Sunday, June 29, 2014

when it rains it pours

I woke up to Booger's voice coming from somewhere between asleep and half-ass conscious. He does not come gently out of sleep, if you what I mean. As long as somebody is near for him to lay on while he watches a movie it's all good. Later as I was catching up on FB and his mama was in the shower I heard him start to wail after falling. Again. He's determined to climb those baby gates and when he pushed, it fell and so did his brother's suitcase. They all hit the floor at the same time and I think he was scared. It's one thing watching cartoon characters fly around in the air and sing and another to learn that you yourself do have limits. Who among us has not tied on a towel and played Superman? Mom went to work, brother sister and Boogs went to church and I was late picking daddy up.

I read somewhere that the rainfall total for this recent monsoon has been 11 inches and it ain't over yet. Daddy cheerily announced at eggs and doughnuts that it would stop tonight and be blazing hot tomorrow. Yay! (I said never) It's good for the corn and bad for the not yet planted beans. Daddy shared that he remembered one year they didn't get planted 'til August and that was the year he dropped my mama's very first digital camera in the backwater. We chatted at breakfast about farm history and the old haunted barn with silos that was built by Son Johnson who lived on the hill right below. A tornado took his house and that's when he moved down Samaria Bend across from our home. Forked Deer backwater always came up in the spring right close to the chicken house and hog barn. I remember wading in it and catching tadpoles. Back then I was too young to be afraid of Mr. Snake.

Per our totally connected lifestyle, I am messaging on the phone and typing a blog while listening to music. See what I mean about the ADHD? It's what makes me wander and makes piles where I can't find a damned thing. I think they make a pill for that and I sure could use some help focusing around this house. At work, not so much because there's always a routine and certain things expected. Not here buddy! Our household is on so many schedules and has so many piles we do good just to get where we're supposed to be in the vicinity of the proper time. Daddy was mad because I forgot to pick him up an hour early and nobody told me "recently" like yesterday when I was there, that the plan was different. Between BG, myself and Mom we got about 8 phone calls before we settled in to eat.

Rain, rain go away. Little Poopie wants to play^j^

Saturday, June 28, 2014

wild women and biker BBQ

One of my classmates with roots here is in and out for the summer when she's off the school calendar so we take that opportunity to gather up a bunch of girls and do lunch somewhere and LORD bless the server who deals with us because as we all know, the tickets are separate and the laughter is loud and genuine. We were the first ones to come in and got put in the corner booth that wraps around sixties style, which is exactly what we will all be soon. did that happen???? We talked about old lady things like driving at night and who's died. Mostly, we just giggle and talk about stupid stuff like the newest lesbian liquor store that I totally didn't know existed. And the name? Lucky Liquor. There was once a pretty rough biker bar between Newbern and Trimble called Lickety Split. Hey, you can't make this shit up.

Afterwards I stopped by the Kudzu bar where Timmy D and a boatload of volunteers are raising money for our friend Amy who has breast cancer. She and her parents have been like family to me for many many years with me being their advocate, so to speak, through several health crises. I bought a butt from Gigi so i slide up into that familiar parking lot in my nastyass trusty old Camry to visit and pick up the meat. All the guys were sweaty and I hugged the fire out of 'em anyway. It was the best of small town friendship and good will. The kudzu bar ought to be in Wiki by now because I've blogged it enough. Technically it's Dunagan's South Main Sports Bar. Prior to it was Bev's,Buttercup's,Sap's and assorted others. Geno came here when I was in my twenties and started the bar and deli where I hung out when I wasn't on freakin' call. That one was called simply "The Deli." It went on to be a catfish place and then burned. Now there's a church or something. Ah, the irony.

