trumpcession

Realizing that I am being a disloyal Lenten person, I feel compelled to note a few things about what is going on in our country.  These are not "little" things as the president calls them but a major shakeup in our way of living.  Our freedoms, our democracy and our economy are at stake.  Nobody up there seems to care, following willy nilly along party lines worshiping their leaders.  We all know who they are and what they are doing.  I heard a pundit say today that the way to deal with this is not to jump at every little threat that they make.  The whole idea is to keep us confused about what is really going on so that we will be easier to manage.  People who are living the high life don't seem to understand that we are literally dying out here.  The chainsaw approach is scaring the bejesus out of everybody.  It is a wakeup call that many will not heed.  Or is it even too late??  The structure of the government is being torn apart and the evil ones have our personal information, including finances.  It's all been uploaded, believe me.  Our allies are gone and prices are about to go out the roof.  I just bought an old car and found out today that the AC doesn't work. I should have known better.  At least it runs from point A to point B.  

We are trimming the budget around here and Netflix is next to go.  I never watch it because I don't sit still that long.  My attention span is quite short unless I am writing or porch sitting.  This day is beautiful and the doors are propped open.  Daddy's buttercups are starting to bloom.  All is well.  

I had a heart to heart with my GP this morning about streamlining my care and he agreed to take my suggestions.  My mantra these days is to simplify life.  I'll be honest, if it comes time to raise chickens and make your own clothes, I'll be moving in with my baby brother in Virginia.  He is a survivalist and libertarian who believes in living simply off the land.  Both of my brothers have brought up, in the past, the money that my parents spent on my college education.  They took out a loan for my last year at UT Memphis which paid for tuition and books and gave me a small allowance per week.  They were so proud when I got that degree because that made all of us UT students!  Go Vols.

I remember Daddy driving us to UTM to see the Lady Vols play the Lady Skyhaws.  Lauren and Kimo were about 13.  I think there was ice cream after.  My ex and I returned when LP graduated with a BSW in 2009.  We left the next morning for a trip to Florida thanks to my parents.  On the beach, we met some Kelloggs people who had an inflatable Tony the Tiger and we drug his butt up to the condo as a souvenier.  There was the usual sunning and gunning and a bus to get to the beach.  I told some lady I was a blogger and she immediately pulled up in her official vehicle wanting to schmooze me.  I think the HOA sent her.  That didn't happen of course.  We were too busy chilling.  

Heather and Joe were there along with Gumbler who drove all the way from Texico.  It was the first time we met Joe D, an Iraq vet, and we all loved each other....and you're next!  Vick and Marisa slept upstairs and I was on the downstairs couch.  Not sure where the others were.  Me and LP and Noler and Liz and Allison and Melissa had been to Gulf Shores many many times but moving toward the bluer water that is somewhat clear was a real treat.  I hate to be sappy, but I want to one more time before I die.  Bucket List.  Think "Beaches"

We continue on through the season of Lent.  Forty days of contemplation and redemption in the desert.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day that John Kilzer committed suicide at Betty Ford clinic.  He was a rock star in his early days and later became a UMC pastor after having a "spiritual awakening" at 201 Poplar. 

Next to the Kentucky Fried Chicken, he said.  His work preceding his death were a very powerful tribute to the downtrodden.  What made him take his life?  I have no answers to why anybody does that.  When the guilt and shame and resentment get to be too much, nobody knows what they will do.  Don't worry, I'm not about to off myself, just let God do his work.  I don't believe that suicide sends you to hell, by any means.  God doesn't work that way.  

"We've all got a God sized hole in our heart" ~  Rev. D John Kilzer

who is my neighbor?

I had plans to go to church this morning but had an ostomy emergency that kept me home and watching online.  It is the Lenten season and a time in desert for many of us who believe in Jesus.  I gave up political discourse this year because I think it has become toxic to me and my world view.  Mary Beth continued her sermon by asking us who are the most despicable people that we have trouble loving. If you know me at all, you can pretty much guess who my go to folks are and they are not many.  I forgive, over and over again.  I do not hold a grudge for very long. I get over it and move on, and bless their hearts.  Loving to laugh and be peaceful are my major personality traits.  However, I am a rebel when it comes to human rights and whatnot.  Like a dog with a bone, if you will.

I watched a video this morning featuring the people who are in prison in the state of Oregon.  They have the opportunity, unlike in many states, to get paid for working inside of the facility to earn money or points for perks.  Many of them are putting their wages back for starting a new life after release.  It keeps them going and adds to the economy of our country by 1000%.  I also watched a piece about how Chintatowns all over America are dealing with the tariffs and how that affects their businesses and communities.  The same can be said for other countries hit by the extreme tariffs.  This will trickle down within a few weeks to we the people of the USA.  

