Lord have mercy kids, TGIF and the sawmill is behind us. I am more committed than ever to finding an alternate revenue stream because I can't do much more in an environment where chaos reigns. I have too many talents that aren't recognized and respected to be doing what I do for a paycheck that just covers the bills. Life is short and then you die.
Mali..additional carnage in the name of Allah. Refugees: The "new" enemy. Nobody much except for Bernie is speaking up and that's disturbing. When I saw the number of Dems on that no refugee vote I had to wonder just how far left of Trump that they are. One of them was from the great state of Tennessee, by the way. Remember when all those countries had uprisings with the moniker "Spring"? That was the birth of this current wave of unrest. At about the same time people were also "Occupying" to protest big money control of the world. And here we are, with more blood on our hands.
We are still a one car family but the Cadi is at least in the bay and should be available for next week's hectic schedule. Mama is 82 today and got cards, flowers and lots of calls. I told her we would catch up with birthday treats when I get a ride! She could probably use some cookies from Joe's Deli or something...they are to die for, especially when warm. I've got nothing really smartassy to say because I'm feeling a lot of humility at the moment. Let's just leave it at that and call it a week.
God is good, all the time ^j^
.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Thursday, November 19, 2015
it's a beautiful day
When I was a young hippie my favorite song was White Bird. Years later, I heard it in the soundtrack of a movie with Diane Lane and remembered being young and all caught up in something I didn't really understand other than everybody was pissed and a lot of people got shot, much like present times. It hurts my soul to realize that the devil is alive and well and actually gaining on us. The co-dependent in me asks "do I do enough?" while the realist whispers "do your part." My loyalty is fierce and true and goes away quickly when no respect is shown. Just call it an old woman thing
My friend Linda Sue gave me a ride home today and we stopped by to meet James and look at her new floors. Her family is home to not one but THREE calicos, a black cat and Daisy. And probably a few more out back. We even made a pit stop at Raceway, the home of expensive beer and cheap gas. I hear the Forked Deer is flooding and the wreckers have been running pretty steady up at Patterson Brothers so the Cadi still isn't fixed. One more day, says Ann. The land shark will pimp again!
We were talking about holidays today and I realized that I've worked every one of them this year which is probably why my life seems all jumbly and run together. Or maybe it's just the sheer magnitude of grief that still weighs us down, collectively...as a family. Last Thanksgiving both my mama and her sister were residents at a nursing home close to the sawmill. Bubba and Mo catered Cracker Barrel into the conference room which was already stacked with Christmas decorations. I was working ( for time and a half ) and walked over to join everybody for lunch. I'm not sure who picked Daddy up from the house, but he was there. All of Debbie's children and some of Mo's were present with their own broods and it was a sight to behold. It seems much longer than a year.
LS and me passed the cemetery this afternoon and I do believe I spotted a foundation for Billy (ie) G's stone. Tomorrow is Mama's birthday so y'all all give her a call or a card. She likes that kind of thing. If I have a car I will show up for the birthday party. If not, I'll call a cab.
Integrity ~
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
hoarder
It's time to pay the piper for being the eldest daughter and granddaughter. Everybody's stuff from each house that has been vacated has migrated to mine or a cousin's place so we can sort and treasure. That is precisely how my house came to be filled with all things in piles. New windows, doors and paint are a great reason to organize and move the shit. There is a full basement, though it leaks. That leaves the attic with about ten ginormous steps. I may have to hire the Budge It guys again! Good news on the Cadi from Ann...for only six hundred bucks it will run again. Maybe. At least the heads weren't blown.
FB is covered with folks bickering over history refugees and meanwhile, Rome burns. Unemployment, though much better, is still high. Healthcare is out of reach for many and the reason the rest of us keep working past retirement age. I'm not nearly naive enough to trust that either Medicare or SS will be there for me in 7 years so I am resigned to the fact that I'll work until I die of some stress related illness from working too much. It's the 'Merkan way.
A friend once remarked that I seem to be negative about everything which kind of shocked me. He said I was against Christianity and law enforcement and all things authoritarian which is true only about 10% of the time and that is when rights are trampled. I am the lone progressive in my family as well. Needless to say, we don't discuss politics on holidays if we even happen to all get together which is hit and miss. My mother always made sure that every single one of us gathered at a Martha Stewart decorated table for holiday meals. Thanksgiving is at lunch and Christmas is late breakfast complete with Gaga's cheese grits.