The corn is closing in on us and getting pretty creepy making me want to watch Field of Dreams instead of being scared of zombie children. I can actually feel the presence of that GMO wall that blocks us in. Allergies are out the roof because of all the rain and a moldy basement. No.Air.Moving. Except when a thunderstorm blows through, again. Beans aren't planted yet and it's looking late and iffy. I did see one little patch of them today but they were tiny. The weather was like this when my sister-in-law told me that she and my brother were divorcing. We sat on the front porch spring in the downpour and she told me all about it and how she needed to move on and I said "go girl." Legally blind, she went on to earn a college degree and is now a highly respectable state employee in our capital city. Here's a thread on that story. She married a guy who works with the USDA like my daddy did. Small world.

One of our lunchmates was talking about me posting funny stuff today and my response was that I just don't care any more what people think or how they judge me. That's a huge relief for somebody with my ADHD tender hearted soul. I remember Claude telling me about Adderol one time "Just tell the doctor you move papers around a lot." That's an understatement. Gigi's rule of thumb is never touch a thing but once. If you didn't use it, pitch it. Maybe I won't get selected for Hoarders Live after all.

Happy (almost) 4th of July. Let freedom ring, by God ^j^

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

peaceful kingdom

I managed to make it through the day without smacking anybody 'nor even a cross word on my part. Drama just wears me out even though I understand the cause at times. As a recovering CoD who has constantly been tested on my boundaries since my "aha" moment, I can honestly attest that the more you do the more others expect. As someone once told me "you did that to yourself." Indeed I did and I'm retiring from being ruler of the world anywhere anytime. I'll do what I can do when I get it done in a manner that is prompt and efficient which is what customer service is about. Sometimes we forget in the ancillaries that there are people on the other end of what we do who need care from the entire team. I carried some blood to someone today who had an entire village working to save her life. It's what I long for during days of tedium, even thought I know it's a shot in the dark sometimes. You gotta' try! We know each other and our families and we have codes for every type of emergency situation that might arise. It was chilling to find "active shooter" on that list recently. A sign of the times, I suppose.

Bound for me, Game of Thrones has been on free HBO the whole time I've had it and now it's going away. I don't have a clue what it's about but it sounds like another binge watch similar to House of Cards or Breaking Bad. I'll have to look at pricing on that because honestly? They're the only ones who have anything watchable besides NetFlix. Major networks bore the hell out of me with all the cop and detective shows. I met Tony Soprano on Showtime and that was also a passion for many seasons. I think the very first HBO produced film was one featuring my celebrity boyfriend who dies in the end. The Jack Bull maybe?

Shannah and Boogs are in the newly clean blowup pool splashing and playing to stay cool. He's a joy to watch as he explores his own boundaries with three strong willed women stopping him at every turn. Sister and brother are at church camp and I can only say praise Jesus and don't get in trouble. Their dad is there so it's not likely. I never went to church camp until I was in high school but I was at Girl Scout camp somewhere every single summer. I've got ancient pictures of my mother the senior scout and her buddies. Camp Hazelwood is still there I believe on the grounds of Kentucky lake. Girl Scouts have kind of lost their memberships because families in today's economy can't afford those things anymore. Mama's place was called Hiawathee on the Spring river in Arkansas. BG was a GS too and we were cookie chairmen for the ENTIRE county one February. That's a lot of boxes, ya'll. They are to me one of those not for profit groups who are top-heavy with national administrative fees while the locals get to be volunteer parents. Kind of like the National Cancer Society. Before you slam me on that one let me point out that we have a community cancer group that is ALL volunteer and they raise funds for local patients with BBQ sales. My friend Kay the funeral director is right up there in the middle of it. Remind me to tell you that story sometime.

You will not steal my joy. If you do? I did it to myself ^j^

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

fried green 'maters

My garden consists of three tomato plants in concrete blocks and they are doing fabulous so far with fair size green ones coming forth to fry. My daddy's rule was you couldn't pick a green one until there was one red one but I'm not that patient. They get dusted after every rain and watering so as to keep mr evil longhorn green worm from devouring the whole deal in a day. It's amazing how fast those little shits can move through an entire plant. I don't want to kill him, just keep him away but if I find him on there, he gets thrown into the cornfield where who knows WHAT lurks. It makes for some interesting wildlife action and I have passed deer at the same spot in the lane two days running. Today's little one was followed by a turkey, no less. I just stop and stare in wonder wishing I could capture the moment and share it.