As for me, I will doctor my stoma according to what seems to be a blockage in the works. Drink more water and keep changing bags.  Thankfully I have a new supply but only one belt that was soiled and is now drying on the box fan.  I will order more now that I have a bit of money.  I tried to do that with my usual supplier but was told that the shipment would be held up because of that "new" item.  Girl, please.  

I see my PCP in the morning and I have lots of questions.  Like "

why is my left ear hurting like a mofo?" What is my creatinine and GFR?  Last month they were stable but you never know.  What I want is a PCP who will monitor me and not send me out to 10 specialists with a 30 dollar co-pay.  I have canceled several because I didn't have the money.  I don't think these PCPs exist anymore because, well you know.  They don't want to take responsibility for something that can be construed as not covering their asses.  

My sin of the day is envy of those folks who can just hop in their car and go to their places and afford to eat out once a week.  But I am working on that during this season.  Sorry this has not been an inspirational post.  I'm not feeling it right now but there is always tomorrow.  I haven't seen Reaves in about five months.  Lauren is with her now and I'm glad but I sure could use a hug from dat' baby.  Just saying ^j^

rachel

She is a truly amazing woman.  I first met her when she was slinging food at the four points gas station and gave me half off on sausage and biscuits after 10am.  Our families are connected over decades through parents and grandparents.  She has always been a journalist and invited me in when she became general manager of the Dyersburg State Gazette.  There were zero reporters other than her when Brandon Hutcheson left and he was later replaced by William Northcutt.  My job was as a "stringer" meaning that I pitched stories to Rachel and then followed up with interviews that were eventually published as "spotlights. "  Some of those folks were Will Bird, Joe Wolfe, Athena Goodall Reed and Jimmy Hester.  With each interview I was introduced to the missions and goals of local people in our community.  I learned a lot from Rachel and the folks that I talked with and made lifelong friends.  As a contributor to SHE magazine I met some new BFFs including Dawn Gordon.  Our interview was at Green Frog which was not a good choice because the music plays all the time.  My interview with Casey Hipps took place here at the cabin though I had known she and her history from visiting her little take out place next to the gigantic yard sale close to Four Points.  Rachel and I were partners in a side venture that began as a pipe dream from a guy who hired us for three months to launch Pioneer Life.  We didn't make any money, but we tried our best.

Rachel is a very talented photographer who does private session for all sorts of events like weddings, graduations and anything in between.  That is called Pioneer also.  She did a photog session with me and Lauren and Reaves a few years ago when Reaves was, shall we say, a sassy young girl.  There were buttercups and iris all around while we posed and whatnot.  Great memories. My favorite is one of all us girls sitting on the front porch steps.  These are my girls.  

I have effectively taken myself out of the political arena into my own life.  Day by day, nobody knows what is up with the POTUS and his minions so I won't worry until a special ed teacher in Munford shoots himself before class.  Which was yesterday.  Trump et al can take a chainsaw to the budget and they will.  I have witnessed many "almost" government shutdowns in my life. The worst was when LP was attending UTM for a social work degree and the money for tuition was not there when she showed up for class.  Mind you, social work is a thankless job these days.  Things look bleak for the least of these.

Resist ^j^

c

(new to me) ride

Once again we have transportation and, by the grace of God it is a Toyota which is what I wanted.  Bubba and I bought it from a holiness preacher who sells cars on the side and preaches "only from the Bible."  No liturgy, old hymns and lotso' long sermons.  His somewhat younger wife was making spring flower arrangements for the church.  She had to show him where to sign just like the people at the bank did with me.  I have been without AREDS for a few weeks and I can tell it.  

A friend of mine has been unusually vocal about politics lately and said today that he is giving up the rant for Lent.  Me too Tony.  It does nothing but raise my BP when things are totally out of my control.  It changes every day so keeping informed is important but bitching about it is fruitless.  God is in control and I do not believe He is happy right now with the good old USA.  

I am so grateful right now to have Lauren here with me to help with things.  She can see and I cannot, very well.  She got me some new readers at the 'gentral because I lost my good ones but I think I need to revisit the eye doctor for something stronger.  

The Lenten season is a time for reflection on the things that keep us from God and our faith in Him.  I did the ashing with sage yesterday afternoon but didn't go anywhere.  That was just between me and Jesus.