The power of being positive in a world filled with hatred is about all we can pray for. It's not about who comes over our borders or if the mentally ill can steal guns from their shoot-for-fun parents. All of this chaos is a manifestation of the devil and Satan is real. That sneaky snake hides until people are complacent and comfortable and then strikes fear in the hearts of innocents. If we harden our hearts based on what ISIL does, we are letting them win. Nobody wants them to win except them. IMO they have pissed off the wrong folks in succession and there will be hell to pay. Bomb the sumbitches to high heaven, just no ground war because they're steady filling up suicide vests as we speak.
And always keep the faith.
FB is covered with folks bickering over
A friend once remarked that I seem to be negative about everything which kind of shocked me. He said I was against Christianity and law enforcement and all things authoritarian which is true only about 10% of the time and that is when rights are trampled. I am the lone progressive in my family as well. Needless to say, we don't discuss politics on holidays if we even happen to all get together which is hit and miss. My mother always made sure that every single one of us gathered at a Martha Stewart decorated table for holiday meals. Thanksgiving is at lunch and Christmas is late breakfast complete with Gaga's cheese grits.
The power of being positive in a world filled with hatred is about all we can pray for. It's not about who comes over our borders or if the mentally ill can steal guns from their shoot-for-fun parents. All of this chaos is a manifestation of the devil and Satan is real. That sneaky snake hides until people are complacent and comfortable and then strikes fear in the hearts of innocents. If we harden our hearts based on what ISIL does, we are letting them win. Nobody wants them to win except them. IMO they have pissed off the wrong folks in succession and there will be hell to pay. Bomb the sumbitches to high heaven, just no ground war because they're steady filling up suicide vests as we speak.
And always keep the faith.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
more!good!news!
The Cadi is still parked on a side street next to the wrecker house and insurance won't pay for a rental. Thanks to the wonders of Big Ernie I am off tomorrow so BG can use the (trusty) Camry to report back to work until we find out if it's fixable. If not, I'll be giving you a holla' for a ride home. It is what it is and I don't have a clue how this is gonna' play out. Considering the whirlwind year, I've learned to just coast. My golf course neighbors have a strange cat with a collar and we chatted about it in the parking lot of the sawmill today. Things are, shall we say, *austure* up in there. This is never a good thing when people are sick and dying.
As a rural hospital we struggle with a different sort of overload than big city trauma centers. Most of our folks except for the occasional car wreck or broken hip, are suffering from multiple issues involving end state organ failure. They are chronic and repeat admissions, becoming more and more frequent as they age. They also have good insurance ( some of them ) and the cash flow is always moving this way or that. This year we added an interventional cardiology program which involved a whole bunch of money and not much action. The plan went like this : We cath and stent you with absolutely no cardiac surgery ability on site with a freakin' helicopter running on the pad during the procedure. Does this sound like a solid to you? This is all in the grand diagnose and treat thing that was hatched by a previous O who rode on out into the sunset. I knew when I saw the HMA merger that life as we knew it was over. That was a huge acquisition for even the big fish and involves not only hospitals but those tedious little physician practices that feed the system.
Nothing that I've said here is not common knowledge so don't even think about lawyering up or retaliation. Ya'll have never seen the stink that will happen if somebody dares to ask more of me for less. Ain't got time for that. I took Mama a cherry limeade and we chatted about her neighbor who calls everybody "sweetheart" and is well, confused. She was half asleep "watching" TV. There's a turkey meal for families on Friday and we're making plans for several dressing feasts. Hey..it's only once a year.As karma and Big Ernie would have it I am blessed with an unexpected day off tomorrow unless K shows up at work. Let's all hold hands and manifest that not to happen, umkay?