I was off yesterday and we headed to Gigi's for a swim while Booger was at daycare, just us girls. It was lovely to say the least. Before we left all three of us tackled the slimy green blow-up pool just in time for the lawnmower guy to show up. Last time he mowed around it, bless his heart. His weedeater guy was even nice enough to help Shannah move the pool AND the garbage. Having a nice yard is something that I enjoy when I don't have to do it. There was a time when it was my hobby but that was many years and injuries ago. While we were rinsing out the slime with a waterhose this burgandy old ladies' care came pulling up to us from the lane and I figured they were lost and asked if they needed help. "Oh no" said the driver. "We're here to visit." Her passenger was a 95 year old woman whose daddy was the farm manager during the 20s and she had lived here. She remembers having to pick peonies out back and carry them to the basement for storage and packing prior to shipment. "People just can't afford nice flowers anymore" said Miss Mary. She shared that her little sister was born in what used to the dining room that now is Shannah and Booger's room. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses to keep in touch and explore the history of Pecan Lane further but I better not procrastinate on this one. At 95 she could be gone in a flash.

Mama fell again and I didn't get the message until about 12 hours later so I checked in with her to find one arm scraped of flesh and a sore body. I won't go apeshit on this subject choosing instead to set my boundaries firmly after years of listening to her crying, mostly because Daddy doesn't show her the attention she craves. is what it is. I asked her why she was getting out of bed anyway since he makes sure she's in before he goes to sleep on the couch. She said she "needed" tylenol. *sigh* She even tried to deny that it happened until she found out he had called me. Just like a little kids. Once an adult, twice a child. Part of me is grateful that they've been allowed to stay in their homeplace until death while the other part mourns the fact that they could have some good quality years in assisted living with socialization other than home health. Which starts back this week.

I talked to my therapist yesterday for quite awhile and as usual he knows me like a book. "I know you already realize all this...but here's the thing...." There are three major areas where I've been overloaded with stress which pretty much covers all of my life so I'm overdue for a meltdown. And I'm not just talking short term. Two of the three issues are long running with the third bringing me straight on down the rabbit hole in the past couple. Amazingly, I am still strong in spirit if not in body. I believe in my heart the God loves each and every one of us in spite of our imperfection and wicked ways. Thank god I'm a country girl recovering CoD.



Sunday, June 22, 2014

wheat straw justice

My parents live in the lowlands of our farm and have wheat all around which got cut yesterday and promptly burned. There's an art to that and I thought they did no-till but I guess it was too tough to plant around. The giant irrigation system is parked right by the road in all its' glory ready to water a crop of beans that will follow. Thus, the name wheat beans. Tony had breakfast duty today and Mama opted to pass on the eggs and doughnuts and visit her younger sister Nancy at the home. I called Daddy yesterday so he could write the code in his "little book." That's where his to-do list lives. His sisters rarely bother with visiting because he's such a horse's ass about the schedule but they're gettin' on up there too so everybody just needs to stay close to home. My mother is the master schemer of getting things done that she wants and needs and not putting anybody out, so to speak. We've done that for years with her asking when I was off to make appointments and now they just pay Tippi to drive them. My plate is full with work and survival.

Yesterday was busy at the sawmill but today, not so much so I made an early exit to start my day off with 1/2 extra fo' free. There were times when I didn't have the paid time off to afford that luxury. For that, I thank Big E. As part of the aging work force that serves healthcare consumers I can honestly say that I've never been more sorry about the delivery of care because it is totally inefficient. Just in my little town there are probably a hundred practitioners who can write orders and none of them are connected to the PHI that another provider has right there on file. Why, you ask? Because it keeps people busy shuffling papers.

