immunity

Well well.  The worm turns once again.  According to what is being told on the news Trump's crew has this Epstein thing all zipped up nice and neat.  In typical fashion, the machine has tried to deflect the issue by attacking Obama, of all people.  Get over it GOP  Maxwell won't need a pardon because she was given immunity by the DOJ regarding her testimony.  Her kawyer ( Trump's ex criminal attorney ) is good friends with her lawyer.  Hmmm.  The perfect plan.  And the sad thing is his fans don't have a clue what he is up to.  Sometimes I wish that even I didn't know.  He always soeaks about transparency and, indeed, he is so predictable that we can see what's coming down the pike. As I read this morning about how prices are way up because of tariffs, I realized that it's not just me who is struggling.  It is everywhere through the poverty and middle class voters.  I am below the poverty level yet cannot get any help.  It's called "making too much" to qualify.  The one piece of advice I would give to anybody considering retirement is to know that prices will rise and your benefits will not.  Plus the Medicare Part B premium rises every year as well.  This is not what I imagined when I left the workforce.  

The power was out both yesterday and today for about an hour so I figure transformers are popping in the extreme heat.  Today should be ONLY 92 which is a welcome break from almost a hundred.  Next week will be brutal with possible relief by the weekend.  Day by day folks.  

I keep looking for the surprise lilies to pop up because it's about that time.  I remember that very well from the August that Daddy died.  Tommy picked a ton of them and set them in a vase by Mama's chair.  By Septemberk she was in assisted living.  That lasted five months, and then SHE was gone.  Our last  Christmas was spent at the nursing home where she was recovering from 2 hip surgeries.  

I am not really sure where my life is headed.  Things are very uncertain financially and physically.  I am glad that Lauren is here to help.  She started a new job today so let's all pray that she doesn't drop a plate on somebody!  

Writing has become much more difficult because of my vision so the blog is not as consistent as it used to be.  I will figure out the voice activated stuff in time but I sure will miss the keyboard.

Life is good anyway.  I just give it all to God and pray for the best ^j^

cabin fever

Well, it's the summer edition of not going anywhere because of the temperature.  And humidity!  My corn box is steady sweating and I can hear bugs crashing against the house and windows.  There is a group of small butterflies living on the back porch and they are giving me hope, for some odd reason.

I had lunch today with our usual group minus Carol and plus Dellona.  I haven't seen her in 50 years and she has definitely aged well!  When we first started doing the lunch thing several of us were still working so it was hard to fit it in.  Now we are all retired  and we make an effort to get together when Patsye is in town.  She and Larry have an adorable high energy Sheltie to keep them busy.

Of course we all know by now that Trump is "on the list" if there really is one.  His sudden attack on Obama ain't fooling anybody.  As for Mike Johnson, shame on you and kudos to the ones who worked around it.  The interview is supposedly going on today so we shall see what morsels they toss out.  

I don't know about y'all but I'm tired of the drama.  Each and every day it's something else trying to distract from what is really happening.  Like inflation.  I have pre-pay electric and it's running between 7 and 8 bucks a day vs 5 last summer.  And that is AFTER improvements.  My car insurance is out the roof.  Groceries are pretty much out of reach for a lot of folks.  Not to mention all the expense of back to school.  As for me, the proverbial snowball is at the top of the hill...

I've been doing my ADHD routine today because that is how I roll.  I have tried to do better but dang!  There is a little trail all around the house which is strowed with things I pick up and move.  Lauren goes behind me and organizes ;)   She also loves to decorate.  She got all those skills from my mother.

I just talked with another friend who is mighty sick.  I heard thru the grapevine ( aka prayer list in SS!) that he was in the hospital.  Prayers up for all y'all buddy ^j^

I've

running down the dream

Yes, my old hippie self is a Tom Petty fan.  Also I have no idea why I thought of him today.  That song, in particular.  I have not posted much about the political climate lately because it's scary.  I watch a broad enough range of news that I realize there are two realities out there.....the ones who are standing by Trump and not listening to conscience.  And the ones who know better and do bette  because it is the honorable way to treat the people who trusted you with a vote.  