Tis the season ~
As a rural hospital we struggle with a different sort of overload than big city trauma centers. Most of our folks except for the occasional car wreck or broken hip, are suffering from multiple issues involving end state organ failure. They are chronic and repeat admissions, becoming more and more frequent as they age. They also have good insurance ( some of them ) and the cash flow is always moving this way or that. This year we added an interventional cardiology program which involved a whole bunch of money and not much action. The plan went like this : We cath and stent you with absolutely no cardiac surgery ability on site with a freakin' helicopter running on the pad during the procedure. Does this sound like a solid to you? This is all in the grand diagnose and treat thing that was hatched by a previous O who rode on out into the sunset. I knew when I saw the HMA merger that life as we knew it was over. That was a huge acquisition for even the big fish and involves not only hospitals but those tedious little physician practices that feed the system.
Nothing that I've said here is not common knowledge so don't even think about lawyering up or retaliation. Ya'll have never seen the stink that will happen if somebody dares to ask more of me for less. Ain't got time for that. I took Mama a cherry limeade and we chatted about her neighbor who calls everybody "sweetheart" and is well, confused. She was half asleep "watching" TV. There's a turkey meal for families on Friday and we're making plans for several dressing feasts. Hey..it's only once a year.As karma and Big Ernie would have it I am blessed with an unexpected day off tomorrow unless K shows up at work. Let's all hold hands and manifest that not to happen, umkay?
Tis the season ~
Monday, November 16, 2015
riding the wave
For months on end the news has been covered with a refugee crisis so huge that people are willing to risk their lives at sea and borders to get away from the bad guys. That is how terror works best....divide and conquer. The generation that is now training for jihad has no memory of happier times with less conflict because it has always been thus and so for them. They claim to be fighting a war, but they are simply bullies wielding their power like the fat guy on the schoolyard who can crush you just because. There is a long streak of paranoia up in there as well and somehow they trust each other explicitly to carry out "the mission" probably because it is easy picking with civilians to brand your terror.
Mexico is not our friend and never has been. They used the idiotic drug policy of this country to mainline all things pharma via train plane and coyote. Ditto for guns. I read a piece today that mentioned Turkey calling out one of the Paris bombers not once but TWICE to French authorities over the past year. This kind of information sharing is vital if the madness is to ever stop. If your government can't afford the homeland security to do that, ask Trump for a loan. It would make a great campaign story.
I don't blame Bush for everything and certainly not our POTUS but I do lament the fact that they both had chances to do the right thing and didn't. Had the "conflict" in Iraq been settled quickly instead of politically correctly and with much financial gain to Halliburton, we would have all been for it. Instead we have a generation of folks who signed up to protect and serve our country and who now have their benefits cut. They returned to a post-08 crash world in which there were very few jobs and the economy was tanked. Everybody is an armchair politician these days and there is still a dangerous division between parties. That's what is so refreshing about having a choice like Bernie. So what if he's a Socialist? It would take a hundred years to undo the financial protections that are the government propping up Wall Street.
Brother called with an estimate of rent increase for windows/doors/paint and I'm looking at probably an additional 150. This was once a nice house and so it shall be again. Maybe I'll write a book and make a million. No diagnosis on the Cadi yet as they are short one mechanic and behind because *sigh* Monday. I showed up at work to a shitstorm this morning and moved my ass like I haven't in a very long time. I knew the slow spell wouldn't last.
Faith ~
Mexico is not our friend and never has been. They used the idiotic drug policy of this country to mainline all things pharma via train plane and coyote. Ditto for guns. I read a piece today that mentioned Turkey calling out one of the Paris bombers not once but TWICE to French authorities over the past year. This kind of information sharing is vital if the madness is to ever stop. If your government can't afford the homeland security to do that, ask Trump for a loan. It would make a great campaign story.
I don't blame Bush for everything and certainly not our POTUS but I do lament the fact that they both had chances to do the right thing and didn't. Had the "conflict" in Iraq been settled quickly instead of politically correctly and with much financial gain to Halliburton, we would have all been for it. Instead we have a generation of folks who signed up to protect and serve our country and who now have their benefits cut. They returned to a post-08 crash world in which there were very few jobs and the economy was tanked. Everybody is an armchair politician these days and there is still a dangerous division between parties. That's what is so refreshing about having a choice like Bernie. So what if he's a Socialist? It would take a hundred years to undo the financial protections that are the government propping up Wall Street.