Shannah and the kids took an extended vacay at their old place and it was totally enjoyed by all even though we missed them after a week. Part of the trust that the court system put in her is that she will continue to work hard caring for herself and her children in a stable environment. I'm not real sure how stable this particular house is but I guess it beats nothing. As long as everybody let's me do my own thing with minimal interference, it's good. There is, however, an inflatable pool full of slimy green water serving as a breeding spot for mosquitoes and that has to be dealt with. I mean, gah. Water is free thanks to the underground well and pump.

My long time friend and therapist called yesterday because I sent out an SOS call and we never touched base. We have a session tomorrow to catch up on all that is my life and I haven't even paid him for the last two. That's what's known as non-abandonment in his profession. Sometimes I marvel at how he's managed to be there on and off for 15 years. Everybody here is sick and not pooping right so there's that to deal with plus the heat and the smoke from a burning fire.

Politics in general are like watching the crazy kid slaughter people in a movie theater or school so I abstain. I'm stealth on that issue.


Friday, June 20, 2014

oh happy day

Well the world is rejoicing because it's the weekend but it's not a biggie to me because I'm working, so there. Plus it's hot as hades and steamy now since the thundershower. I've become my summer self which consists of inside daytimes and little adventures when there's a breeze. I was going through the lunch line and noticed a woman and young girl come in with "Feed the Need" stickers on their shirts and I knew exactly what they were doing. Taking meals to those who can't afford decent food. It's a once a month 100% volunteer food bank and it takes a lot of selfless folks to make it happen. That's when you know that nobody's trying to be a star, just to do the right thing. It was freaky friday so all the elderly were eating their reduced price meal and visiting. I saw Mr. John Fisher pulling up as I went through the doors.

So, the IRS stalked me noticed that I didn't report some income in 2012 which was totally my bad so now I owe them 1000 bucks due by July 16. If I don't have that amount available I can set up a "payment" plan until next year's return which they will fleece. If they only knew how much I detest that my money goes to people like the Kochs and Cheney. I see very little hope for our economy unless Big Ernie pulls a fast one and closes those tax loopholes. It's too late to start the whole process over, just fix it so that people aren't starving while working their asses off. In the heat. And rain. And cold. And dark of night!

I'm one of those who will give until it hurts and then whine about it but I try to make a conscious effort to maintain that attitude without getting hurt. Like my ex always said "expect nothing." That way you're pleasantly surprised when something goes well. I must honestly say that I've been betrayed by many people in my life and it was almost always my fault for expecting them to be as capable as I am of trust. I have stood with friends as they were having meltdowns and moving out on husbands and many other harrowing times. I once took a guy to his girlfriend' dad's funeral because she was still legally married. That was over there in Gibson county I believe. It's just what friends do.

Yaya and Redneck friend and I drank a boatload of beer together in our younger days, most of it at the kudzu bar. There was one particularly hilarious picture we took of Amy and Beverly in the evil vine up to their waists! Bev's husband Terry owned the place and died in an accident on the way to....Gibson county. Shortly thereafter Timmy D lost his position got booted out after 35 years of loyal service. He promptly bought the bar from Bev, got it going the way he wanted and found another job. Which is what we do now because there is no retirement or SS or neverland where you sit and read magazines, bake pies and knit. These are things that won't wait until you're "ready." I'm intrigued by the way we measure time as in I will be happy WHEN...i lose weight/graduate/get married/the kids are gone/etc. My mama has this big fat laminated pin on her bulletin board that says "Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal." Wise woman, she is.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

addiction and trust

We are Nurse Jackie fans like BAD and I bought three seasons of it before TV came back to the hill. I watched them and House of Cards over and over again while BG was "away" trying to grasp what it is that can take over a soul like Jackie's or Frank's. I've never wanted anything bad enough to steal or hurt other people but then I was trained to be a good girl by the best of the best. As a teenager, I couldn't understand that trust is something that has to be earned through acceptable behavior and firm boundaries. When I got caught? I was always sorry and expected that trust to be right back in the picture by the next week at least. Ummm, no.

