minions.  Emil Bovi and Miller are really scary to listen to.  Yikese!

So hopefully somebody will cook me some BBQ butt, the way Noler used to.  He and his buddies worked BBQ benefits for locals who needed the help.  Moody Wadley was the sponsor for a very long time.  Now we have a community event once a year on the square.  Volunteers rock. 

We will need a lot of volunteers in the future when our healthcare system collapses due to Medicaid cuts.  Your little convenient hospital, especially if you are in a rural area, will shrivel and die.  That means traveling longer to get immedite attention.  Think about it.  Hospitals depend on whatever payment they can get.  Both for and not for profits depend on payment for services.  They can't just give it away, right?  This is where church health centers are a life saver.  Faith based healthcare iniatives are crucial in meeting people where they are and managing care.  

Well I gotta' go see what is going on in the Senate.  Y'all be blessed^j^

  

gratitude

so, here we a"re getting screwed by SCOTUS.  MAGA is thrilled to death that the conservatives voted to remove the power of federal judges to block things that he proposes.  This effectively ends the checks and balances on his power.  Not. Good.  If any of you would take the time to look beyond FOX, you would know this.  I guess it's  just been too much trouble for him to be messing with those "radical" judges.  SMH. This deranged man believes (or maybe not and just doesn't care) he has the final word.  The entire world is making other plans while he flexes.  It is sickening. Y'all go buy an orange daddy shirt, why don't ya?  

We had a rogue thunderstorm today and I enjoyed it.  I love watching the rain m ove across the fields.  The farmers all packed up and went home early.  It is quiet now with just the occasional bird tweet or kitty meow.  My flower beds needed a drink anyways.  I am in the process of reaching out more because I have actually been a hermit for a long time.  Lauren assures me that somebody would love to give me a ride if I just asked.  She is telling me that I am NOT a burden, which I needed to hear.

I stress too much and don't trust enough to just let it all go.  I am kinda' sorta' stuck on a couple of steps and keep going back to the beginning.  Which is, as Martha Stewart would say "A good thing."

As for me and mine, I will continue to believe in miracles because the God that I worship is loving and kind and gave his son for us.  And he had brown skin, by the way.  White Jesus kind of creeps me out now that I have studied the bible more.  I mean, it's a desert y'all.

Word of the day is gratitude ^j^

I am learning about vulnerability, shame, gratitude and joy from Brene Brown.  I know she's been around for a while, but she is new to me.  Much more inspiring than watching congressional hearings.  

random dump

So ummm.  Here we are only one week past the first day of summer under a heat dome like what happens every summer now.  But climate change isn't real, right?  Deny and lie for the almighty dollar.  

Since I've been watching Congress my admiration has grown by leaps and bounds by the likes of Jasmine Crockett and Elizabeth Warren.  Bernie Sanders too, but I've always been a bro.  I also admire Massie for standing up for what is right and taking a bunch of heat for it from the man.  What happened during the past two weeks was probably set in motion long before the shit hit the fan.  Israel is smart like that and well, you all know we are best buds.  You cannot ignore the Constitution forever and get away with it.

I was struck today by a reporter stating that the thing in Iran is not the big problem.  It is the starvation and genocide of the people of Gaza.  It is a  tragedy that could be fixed.  Trump loves the idea of putting in a resort there and making it like other venues that he owns.  How sad.

As for Canada, they have taken the high road and negoatited a good deal for their people.  Strength through compromise is the way to go.  What is best for all concerned.  That sort of deal.  Not how will this benefit ME personally.

I had a flashback to when I first got online with an internet company from Jackson called Aeneas.  The techs there were kind enough to tell me that typing with all caps is like yelling!  Nobody has told you know who that little tidbit.  

I just walked the yard and it looks like things are getting quite dry.  Hostas are blooming along with coneflower, black eyed susans and others.  Daddy and I used to walk this yard all the time and also at my old house, just to see what was coming up or blooming.  One of his sisters used to cut the flowers off of hostas because they got on her nerves.  If I' lying I'm dying.

I was on the porch when a white SUV pulled up and I started to run and hide because I thought it was the Jehoval Witness lady again.  Come to find out it was a couple of old friends checking out the corn.   You know, the corn that sweats!  Somehow, I don't see me getting out there amongst it this year.  