Brother called with an estimate of rent increase for windows/doors/paint and I'm looking at probably an additional 150. This was once a nice house and so it shall be again. Maybe I'll write a book and make a million. No diagnosis on the Cadi yet as they are short one mechanic and behind because *sigh* Monday. I showed up at work to a shitstorm this morning and moved my ass like I haven't in a very long time. I knew the slow spell wouldn't last.
Faith ~
Sunday, November 15, 2015
on being the bug
Considering that I wasn't just murdered in Paris I'd say life is good. I slept for 13 hours and actually feel like working on the mess that is my house. Yesterday I did some surface work down at Mama's to get ready for whatever comes next. Cousin Mo is on a cruise ship with her recently clotted up husband, doing fine thanks to blood thinners. As a Vietnam vet, he has suffered with a lot of post-war health problems. Agent Orange and all that. Mom is back in her groove and at church with Carney, maker of the world's finest pimento cheese. Had I woken up in time I probably would have gone to early service. That's more my speed.
With the Cadi dead (again) it's looking like I need to find a reliable used car which is difficult when you are in BK. The trustee must give permission and since I have two ( kinda' sorta') it's a nono. As I watched Patterson Brothers load it up one last time for a diagnosis on Monday, I marveled at how many times we have used a wrecker service JUST this year. They know us by name and know that we'll pay but it's becoming more and more difficult to get where you need to go around here. I guess I could always call a taxi like Mama did.
I've been sitting on a monetary gift for several months now, knowing that eventually the shit would hit the fan and I'd need it. I have squandered too much cash over the years by not paying attention to spending habits or keeping up with balances. Y'all would die if you knew how much I paid in OD fees just this year. That I am not fighting those battles anymore is something I can thank BAD and Liz for. I actually had to get my hearing moved two weeks when he died because of funeral prep. You can't make this stuff up.
As we were leaving the FH that day word came in that a well known farmer had passed. And then people just kept on dying.......I'm not real sad about Daddy anymore because I know the quality of life he had and it wasn't good. He was OCD and defiant to the very end, at least until he hit the ER that Sunday night. Then, he just laid back and let the morphine work. Sometime during the night I went home and changed into scrubs, knowing that I'd have to report to work about the time he was admitted.
What followed was six weeks of chronic elder care which involves passing back and forth from SNF to hospital and over again. The surgery department was "lightly staffed" meaning the boss was on vacation. Dr. Anesthesia is pretty impressed with the way we cover their backs with blood and such and I stomped my little feet until the surgeon did something...like anything. He was put to sleep three times, held NPO more than that and died of a lung condition that results from too much you know what. Plus sepsis.
This is what I do for a living...diagnostics and patient care. During my career I've seen the laboratory go from boiling test tubes to almost full automation. The big dogs like Quest run brazillions of tests every year often over ordered by physicians desperate to cover their ass for a diagnosis. Specimens are picked up by car in designated areas and taken to Memphis for transport overnight to Chantilly or Atlanta or Egypt. Thank you FedEx! The state of Tennessee runs a lab in Nashville that performs PKU testing and monitors things like reportable diseases. We do not have Medicaid because the Republicans won't allow it. I did, however, read today that the state coffers have 300 plus million in the black for our budget. Probably from lottery.
Anybody who has a grandma that just lost her keys, let me know if she has a car that just got driven to church. Let's manifest this kids ^j^
With the Cadi dead (again) it's looking like I need to find a reliable used car which is difficult when you are in BK. The trustee must give permission and since I have two ( kinda' sorta') it's a nono. As I watched Patterson Brothers load it up one last time for a diagnosis on Monday, I marveled at how many times we have used a wrecker service JUST this year. They know us by name and know that we'll pay but it's becoming more and more difficult to get where you need to go around here. I guess I could always call a taxi like Mama did.
I've been sitting on a monetary gift for several months now, knowing that eventually the shit would hit the fan and I'd need it. I have squandered too much cash over the years by not paying attention to spending habits or keeping up with balances. Y'all would die if you knew how much I paid in OD fees just this year. That I am not fighting those battles anymore is something I can thank BAD and Liz for. I actually had to get my hearing moved two weeks when he died because of funeral prep. You can't make this stuff up.