Therapy showed me that even people with layers of issues like myself can come out from under the yoke of co-dependency and begin to care for themselves rather than everybody else. I tended to be quite cynical and angry during those years, going back and forth from that to a hot mess of tears and pity parties. As my personality changed and I became more focused on my own soul rather than the world at large, things became calmer...with me, anyway. The rest of the world kept on spinning out of control but I was somehow disconnected from the fear that comes along with worry about the future or shame from the past. I'm grateful for the turn of events that got me there or I would never have survived what was to come in the next fifteen years.

Big Ernie gives each of us a choice in EVERY situation to do the right thing. It's the old devil that comes up behind you and whispers "Come with me!" I believe that an open heart and constant intent to do good makes a difference in mankind, one life at a time. You can call me Pollyanna, but that's my story.

And I'm sticking to it ^j^

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

just another day

I totally forgot that Marf bought ice cream yesterday so we had it for lunch and it was yumyum. We then proceeded to send phone pics of ourselves behaving acting the fool in our break room to our absent boss. It's too hot for words and the lower floor has no air so we avoid that area like the plague. Poor pharmacy and histo are stuck there since days of old! Allergens are at an all time high with mold being a huge problem for me and mine. My friend mentioned today that I have too much house and she's right. For 24 years I've paid rent on an antique structure and almost killed myself trying to make it work. I don't need the stress.

I've been googling shoulder surgery trying to talk myself into it and most all experts agree that if it's a significant tear of that particular tendon, it must be fixed surgically. At least my recovery will be easier because of the treatments I get from Aunt Gay. BG is well on her way to being outta' here as soon as she earns some $$ to start off with. Sadly, there isn't much opportunity for growth in dying southern 'burgs. Which reminds me of my friend the river guy from Clarksdale, John Ruskey. Now Clarksdale is about as poor as a southern town can be but it's where the blues began moving upward toward Beale. John's business is a custom Mississippi river expedition company in dugout canoes made by him. The after school apprentice program has given many at-risk youth something to concentrate on besides poverty. Survival skills will keep them alive when all else fails. John and Sara and his daughter live at the Clarksdale outpost and there is also one in Helena.I was fascinated to see the performance of he and river buddy Mike's re-creation of Lewis and Clark, aka Ruskey and Clark. Mike lives near St Louis. Other landings around include Hickman KY and WK Ford in Dyer county. There is one in Blytheville that has a to-die-for view. I would never have seen these places had it not been for my friendship with a guy who started out in Colorado and floated his way to Mississippi right by the Sunflower. John was hired by our local Chamber of Commerce to take local officials and chamber people on a tour of the local Forked Deer and see how disgusting the trash is. That river runs through the south side of our town and floods on a whim. Nobody lives near it much anymore. There's this really cool iron bridge from the deserted residential area over to a path towards Dunagan's and David Lee's shop. Back in the day that was how traffic rolled in Southtown, I reckon.

My heart hurts thinking about how many people are dying each day in this world because of hatred and persecution. Just in case we Americans feel all smug about our "rights" as guaranteed by the Constitution a bunch of jihadists kick the government of Iraq's ass because we're not buying into their game. BG watched a conspiracy theory show about 9/11 today and was telling me about the odd angles of the planes and such. She had never noticed it and I doubt many of us did because of the shock at being attacked in such a big way, right in the heart of our financial district as if to say "there you infidels!" I do not believe that we were complacent enough to have those operatives flying under the radar for five years prior to the event. And for the record, if I turn up dead? The CIA did it.