This has nothing to do with the Epstein Files.  I believe the whole thing is a distraction so that more of the government's power can be spread.  There are Americans in prisons who have no criminal records. They are afraid of going to work because of ICE.  Judges are being labeled rogue and getting fired  Not even rogut...just boom you're gone unless you are a Trumpster. This is also disturbing.  I can guaranteed you if somebody came at me with a mask and outfit from Walmart I would run like only a 70 year old can.  They will catch me of course!  

Of course then there is the economy.  The teriffd deals are a hoax and we have lost our standing as a world leader.  They laugh at us because the country is being led by a bunch of ladder climbers with no experience in their respective departments.  Fox News hosts and whatnot.  

What Elon has done, and Putin too, is to gaslight the administration knowing that nobody has a clue.  Two weeks. Fifty days.  Yo' mama.  Do I think what they did was evil?  Damn right I do.  But there is a lot at stake here and if you believe the Simpsons he'll be gone in August.  CHF maybe?  Vascular issues.  When people are looking for signs they will find them, even with makeup on.  I could care less.  What we get with Vance should be interesting because he is much smarter and more cunning that bumbly old DJT.  Therin lies the danger.

Which brings me to Colbert who got canned by his network.  Some say, as I believe, that it was precipitated by Paramount's payout to Trump over the 60 Minutes piece.  That was the most frivulous lawsuit ever filed and they caved so they can get his highness to let them have a merger.  I love comedy of all types.  I used to watch Kristin Hampton doing podcasts from her car while testing random shady products she found.  Hilarious!  I grew up with SNL and still watch while enjoying the antics of late night hosts.  Ironically, Colbert will probably get higher ratings for the remainder of his contract which ends in May.  I feel sure the network didn't want to have to pay it out...lol

These are just my observations and they don't count for much in this world.  I'm just enough of a sap to believe that we all stand up peacefully together we can find some semblance of decency.  Jesus is sitting right here on the desk and He says it's possible.  And we all know he don't lie ^j^

 right here

the heat is on

Well, here we are sittin' here loooking like this under a heat dome or something.  I was gonna' go pull some corn but it's too dang hot.  I'd pass out between the rows and wouldn't be found until somebody ELSE came tromping by.  Can you imagine??  That would scare the bejesus out of me.  I remember one time an old guy was picking pecans at my old house and went down in a total pass out and pee on yourself right there in the field.  My boyfriend saw him go down and hollered for me.  He was pitiful..EMS came and he fought like a cat against transport.  Typical ornery old man.  Anyway, in the end he didn't go to the hospital but to his house after driving his truck through the yard and AROUND the emergency truck.  They followed him to 51 bypass.

a

All sorts of folks used to visit out there and that included some poachers who had to be run off.  There the usual farm hands and our friends.  All of those treees are natives of different varieties. The ones at this house are Stuarts/  Those huge trees were planted by my father about 40 years ago.  One in front and one in back for good shade.

I see the crape myrtle finally blooming.  That was Daddy's too.  There used to be grapevine on the fence over there before the cows left.  That is the very same fence that my cousin Debbie got hurt on when my horse threw her off.  I have never seen anybody run as fast as Uncle Jimbo did!

My gratitude for life and love is growing day by day.  I have always considered myself non-judgemental but have realized that I am a bit that way through profiling.  I try though.  Personally if you are good to others over yourself, it's what Jesus would do.  And he's right here on the desk looking at me ^k^

the saga continues

Here we are on a marvelous Monday again.  Sometimes the days run together which only adds to my confusion about where to be or what to do.  I know, sometimers.  The most pressing issue at the moment is my vision.  The state folks are coming back and there is an appointment with the eye doctor, both in August.  Dyersburg Hospital is two months out on mammograms which is becoming the norm for most elective procedures.  This is the new normal.  

I read that the rough economy put a big dent in Amazon Prime day sales.  40% down!  This is a quite telling effect of tariff wars.  And it's about to get worse.  If Jerome Powell gets "fired" we will be in deep trouble.  For the life of me I can't understand why the Epstein business is such a big deal when the whole country is sinking.  I mean, yeah but.....this may be the one that sinks him.