LP and I ran errands and had car church this morning before she went to work.  We waved like heck at Bubba.  And we listened to music and cried.  That was today's blessing ^j^

the F word

The word of the day is "obliterate."   Also "cosplay."   I watch a lot of internet news and I hear those terms being thrown around a lot.  I was truly stunned, though not surprised, at what Trump rambled on about at the NATO meeting.  Embarrased, actually.  While other world leaders watch and forged alliances it was business as usual for Trump.  Talke about me Me me me!  What is even more disgusting is that the administration is trying to convince people that the majority of us who think the strikes were a bad idea then we are disloyal to the military folks who carried it out.  That is not the case at all.  I'm not going to rant on about all that has happened since January.  Most people understand and just don't know what to do about it.

The heat is almost not tolerable and it ain't just around these parts.  I love sitting on the front porch with the cats but dang.  Not for long!  If I had a pool I don't even think I would be out there.  The air is thick and heavy.  Dang heat dome.

I have been doing some self-inventory lately and about to realize what my strengths and weaknesses are.  Being realistic about who I am gives focus for ways to change or build on something solid.  Fiscal responsibility is not my strongest so that deserves a lot of attention.  I had to open a new checking account last week.  Sooooo.  that involves changing direct deposit info for SS which I pray goes into effect by the July payment or I am screwed.  We are juggling things here day by day and waiting for some good news about a job.  Prayers up please.

We all know that nothing is forever.  Things change minute by minute and we have to adapt or not survive.  I'm gonna' keep on plugging as long as I can follow the light ^j^

ac

I don't do summer well.  At all, really.  When you can't breathe outside it's time to go in for a bit.  It doesn't bother the kitties...they lay around on the porch bird watchin'.  And I am watching too much news.  If I had real TV I could just get the "evening" report but that is sort of behind, ya know?Things are happening so fast now it changes by the hour.  Meanwhile, life goes on in Congress as a Republican with some sense dared to cross Trump on the Iran thing.  Donald called him bad things ;)  If you believe that the Simpsons predicted all this, take a look at that angle.  I'm not saying they are right, but pretty close.  Lisa for president.  I could go for that!

The more folks I talk to, the more I realie that "everybody's got something" to deal with, often LOTS of somethings.  And I believe that we should help each other on our journey through life.  Why do people always have to be about self interest?  That is not what Jesus taught.  Forgiveness. Compassion and healing.  Humility.  Nobody runs the world, no matter how hard they try.  And it will be at the expense of innocent citizens in our country that a point will be made.  Look at me...I'can do anything and get away with it.  What is pathetic is that so many people believe his bullshit.  Enough about all that.

I should be able to see a shadow shftt after the 4th.  Fireworks will be affected by tariffs so take it easy on the budget.  And of course there's the price of eggs...uh I mean gas.  "Drill baby drill!" he says.  It's not that easy.  If we had not pissed Canada off they might help a neighbor out.  Trump leaving all of those respected leaders to play war games makes me both sick and afraid.  

But you know what?  God works in mysterious ways ^j^

define success

That is the talking point today as we get more details from the US strike on Iran last night.  The attack was carried out without Congressional input which is against the Constitution.  Evidently that means nothing in the Trump world.  It is serious mental illness to claim that every thing we are dealing with now is Biden's fault.  That is their go-to blame game and they still play it at every presser in some form or fashion.  If all else fails, blame somebody else.

This is not a new thing.  If you look at Trump's history, he has always wanted some sort of deal.  He is dangerous now because he is surrounded by yes men and women who allow that mental capability to ignore what is best for our county.  This can be stopped, but only by bravery.  There are enough people who have enough influence to take the bite out of this big mess.  But it will require risking Trump's ire to do so.  Why don't you guys pray about it.  What would Jesus do?

We are studying the book of Daniel now in SS and it's pretty fascinating.  After the (teary) service we all gathered in fellowship hall for a meal.  Mary Beth and Jay have been such faithful and good friends to all of us that it was kind of a sad day for letting go.  We all gave each other to God!  We can always get a dose of her sermons online.

Y'all, please be kind to each other or at least don't fight.  It solves nothing and creates lots of other problems.  Politics is a prime example of this.  Those who refuse to see another side of a point are the ones who stir the pot to a boil. This was has begun whether we like it or not.  To claim victory for a one and done damage deal when there is no evidence is dangerous.  Biased news media are a  big part of spreading the hatred.  

So, here we are at the  beginning of another chapter.  I have a blog friend whose page was named Chapter Next.  That was many years ago but we are still in touch on FB.  We met at a critical time for both of us.  And that......is what matters in the whole scheme of things ^j^