Monday, June 16, 2014

standing room only

Today was a huge one for several folks including my buddies Shannah, Ashton and Frankie. Two years after entering a court sponsored program for drug offenders instead of jail time, they graduated to great applause and relief. I missed the first two plaques because they started early but was still part of the moment. The last time I was there was also a no seats affair and I ended up climbing into the jury box for the selection process. I never got called during my entire term. The grit and determination shown by these folks is astounding to a weenie like me. The first time a group got rowdy I'd just have to pitch a hissy fit and call the judge. Their humble leader is Mr. Hal who is an old school dude transitioned to fit the needs of today's society. It takes a village. The name of their haven is Here's Hope.

It's hot and I don't like it one damned bit. That right there should show you how hard I try to be a good girl because if I had to burn in hell I'd be toast in five minutes. Here are some things that I see happening in the near future warwise. Buddying up with Iran is a wise choice, particularly since they are mostly likely the ones with WMD. Everybody knows Hussein didn't have them and that killing Bin Laden wasn't the end of terrorism. Those people are generations inbred with sectarian tendencies toward violence and hostility, totally losing the peaceful Muslim principle of communion with a loving god. Jesus doesn't have to be in their version of worship, just saying.

My friend Money Mike is Hindu (of course) and he and his otha' brother MikeII run several convenience stores and support their families quite well. BG used to work for him so we're all family up in there including Sara. He has to travel to a temple to worship and I'm not sure what that's all about but he's a nice guy and has been a good friend to me so I could care less. You see....HERE'S THE THING. God is love and God is good. All the time ^j^

Sunday, June 15, 2014

swattin' flies

Hardly a day goes by that I don't visit a dollar store for something and I've forgotten every time to get a three pack of flyswatters in various neon colors. I can still smack one even with my sore arm! My friend Lorna was being Buddha to her granddaughter the other day and showing her how "sparkly" the fly was on her arm in the sun. It's a different story when they're on your food and whatnot. I know where those bastards come from.

It's been really quiet around Casa Poops this week since Boogs and family have been staying elsewhere. It was a week of vacation for all of us because it was a damn long winter in this old house. Booger is getting to the age where two naps is too much and one isn't enough. He literally wears himself out exploring and interacting with everybody who pops within view. "Haaaayyyyy" with a big grin is his trademark. The baby pool is green again but I'm not dumping it alone...I couldn't if I wanted to. It's around 90 but not really humid yet...I just don't seem to be able to take the heat anymore. It must be an old people thing or something.

I slept like the dead last night thanks to Benadryl and a frozen bottle of water for my neck. Stretching is becoming more and more important and I can actually feel the right side of my body contracting which may or may not be from the fall. More than likely, it's carpal tunnel syndrome gone bad. I had CT surgery on the left which was showing symptoms at the time. It took about six months for the symptoms to go away but was worth it. I'm not real sure about six weeks in a sling. We shall see.

I'm excited about the upcoming elections because I see more and more people turning away from talking heads and using their informative powers to make a personal choice about candidates and what they stand for. Our sheriff's race is heating up and there's an ad in the local rag for police chief. Maybe BG can apply for that!!! State representative Fincher has an office on our court square but I've never seen anybody in it. That would be the office right next to the newly constructed beer garden that never got used. Local politics are alive and well in Dyer County. We are the place where a sitting sheriff got arrested for sheep theft in a Missouri motel. I didn't say we're proud of it, but that's what was happening for years through his term and his father's multiples. We were also the subject of national news when a sitting judge was convicted of using his power to get sexual favors from women who had cases pending. Once again, I wasn't there but it was a big deal for a long time....LOOOOng time. He's still in prison and I don't get it because he's an old man now and sitting there spending his life behind bars for the past. I bet Obama would pardon him!

I read yesterday that TN is the 3rd most corrupt state in the country and it cited the Ford family et al for their Tennessee Waltz scam. He and his family also raped Tenncare which was an excellent program until the greed factor came into play. Phil Bredesen was the point man on that program and I grieve the day that the Memphis bunch ruined it for everybody. There was daycare and healthcare for those who needed it to raise a family in one of the poorest states in the nation.