The corn just keeps on growing and sweatin' around here. I see folks in the fields sometimes, looking for some field corn to fry up.  I miss my mother's red face suppers that included all things fried with cornbread or her special crispy biscuits.  Daddy sometimes had bread with his purple hull pea juice.  Those were the days.  

His birthday is coming up soon so he's on my mind.  His last birthday on this earth was spent in a dingy nursing home.  I had visited the day before after work and saw a nurse not so successfully put in a wound vac.  On his birthday Lauren and Mom went by with a cake but I was absent.  Mom asked me on the 17th if I had seen him for his birthday and chided me.  "But Janie, yesterday wasn't his birthday."  Her own mother's funeral fell on his birthday one year but we still had the red face supper.  Fried chicken was his favorite.

So many celebrations took place in this cabin, but there have been losses too.  Through it all, I have morphed into the little old lady who talks about the past when she's not talking about her liberal views.  And not far left, mind you.  My faith continues to grow as I learn to just turn it over to God.  Life on earth is way too short to spend without joy ^j^

the corn box

This is your daily agriculture update from Pecan Lane, courtesy of Poopie.  When I left this morning I noticed the irrigation system running for the first time.  Later, we had a nice little shower....just enough to make things steamy.  I can still hear the thunder rumbling.

Yesterday was a very tough one for me because of my lack of faith.  I finally turned the whole mess over and feel better for it.  Yeah, I'm a slow learner.  

At the SS office this morning the officer asked the usual question which was "Are you carrying firearms or explosives?"  Uh.  No sir I promise. Raised my hands and everything.  What a goober I can be.  And I really don't care anymore.  Life is short and things look sort of unstable right now worldwide.  And that is not hyperbole.  

I am watching online as the masses open their eyes to the reality of our situation.  Sadly, many never will.  However, I have faith in human character enough that when the devil goes low, the godly go high.  With peace and assertiion.  No guns.  No cops.  No national guard in LA when they could be somewhere helping others.  This bullshit is helping nobody and causing violence.And it is nation wide.  

I don't know what to think any more so I just try not to.  It's bad for mental health to be all up in current events.  Just  more things to worry about.  Y'all follow the light ^j^

fake it

How long?  Well, until you make it I reckon.  Against all common sense and my stubborn self will, I am choosing to trust in the journey.  I have been fighting a losing battle trying to make it.  I may be hard headed but I'm not stupid.  Mr. Bruce told me I had a very high IQ!

The decisions that I have made often don't reflect that truth.  I usually react rather than act with a  plan and that is a recipe for disaster and constant drama.  My ADHD is pretty severe, as in....squirrell!!  That makes writing especially challenging.  I get up, think while walking around, and write some more.  Just pick up where I left off.

Am I the only one who's not alarmed about Hegseth's latest trick?  Part of me thinks that Trump is just dumping on him but I truly believe that he didn't know.    I am silently watching as the other global powers move on to Plan B, without us.  That's pretty scary.  

They say that nothing is forever so I suppose this, too, shall pass.  Leaving room for the spirit to work ^j^

amends

One of the twelve steps is to try to correct wrongs we have done to others if it doesn't cause them harm.  This comes after a fearless and searching moral inventory which can take *ahem* awhile.  Playing the victim has allowed me to get old and not responsible, but everybody loves me.  That is hard to accept along with the other ways that I have failed.  I try not to think about it and dwell on the things that I do well and enjoy.  My vision has me scrunched up with a laptop in the dark to watch Netflix but I can still see it!  

I saw the dentist today and they worked on my denture to improve the fit.  No liner needed just yet.  I am still learning the right amount of glue to use after a year.  But enough about me.

Like everybody else, I am keeping up with the searches in Texas.  And I am also seeing a lot of blame being thrown around which is absolutely horrendous and takes away from mourning this tragedy for what it truly is.  It's kind of odd to think about but someone mentioned Noah's Ark to me the other day and my mind went to that story.  

We have become so numb to horrible things happening.  Mass shootings are big news for a week or so and then something else happens for reporters to talk about.  We forget the horror of loss and try to move forward. One day at a time.