Y'all stay happy and healthy and safe.  Please be kind ^j^

in like a lion

Whoa!  If you are driving a top heavy vehicle in the south right now, bless your heart.  Winds up to 40 mph woke all of us in the middle of the night.  When they come from the west, the whole house shakes.  Rosie came in and out all during the night and was as confused as we were.  They bAt some point she slept next to me.  And Lauren.  And visited the crazy Siamese that lives under the house.  That dude creeps me out.  One crossed eye and a very aggressive  cry that sounds like a crazy cat.  We have watched him come and go under the house and tried to invite him in only.  Dayum..that dude sprayed all over the Christmas tree.  I know, I should have had it in the attic by now.  I did the sign of the cross with sage ashes.  Can't see too well but ... It was not last year's palm branches but I think Jesus understands.  That's what I love about he and his tribe.

Lent these days always reminds me of Brother John Kilzer and brother John Fisher.  Well actually, all of the ministers that have been a part of my life.  The first ones I remember are Hank Russell and Reginald Mallet.   There were many others like Cecil and Dell and David and what's his name.  Dude died on the golf course.  Back in the day our youth minister decided to go into seminary.  He laid a very well thought out plan to the council of parents and then went on his way.  When the council convened, the plan was not available.  Nada.  Locked up.  

That was when Lauren's group began to wander through the desert.  They are a big class of about 30 and they made many a SS teacher walk out.  Not me.  We went to the cemetery one Easter Sunday and talked about life and death.  We parked the church van right by my family's plot and had a sit down.  One other time, I took an actual unit of blood from work just to teach about how it saves lives.  HIPPA forgive me. No kid was harmed by this event ;)  Hopefully some of them learned something.

Y'all keep the faith.  And walk against the wind ^j^

 

ponzi scheme?

I think not, Elon.  When you start meddling with SS you are asking for economic collapse.  We paid into SS and Medicare all of our working lives while you were out there doing whatever it is that you do.  The tariffs will do us in first and prices will rise to where nobody can afford to eat or buy gas.  Not to mention what it will do to farming in this country.  You bought your way into being Trump's BFF and we all know it.  He helped you and in turn you helped him and all of us are going to suffer.  What will you do with all of us when we become homeless in America?  Concentration camps are probably on the table as an option.  Or worse.  We will starve to death like those in Gaza.

Am I being paranoid?  Nope.  I pay attention to everything that is going on there is an underground movement to resist what you are doing.  I will not be watching the speech tonight because I cannot afford "real" TV.  I get my news second hand and after the fact.  I am really surprised that you did not make an appearance in the Oval office during the smackdown of Zelenskyy.  I guess you were busy with your chainsaw slashing federal spending.  Not to worry.  They managed to fracture our relationships with our allies without you.  I have never been so ashamed of being an American.  

Not much faith in the world today.  Sorry...you can't always look on the sunny side ^j^

let's make a deal

I have never ever seen anything like the bullying that went on in the oval office yesterday.  It's as if Trump is still a reality show host only he's playing against all of us.  "You're fired!"  Which is exactly what he told President Zelenskyy.  What was supposed to be a meeting concerning a mineral deal turned into a shouting match that, like a train wreck, you can't look away from.  I watched in horror while the leaders of our country treated an ally like a bad school boy.  He knew what he was walking into yet he kept his cool,  and when he managed to get a word in edgewise, spoke thoughtfully and respectfully.  He sat in a defensive posture position with arms crossed and, took the beating.  So much for the mineral deal, huh?  Plan WWIII will be for Putin to break the ceasefire and seize the bounty for himself.  If Trump thinks for a minute that he will share because they have "been through so much together"  he is stupider than I thought.  Putin will throw him under the bus in a heartbeat.  They are two of a kind.

The most pathetic thing, to me, is that all these Republicans are sitting back and letting he and Elon run the show.  Because they're scared.  Well, so are we y'all.  So are we.  I come from a middle class family that was usually GOP voters.  And I never really paid attention to politics until I watched Nixon's resignation at my high school.  Watergate and Vietnam.  Those changed my views.  I was only in elementary school when JFK was murdered but I knew it was a bad thing.  The rest is history.  One of my high school teachers was an expert on that killing in Texas.  He had a room full of evidence that Oswald was framed by his own government.  Zapruder film.  Google it.

I have rant days and I have days where I feel the grace of God.  Most of my spiritual beliefs are based on helping others who are less fortunate.  My home church is a haven for those who might not feel welcome because of their life choices.  That is exactly what Jesus would do.  Without the support of friends and family during this whole wreck ordeal, we would have been screwed.  And I will pay that forward.  And we still have no car!  It's a process, you know?  You have to (get your brother to) kick tires and do test drives.  He gives Lauren rides to work and brings me whatever I ask for.  We are currently researching Lyft and Uber in the area.  When LP was in Jackson they were everywhere.  

I pray that you are all blessed with enough.  That's all I have ever really asked for and the good Lord has provided.  Faithful here ^j^