I'm off to google my state legislators. Ya'll enjoy Sunday afternoon ^j^

Saturday, June 14, 2014

you might be a 'merkan

Well, unless I've missed something we're still not going back to Iraq so when it all shakes out, they'll figure out who is in charge. And it won't be the US, by any means. Our war mongering Big Ike mentality when it comes to who needs a government like ours is absurd. I am quite upset, though not surprised, that McConnell and company killed the student loan bill because that would be the biggest shot in the arm our economy could get. People with huge debt have no $$ left over to buy things that they want like new cars and houses and stuff. After food and utilities and transportation, there's rarely anything to save for a rainy day or emergency.

I was up at 7 which is early for a day off but the sun looked so good and it's not hot yet so I went on a hunt and gather mission to the grocery store and to get Daddy a father's day gift. It's a beautiful redwood finch feeder and some thistle. To heck with those cheap plastic things! They also had PLASTIC purple martin houses which I found rather ironic since they're a feed store. Daddy always made his out of gourds and he watched their migration every year. Now he does good to remember anything other than the exact time. My nature girl ways come straight from him because Mama never did much like to sweat though she did play the part when they were younger and had gardens and flower beds. Both of them were quite involved with the county fair and Daddy is a past president.

My dad is one of the most loyal servants I've ever known and following early retirement from the US government he spent most of his time volunteering for those less fortunate. So did Mom...always, with the both of them it was about giving back in response to blessings received. They are faithful tithers to their home church still to this day, and regular with their attendance. Daddy and I were in the choir together for years, he a tenor and my alto self. This was during the tenure of Mark Locke as director and though demanding, the services were always filled with beautiful music. Except for that day Mrs. Charlene Fisher talked me into playing the piano. Bad,Bad,Bad I was. I doubt Jesus even liked it. My relationship with my father has been one of misunderstanding for a lot of years with me being verbally abused in anger because he didn't know any other way to relate. I remember around the age of 40 when he called me out in front of a bunch of my peers and I thought I'd smack him right then and there. Instead, I cried. My brother can be just like him and has made me cry almost as many times. They just don't understand women, but then who does?

Happy Father's Day to all those who have guided young lives with love including Billie G Stafford. Love ya...mean it

Jane ^j^

Friday, June 13, 2014

less government, more fridays

You know, I can totally understand those who are against government involvement in our lives as in the NSA and facial recognition technology. Also, I think the government's accounting system is pretty crappy, most especially when it comes to our tax dollars being used wisely. This is not a partisan thing by any means. I do totally understand that our dependence on foreign oil must cease and that cutting the country in half with an oil pipeline isn't the only answer. Sure Canada has oil and they want to sell it. That can be accomplished in safer ways and in smaller volumes if we learn to cut carbon emissions in order to care for our earth. It's the only one we've got, remember?

Enough about Benghazi and Dubya and Monica and Cheney. The time is now for leaders of the two major parties to consider who their constituents are and move closer to the middle where they can, if not touch, at least speak. Cantor is gone so there's that and I doubt old Mitch will live to filibuster many more times. There should be an age limit on serving in Congress just like with driving. So what if they pitch a fit when they lose the keys!! Term limits. Those two simple words are enough to motivate the ones who really WANT to make a difference to rally their troops without spending millions on campaigns. We all saw how that turned out in Virginia. How that plays out remains to be seen. If that future includes Bachmann or Palin, count me out not because they are women but because they are playing dumb and cute with our lives and "family values."