As we were leaving the FH that day word came in that a well known farmer had passed. And then people just kept on dying.......I'm not real sad about Daddy anymore because I know the quality of life he had and it wasn't good. He was OCD and defiant to the very end, at least until he hit the ER that Sunday night. Then, he just laid back and let the morphine work. Sometime during the night I went home and changed into scrubs, knowing that I'd have to report to work about the time he was admitted.
What followed was six weeks of chronic elder care which involves passing back and forth from SNF to hospital and over again. The surgery department was "lightly staffed" meaning the boss was on vacation. Dr. Anesthesia is pretty impressed with the way we cover their backs with blood and such and I stomped my little feet until the surgeon did something...like anything. He was put to sleep three times, held NPO more than that and died of a lung condition that results from too much you know what. Plus sepsis.
This is what I do for a living...diagnostics and patient care. During my career I've seen the laboratory go from boiling test tubes to almost full automation. The big dogs like Quest run brazillions of tests every year often over ordered by physicians desperate
Anybody who has a grandma that just lost her keys, let me know if she has a car that just got driven to church. Let's manifest this kids ^j^
Saturday, November 14, 2015
we have seen the enemy
Like so many others I am in shock over the terror in Paris. It was obviously well planned by people who believe that Allah will welcome them with open arms and lots of virgins. Boy will they be surprised. And once again, like in the aftermath of 9/11, all Muslims will be labeled blindly as terrorists when it is the radicals that are acting out. We ( as in all the world ) are sitting ducks for the hatred of this so called holy war. There is nothing holy OR honorable about killing innocents. The politicians will argue to spend more or less on defense and we will continue to be surprised when homeland security fails us. Radicals and extremists come in many different disguises and appeal to a specific audience, and that includes self proclaimed Christians who carry long guns and harass those who believe differently than their KJV of religion. Terror? You bet.
The fact that these kinds of attacks are carried out internally with assistance from others all over the world is quite disturbing, just as it was for us. It won't be long before some bozo with a mental illness decides to strap on a suicide belt and join the carnage for one moment of fame. When you see no way out, desperation is a mighty motivation. We are just like Russia and France and England and all the other countries who have been targets and there is no way to win other than securing the borders and focusing on safety. All of the political rhetoric and posturing will not change this because it is based on burning hatred of our western ways.
I write out of fear many times, and this is one of them. I believe that this is a great country that has gone rogue on us and dropped the care of the least of these, including veterans, on the curb while the Waltons and Kochs spend billions on unfair labor practice and polluting the earth. We did that through buying into the greed of more is more and less is not enough. Get a bigger SUV or truck so you can burn more carbon...yeah! Send the chicken to China, the home of bird flu, to be processed and then pimp it at Kroger. Let your right to affordable healthcare become a political mandate and give the insurance companies more power. It's all a shell game and we are the losers.
My friend GWeez had this old saying : "Sometimes I think well. And sometimes I think never mind." That's about the size of it for me right now. Gotta' get out of my head.
Peace ~
The fact that these kinds of attacks are carried out internally with assistance from others all over the world is quite disturbing, just as it was for us. It won't be long before some bozo with a mental illness decides to strap on a suicide belt and join the carnage for one moment of fame. When you see no way out, desperation is a mighty motivation. We are just like Russia and France and England and all the other countries who have been targets and there is no way to win other than securing the borders and focusing on safety. All of the political rhetoric and posturing will not change this because it is based on burning hatred of our western ways.
I write out of fear many times, and this is one of them. I believe that this is a great country that has gone rogue on us and dropped the care of the least of these, including veterans, on the curb while the Waltons and Kochs spend billions on unfair labor practice and polluting the earth. We did that through buying into the greed of more is more and less is not enough. Get a bigger SUV or truck so you can burn more carbon...yeah! Send the chicken to China, the home of bird flu, to be processed and then pimp it at Kroger. Let your right to affordable healthcare become a political mandate and give the insurance companies more power. It's all a shell game and we are the losers.
My friend GWeez had this old saying : "Sometimes I think well. And sometimes I think never mind." That's about the size of it for me right now. Gotta' get out of my head.
Peace ~
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