The first thing I do when I get up is go to the front porch to smoke.  It is usually quiet and the birds talk.  Cicadas play their morning song which is quite differenrt from the sunset serenade.  It's just the circle of life and nature and each day is a gift.  I know, I sound like a Hallmark card....lol

I haven't always believed that.  Going through the motions of being a control freak has made me much less grateful for what I have been blessed with.  So many of us think that we can earn love when in reality it is given freely if we are just open to it.  The demons will always be there trying to rob ya, but it's a choice.  To hope.  To believe in something wonderful.  To keep the faith ^j^

happy shit

I have been an absolute sloth this past week which included a lot of days in my gown tail.  Depression is real but it don't last forever.  When I feel sorry for myself, I remind me to think of others.  Like all those folks lost in the Texas flood.  Those little girls were the same age as Reaves.  Makes me shudder.  So, the blame game has already started over whose fault it was and it is not pretty.  I thought FEMA was gone but there was Kristi in her costume du jour.  My brother is a weather guy and he told me that sometimes things just "happen" and nobody is to blame.  And in my heart I know that.  So y'all quit blaming Biden why dontcha?  Give us something to hold onto besides an AFC fight at the White House.  

I have had to back off on all of it, seriously.  The left wing podcasters are getting on my nerves because they all say the same thing.  And Fox?  Lord have mercy on them.  The only way to get fair and balanced news is to sort through it yourself and form an opinion without bias.  

So today was nekkid shower day.  That is when ostomates peel off the bag and replace it after a nice long shower with zinc shampoo.  These changes are scheduled around peak "eruption" times so as to avoid a big old mess.  Mine is more active at night and early morning.  I can't see the bottles in the shower and I think I used body wash for hair conditioner.  Oh well.

The corn is every freakin' where.  I think I saw Shoeless Joe last night across the road but maybe I was just tripping.  I have never much been afraid of the kids out there which is a good thing.  I would never sleep! The  cicadas are really loud out here too.  They wail all day sometimes!  Meanwhile, the farmers come and go and the cats sleep on the front porch.  Just like in the movies, huh?

God works in mysterious ways sometimes.  It is not for us to know why or when about what the plans are.  Faith gives us the courage to look toward the light when all else is dark ^j^

alrighty then

Well, the fireworks over except for the ones the kids kept to make noise a little bit longer.  Of course they don't really know what all the hoorah is about.  And I' beginning to wonder myself.  I read the Declaration of Independence yesterday for the first time since I was in school.  The words haunted me in the backdrop of today's political climate.  

I made the mistake of ordering Instacart on the 4th of July at 4pm.  Needless to say it never came and evidently they are still backed up.  It is a Saturday, ya know.  The order is for food of course (plus a couple of things I forgot at the 'gentral).  I hate shopping so Lauren usually does it.  She will come home with some of the oddest things, but has introduced me to a healthier diet.  Sometimes.  There is always that "gotta' have Sonic" moment for us but it doesn't set well with the old gut.  

Either Trump bussed in a ton of people or everybody was just damn excited to be living under authoritarian rule.  A lot of people say "But what can we do?  You can make your voice heard in so many ways, even though nobody seems to be listening.  Both parties are dead set on demolishing each other when there should be concern about our government and its' agencies.  I wish I didn't feel that way and was oblivious to all of it.  I mean gah, there is a whole Project 2025 playbook.  Tell me this wasn't some plan!  With Putin in the background.  

The flash flooding in Texas is a chilling reminder of how strong nature can be.  And also how quickly things can change around a river.  All these poor folks who were trying to have a good time did not know what was coming.  I wonder if the NWS had warnings?    

Our rivers don't flood like that becase they are backwater usually.  The one time I remember a headwater following 13 inches of rain in Nashville, we were stranded for a week.  Access was granted for us to drive through the pasture and onto the runway at our regional airport.  Fun times!

Sweet corn is getting ready so there's that to look forward to.  I can't eat it off the cob anymore but that's okay.  It is also kinda tricky when it comes to an ostomy.  I know, TMI.  

