oh yeah...mercury is in retrograde

I am disgusted on so many levels that I can't begin to tell it and y'all surely don't want to want to hear a rant.  I'm here for entertainment right?  The way I feel right now all I want to do is to retreat into my own little world.  Everything is a hassle and a bunch of drama which is not how I roll.  From healthcare to banking to gas pumps to collections, it's all like a maze to get service.  I arrived at Kroger today at the appointed time and got a call on the way that my order would not be ready until an hour after the specified time.  I told him I didn't want it but then I thought about all the time I put into making that order and called them back ( on hold for 15 minutes) to reschedule the pickup for tomorrow.  I was laser focused on what I needed and didn't feel like walking the COVID aisles.  If it's not ready tomorrow, they can get screwed.  

I figured while I was there I would get gas and that seemed easy enough except I was trying to put in my loyalty number instead my PIN so I got locked out.  I tried it again at the chicken store and fortunately they take checks.  My next mission was to get the bank to unlock my card so I can use it.  Also a fifteen minute wait.  Add to that these muscle spasms in my back from where I fell and it's just about to wear  on my patience. 

This is our world now.  The distribution chain is shattered and it's not all due to COVID.  Take the USPS and its' leadership.  He says he ain't leaving.  Hide and watch dude.  Delayed mail delivery will be a catastrophe for those who are expecting business transactions and are not computer literate or don't even have one.  

I'm off to order Rick Bragg's new book which is already a NYT best seller.  Gotta have something to look forward to!  Pardon the bitchy moody.  This too shall pass ^j^

it's a merkle

I thought for sure the trusty old Dell was deader than Elvis when I left the house this morning.  It absolutely refused to boot up.  I'm sure she's not long for this world, but imagine my surprise when she came to attention this afternoon.  I was really depressed at the idea of not being able to blog, even though it gets  me in deep shit sometimes.  Some stories are not to be shared especially when they affect the lives of others.  

I had a busy weekend and continue to look for opportunities to get out and connect with folks even it's on a golf cart.  A few months ago I hit up a guy at Los Portales who was handing out shirts to his workers and  asked if he had an extra one.  He kindly obliged and come to find out his company is building a state of art pavilion out at paradise.  We visited today and I met his wife.  

I then went on a mission to find  my ex-coworker/neighbor.  We finally found him and had a brief visit.  Great ride on a joyful day!  For now, I'm still here on the web.  I could do just as well writing it all down but my fingers get tired.  I have several things on my agenda including a peek at Mary Gwyn's art class on Saturday and a live Rick Bragg interview via the virtual Southern Festival of Books.  I will be ordering Speckled Beauty as soon as I get paid.  I quickly changed reading gears when I finished #25 of Stephanie and Lula and started on a Robin Cook medical thriller.  Don't judge me.

Peace and Grace to you and yours ^j^

alli want for christmas is dirt

Friends are the family that choose you.  It's not a blood kin thing (except in KY,MO,etc.)  I remember singing that song from GS camp that went something like this...Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.  I stayed 'til dark and managed to not turn into a Punkin, enjoying dinner with friends.  I had never been there before but I'll sure go back.

My weekend project is to flip the garden bed, put the ground cover under it and start the bottom with cardboard.  I'm like a dog with a bone about this.  For Christmas I just want bags of organic humus.  Lowe's delivers.   I am slowly turning into my mother, already planning ahead for Thanksgiving.  Dressing and one casserole already frozen.  Sourdough rolls ordered.  Turkey breast solidly frozen.  I'll let y'all know how it all turns out.  But FIRST we must celebrate the month of October and all the magic it offers.  I spend a lot of time on a deck overlooking a beautiful lake. Occasionally we see fairies that look like lightening bugs in the middle of the afternoon.  

For the 2nd day in a row Kelly got pre-empted by breaking updates on the mass shooting in Collierville,  It is still an active crime scene under investigation.  These things take time, ya know.  What impresses me the most is how all of the law  agencies that showed up and worked together.  If you currently suspect that someone has serious mental problems and has a gun, please report this.  Enough is enough dammit!  

