remembering

I am sitting here listening to the wind howl and the pecans hitting the tin roof thinking about two very special women in my life.  Once is my mother Janice Stafford who was born on this day in 1933.  Mama was my hero and always proud of me whatever I did.  I am making her dressing recipe for Thanksgiving that she inherited from her mother in law Lottie.  Mama was the hostess with the mostest always and foremost.  Everybody loved her and admired her skills that included party planning and writing.  She managed to make every occasion special complete with holiday themed napkins, plates and table decorations.  I wish I could say that I inherited her organizational skills, but no.  I do, however, look just like her!

My dear friend Lorna Donaldson went to heaven last night surrounded by her family.  I first met her some 20 or so years ago and we became soul sisters immediately.  We shared a love of nature and growing things and clung to each other during hard times.  I had given her my daddy's ag books some time before he died, and she lit a candle on them as he was passing over.  I knew when I saw that beautiful full moon that her time was near because every time I have lost someone dear to me, it was preceded by a full moon and a deer.  She was a pioneer in the field of organic farming like her father and taught many folks all over the country how to straw bale garden and grow food free of pesticides.  She was never quite the same after the death of her daughter Hazen and I am so happy to think about their heavenly reunion.  I'll bet there's some serious joy going on.

I say "I love you" a lot.  It makes some people uncomfortable but that's just who I am because I realize that the chance that I have to say it in person may be the last.  You just never know.  

As always, keep the faith ^j^

first best friend

Well..word has it that Musk is pissing off the transition team and refuses to leave Mar-A-Lago but who knows what is true at this point because it's all so bizarre.  One thing that really puzzles me is how raising tariffs and expelling immigrants will help the economy.  Both moves will increase the cost of goods to us in different ways which is something that Republicans promised to "fix."  Maybe I just don't understand economics but it seems pretty simple to me.  As it is I can't afford many groceries and it the prices rise?  

I visited my GP this morning for a couple of injections and a catch up on needed meds.  I do so love me a steroid shot when the allergies are bad and they certainly are.  The weather is so wonky that I've had the AC on because the gas logs are running and it's 75 degrees in here.  I'm ready for a hard freeze to kill all the pesky stuff floating around.  That is when I breathe best!

My iron skillet went missing so I borrowed one from Carol to make the cornbread for dressing.  The pecans are beginning to fall but not full force.  The trees still have leaves so they will have to drop first and then a big wind and frost will possibly finish it off.  

Y'all be faithful ^j^

cancer sucks

My dear friend is trying her best to go to Jesus but it's hard.  She has cancer everywhere and is taking her time but that doesn't surprise me.  Girl is a fighter, for sure.  She has been a mentor to me since we first met and I have come to love her family as well.  That pecan orchard in Tiptonville holds many memories for all of us.  Dying is an active process and the end is not always pretty unless caregivers are acutely aware of the signs.  I have cried for her, burned sage and otherwise held space for her the past week or so since we went on deathwatch.  I pray that she does not suffer needlessly.  That is the whole point of hospice.

I am currently about as broke as I've been in years because I don't have a job right now.  SS barely covers the basic expenses and now the folks are saying they are gonna' cut it.  I am truly alarmed with Trump's agenda and his cabinet picks.  This is why I avoid the news.  One thing that really hurt me bad is that my transmission went out this past year.  5K being paid out at 166 per month for 3 years.  That was not in my budget, nor was the flat tire this week.  At 69, I still work when I have a job.  Sitting is kind of random and depends on who needs you when.  If you are devoted to one client, you must honor that commitment even if others need you.  I posted yesterday about what I do that includes "light housekeeping."  Somebody messaged me and wanted me to clean their house!  Gurl...I have trouble keeping my own house clean and I'm too old for that.  

My current view above the laptop is people STILL picking greens across the road.  First freeze is coming soon so you gotta' get 'em before they die.  I reckon everybody and their mama wants some for Thanksgiving.  I'll just take a green bean casserole along with my turkey, dressing and deviled eggs.  That should be plenty for the 3 of us.  We have had Thanksgiving dinner in this old house for many many years, usually cooked up on the hill and brought down here.  The last time my parents tried to make sweet potato casserole it ended up all over the kitchen walls!  I don't like that anyway  but Daddy did.  The year before I moved into this cabin we setup a metal table and yard chairs in the living room.....Me, Bubba, Lauren and Reaves.  There is a picture somewhere.  

I miss purple hull peas. You can't find them anywhere around here.  When all the immigrants get deported Pictsweet will go out of business because, well.  You know they are the ones who work hard at jobs that Americans' won't take.  I owe a lot of people a lot of money and will pay them when I am able.  They all know that.  There is propane guy and the pharmacy and the bank loan for the transmission.  Sometimes I feel like I should just get a bike and do good like Sylvester.

Y'all excuse me for rambling.  Keep the faith ^j^

gray days

November is full of 'em.  No matter how unpredictable the weather gets, you can count on Novemblah to be just, blah.  The time changes and this year there was an election which, if you are a progressive, was pretty disturbing.  I have not whined or cried or bitched about it, but a lot of people are freaking out over another Trump presidency.  My answer to that is simple, I just don't watch the news.  I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means.  But, I still can't believe that Harris lost by such a big margin.  I read enough online to know that all of the work that has been done over the past four years to right the wrongs is for nothing.  He will pardon himself, the Jan 6th rioters, and anybody else who loves his trash talk.  Of course the outgoing administration is giving him the full transition treatment as he meets with President Biden today.  He did not give Biden that courtesy and began yelling and screaming about how the election was stolen.  Was this one?  Who knows anymore.  