I tend to ramble here and that's okay too.  It's my therapy of sorts, only I don't name people.  Does that make sense at all?  It is me talking about me and my world.  And that world is slowly shrinking.  It is a truth about getting old that many navigate alone.  Nursing homes are full of those folks.  Where are they gonna put us all when the homes close?  Oh yeah.  Alligator Alcatraz.  

It's almost Sunday again Mom ^j^

  

cat people

We are who we are, ya know?  I have learned a lot about boundaries by watching our two establish a relationship.  Bubbie talks now, like in a sentence.  It's so freaking cute.  I thought about Doonie today, the Moody cat who passed away.  He always kept us company at the pool and Nina took care of him.  I also remembered when they came to visit many years ago and Vicki wrapped our cats up "like a burrito" in blanket.  Rosie hates being held like that.  

I am watching bits and pieces of the house activity on the spending bill.  No surprises there.  Everybody is tired and ready to go home.  I did my part by contacting my people in both houses.  My guess is that none of them will be glad that they did next year.  By then the damage will be evident and  your doctor will be gone.  

I say these things because I worked in the healthcare industry for over forty years.  It's all about the money y'all.  Whether for profit, or not, they will get paid.  I must say that when we were Methodist it was a lot more fun.  Their slogan at the time was on a T-shirt that I had.  "We know what a miracle you are."  I truly believe that any corporate entity that delivers healthcare should be monitored closely for fraud and abuse.  That'ss because I worked there y'all.  Most of it is unintentional because medical coding is so complicated these days.  It's a never ending cycle of "we won't pay" from insurance and refiling.  I know, that's too much info.  

Y'all be careful with those firecrackers ^j^

gettiing outta' my head

I will be the first to admit that more than one side of a story makes it more interesting.  That's why I watch all of the big channels plus some podcasters. Hell I even watch FOX on occasion just for shits and giggles.  As a result of this overload of sensory information I pretty much forgot how to laugh.  So, I watch others who make me laugh.  I am bingeing on "Mom" right now whihle I have Netflix.  It goes away on Daddy's birthday ;)

I didn't see him on the day he turned 84 in the nursing home.  He never came back home and Mom had to move to assisted living.  Daddy died on August 4th, she moved in September and the rest is history.  I will never begin to forget the anguish on her face when we came to pick her up for the trip.  She had been up all night, blind as a bat trying to pack.  I should have stayed with her that night.  

It's odd the little things that I remember and slowing down the pace has allowed me to do just that.  We always hear about you life flashing before your eyes as you die, but I think the end of life is filled with opportunities to honor the past while enjoying the present.  

The bill is still being kicked around in true Congressional fashion.  From what I hear the House is not happy with what the senators did..  Except for the Dems, there are few who are against the bill on principle.  Most of the GOP memebers are doing what they can for constituents but the primary is a very real thought in their heads.  I sent my senator an email with an opinion and got an almost instant robo reply.  I'm sure Marsha personally read my passionate plea to save Tennessee healthcare.  We are one of several states that refused Medicaid expansion back in the day so there you go. The bill is sure to wreak havoc on care providers as well as patients.      I am in favor of a work requirement for those who are able.  That is not where the waste and fraud is.  Look deeper into the entire healthcare system and realize that it's all about the money.  Most of the fraud is perpetuated by greedy insurance companies.  Sad, but true.  

Call me crazy but I can already see changes in the shadows of the pecan trees.  I remember staying with Ms Reba last summer and sitting on her porch to smoke wondering when in the HELL those evening cicadas would go away.  The answer was September!  

New routines are being established and decicions made for the "five year plan."    If I am still alive, my funeral will be paid for by then...lol.  We have had just enough rain here so far and the crops look amazing.  And I am already counting down the days until the grass dries up and the pink ladies poke their heads out.

Life is so complicated for all of us.  We struggle with relationships both professionally and personally, all the while wondering why we aren't happy.  I have learned that it is normal to feel discouraged but when you do, go toward the light and think of what it is that you are grateful for.  Many days my list is many small things that I notice in nature.  That is what's cool about living in the country.  I mean besides living at the Field of Dreams ^j*