If I had to list events that shook me to my core I could start with MLK and JFK.  Fifty years later, Sandy Hook.  That one shook me the most because they were just babies like Reaves.  Mentally ill? You bet.  But also had Mommy's arsenal of automatic weapons at his disposal and used one of them to kill her first.  Anybody remember his name?  I do.

I plan on a glorious weekend in the yard getting the garden box ready for planting.  I'll have to flip it over a few times and work out the bottom for dirt but it's our second year together so I think we can make it work.

Peace be still ~

 

random acts of evil

There was a mass shooting today at a Kroger in a town about 90 miles from me.  Nice, quaint upscale little town that doesn't have much crime.    When the police chief tells you it's the worst he's seen in 34 years of law enforcement, that says a lot.  Last I heard there was one victim dead as well as the shooter but about a dozen more wounded and hospitalized.  During Covid.  For the life of me I can't grasp the mentality of the ones who have a death wish and want to take innocents with them.  

Meanwhile, at our local river park some guy tried to kidnap a baby from the caregivers.  The guy chased him away and the baby was safe and the police caught him quickly.  Dude was wearing a blonde wig of all things.  It happens every day in every town.  Jesus wept.

There's a hole in my heart today and it's really because I've tried to think about the "what ifs" that could happen to my loved ones.  That's why I listen and read happy shit.  ^j^

don't count your bags until they leak

Even though I've had an ostomy for almost two years, it still freaks me out when I have a leak because I know that means one more expensive bag etc. out of my limited stock.  Insurance pays for 20 bags, wafers and other things for a bag change every 30 days.  I had finally found a getup that worked well for me when lo and behold the supplier had the MOST important item on back order.  It was something new that my nurse friend recommended and was absolutely a saving grace.  They substituted something else of a different depth and it just doesn't work as well which causes my skin to break down.  Not good.

All the shots are called by Medicare and the various insurance companies that provide supplemental coverage.  If a vendor is not in your network but provides better service you're out of luck.  Some people don't even have insurance to cover the costs and end up ordering from Amazon or other places at exorbitant prices.  It shouldn't be this way y'all.  I got a letter from BC/BS last week saying that I would be getting a rebate check by September 30th.  My friend already has hers and mine is somewhere between Samaria Bend and wherever.  Right when I need it most.  

But, on the happy side my babygirl is 37 and living her best life.  I guess we all are.  Just keeping on walking in faith ^j^

just another day

That is how my brother describes his January birthday. I hereby proclaim tomorrow as Elizabeth Reaves Pugh day as she will be four at around 1030 PM by emergency section.  They knocked Lauren out after delivery and I was the first to hold dat baby.  

That was when I fell in love.  It was complicated by I had scheduled my vacation for that week.  When I first walked into the labor room Kimberlie was sitting in a rocking chair looking all in charge.  She went on her way and LP and I spent three long days in the L/D area.  I have to admire them for giving the grandma a place to sleep.  It took us and a village to keep things going that first year.  There's a lot of drama you don't want to hear about but we made it.  Reaves will be 4 tomorrow and Lauren 37 the next day.  Hell I'm already 66 so I'm way ahead of 'em .  I will never forget the joy in holding these two newborns. 

They are my blood just like my brothers and cousins and on and on.  You can't take that away ^j^

the language of letting go

Melody Beattie is one of the first writers who help me understand co-dependency along with John Bradshaw.  It has been a long road from there to here.  If you looked it up in the dictionary, you would see my picture on the wall.  I gave too much to too many while ignoring my own needs.  I've been in love exactly three times in my life and all that is history.  I find myself in the golden years looking for a companion who accepts and loves me for who I am, bag and all.  That's not to say that I haven't been tempted on occasion.  From what i hear marriage is not a deterrent to having a "friend."  But ya know, that's not the way I roll. It's supposed to be forever til we part and all that goes with that.

Lauren and Reaves came to celebrate their birthdays today and we had tons of fun.  Lauren got the new tablet set up so they're all ready to compute.  We sprayed each other and Oscar with Amazing Grace.  He took it well but still stinks to high heaven.  

Y'all be blessed ^j^