So transition to me.  I never expected to be THIS old and navigating life by myself.  When I was younger I believed that I would grow old with someone who truly loved me and would be a partner until the end.  That never happened for me.  I was married and had a daughter and she had a daughter too.  I adore them both but I fear for the way of the world as they age.  I knew the best of both worlds.  As a member of a veritable "Cleaver" family I was insulated from much of the evil in this world.  Even so, I did two years of hard therapy in my 30s to find myself as an adult.  I remember my mother asking me "What did we do wrong?"  Nothing Mama.  You guys did the best you could with what you had.  You taught me manners, respect, honesty and a love of God.  I learned to cook well and enjoy growing things.  My childhood was very inclusive and I never heard you or Daddy use racial slurs because we were a mixed community and loved all folks, regardless of skin color or religious beliefs.  

When I was a senior at Dyersburg High School I watched the Nixon impeachment and the passage of abortion rights.  That was 51 years ago and we have gone backwards since then as a country.  How did people get so mean and self centered?  I suppose it is biblical and has "always been thus and so."  That's what Daddy would say.  Billy Yates said "Leave room for the spirit to work" and "This too shall pass."  I look to these elders for faith in these gray days.  Keep the faith ^j^

alrighty then

I live on a road with a scrapyard 1 mile from the house.  As you can imagine, it is a hot mess trying to get in and out to the by-pass what with vehicles out in the road waiting to go in plus all their crap that gets dropped for us to run over.  I cannot count the number of times I have had tires patched or plugged because of picking up screws and such just driving down the road.  The business is within the Dyersburg city limits and on the 

way to the municipal golf course.  It happened again today and I took the screw and receipt to the (new) owner.  There had been a gentleman's agreement with the previous owner that he would pay for tire repair caused by his business.  New owner said that agreement was not valid after the sale.  Hmm.  Way to make friends in the neighborhood dude.  I will follow up with a complaint to the city which has been done time and time again.  

I am remembering my Daddy, a USAF veteran along with all others past and present.  Thank you all for your service to our country.  Next week is my mother's birthday in heaven.  She will be 91 and I miss her every day.  She was the ultimate southern lady with a quick wit and a big heart.  I will always remember the big ass pin that was stuck on the bulletin board by the island where they ate.  "I am not dead yet" it exclaimed.

You all know how I feel about the election.  It has taken me a week to come to terms with the reality of it.  As a Christian, my choice is to pray for our country and the future leadership.  The Bible is full of tales where people disobeyed God and he smacked 'em down big time.  Big Ernie is in charge of all of it, and there is a reason for every season ^j^

tis the season

Against all odds it looks like we will have pecans for the third year in a row.  They have been smacking the tin roof like little bombs since the wind has been up.  The front one?  Not so much.  But that one by the back deck is loaded.  Probably not enough to make a million but enough for holiday needs and for Patty and me to get our fix or rolling and crawling.  It will be cold when they all come down but that is not unusual.  

I'm taking a break from the news because it is stressing me out.  I have other fish to fry and things to focus my energy on.  My family is in crisis and I'll just focus on that and not on who is going to be POTUS.  Self preservation, it you will.  

Keep the faith and remember who you are ^j^

red state reflections

Well folks, today is the day we've all been waiting for.  The weather here is pretty scary, high winds and storms coming.  Anybody who doesn't vote before 2PM will likely get soaked.  My vote was cast on day 2 of early voting because that's how I roll.  I chose blue on all three choices, though I know that in Tennessee that is not the norm.  Even so, my vote counts in the long run.  My home church is having a drop in prayer vigil today because, honestly?  There is a lot at stake here.  Democracy is the main thing.  I have heard all the jabber from Trump supporters and listened to his hate filled rallies.  And I just don't get it.  It is a very close race and if Harris wins, there will no doubt be more of the same as in 2020.  

Much of the talk about this election has centered on womens' rights and separation of church and state.  Had the Republican party chosen a candidate besides DJT, I would have given some consideration to that.  The man is a trainwreck filled with anger who thrives on the attention that his supporters give to him.  Unless you believe the conspiracy theory that George Soros bused in people on Jan 6, it should be clear what his agenda is.  Violence is key.  So is a lack of respect for the process of electing a president.  I watched that whole thing unfold with my late friend Joy and it chilled me to the bone.  I also watched a lot of the hearings led by Liz Cheney who is a Republican.  My respect for her is huge.  Many people who were big shakers and movers during the Trump administration have come out with stern warnings about another presidency for him and our country.  If you have watched The Handmaids Tale, you know how I feel.  I may just move to Canada if he wins.  

We, as a country, have lost the respect of the global community because of all this "crap."  The economy?  Not booming but maintaining.  The stock market?  Doing well.  Inflation is rampant and that is not the fault of our president.  One Trump supporter remarked to me that he wants lower gas prices and interest rates like during the Trump years.  Ummm. Okay then.  But what about wars?  I distinctly remember when Dubya and Cheney started one in Iraq and Afghanistan that killed thousands of our military and gave a whole of the rest of them PTSD and other health problems.  War is hell.  I have never believed that we as a country should be involved in the wars of other countries.  It always ends badly with a lot of money spent and a lot of lives affected here and abroad.  That is their business, not ours.  If national security is at risk, we should take care of our own.  

My life is very complicated on a lot of different levels right now.  While you are praying for the country, keep me in mind.  I expect a lot of trolling by conservatives who like to have the last word.  So be it.  I stick to my convictions and beliefs ^j^