Now I may be wrong on this, but hear me out. How can it be right to torture someone to death legally but not to legally terminate an early pregnancy. Killing is killing. If ya'll quit frying people I might reconsider my stance on other things. Also? Not everybody has your God and believes that all children deserve to be born into a society where marriage is no longer the norm, much less a stable family environment. If I knew then what I know now about marriage I would have never gone there like I did. It was "expected" and I was obedient. I rode into the sixties on the ass end of upper middle class scenario in the Old South. My grandparents had lots of money and she got to play bridge instead of work. Oh, and there was the garden club too. He was long gone by then, dying of heart disease at the age of 45. Mama still cries for him almost 40 years later.

Looking at what I know to be the risk of surgery in this day and time I'm meeting again with the doc to check range of motion and see if options have changed. Plus maybe get a shot to get by! Myofascial release is a wonderful treat and has kept me from being in severe pain along with OTC meds. My friend Scott had neuro-surgery and can't walk straight now so he came over to get a CT scan of his brain yesterday and showed off his super duper back belt. Dude has hardware up in that joint, just saying. Marfie is getting two kittens today and already has a treehouse and robo litterbox ordered. Names are still up in the air.

Sweet corn still looks about three weeks out but it should be good because there's been plenty of sun and rain. As for the GMOfest surrounding me, I stay inside a lot not by choice but by necessity. Every time it rains that crap just hangs in the air like poison. Oh, is!!

Ya'll have a good one and remind somebody how special they are. You never know who may be having a bad day and need to keep the faith ^j^

Thursday, June 12, 2014

retirement and terrorism

This stunning woman crossed my path today and I guessed her age to be around fiftyish. She is 65 and said since she retired it's been nothing but things happening with her health. I smiled in understanding and told her that's why I'd work 'til I drop. Oh, and of course there's the money thing. I get by with no new clothes except from the DG and I have a very good job. The crash hit everybody hard especially students who graduated into the lean years after loaded with debt. When I was in college it was conceivable to put yourself through school if you had a good work ethic and/or comfortable middle class parents, it could be done. We will never see that again in our lifetime. Like my FB friend Carl says "return to the Dark Ages."

So there's an Islamic state in the making? Not our business until they cross the borders again. The way I see it our years of involvement there left them with a great way to kill each other over centuries old nit picking bullshit about whose ideology is correct. Think Christianity times a kazillion sects, many of them tribal. When our forces pulled out and the dust settled, thousands of lives were lost over something that will always be. I hope Halliburton and all involved enjoy the heat that the devil will bring them. You too Cheney.

GH Bush is 90 today and jumped out of a plane or chopper with a parachute which I think is mighty cool. I mean what have you got to lose?????? However, that by no means I'll be voting for Rand Paul. Cousin Debbie warned me about his Kentucky political style. He's riding on his daddy's coattails with his own agenda. Somebody a good bit toward the middle is needed for the GOP to attract undecided voters because the tea party scares the shit out of most folks except the ones who like guns and hate the government. Anarchy, I'm telling you. Enjoy life while you can!

I'm looking at the potential Democratic alternative to hard line southern men that are too stubborn to compromise. Our economy is DYING people. A lot of it in our state comes from tourism but when there's no money to spend, guess what's the first thing to go? Reelfoot Lake was created by an earthquake in 1812 when native Americans lived there and the Big Muddy had a hiccup. As the lake has filled in a couple of small towns have been a frequent destination for many who like West TN outings for fishing and whatnot. There is a state park and nature conservatory with snakes that all the kids can hold if they like. Ya'll know I didn't touch the damned thing when I went!

I think that's why the rainbow was so beautiful the other day...kind of God's way of showing us that all is not lost even if the world's going to hell in a handbasket. Let something go and if it returns? It's yours.


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

pork barrel politics

One thing about all the rain is that there have been some to-die-for rainbows lately. Most of the time I see it from my back porch ending somewhere over the golf course and airport. The one yesterday was exactly what I needed to help me believe that it all works out. So what if the world is ending and Cantor lost to a damn econ professor after shelling out 11M plus for a sure win campaign. Note to Keith: Watch out Robert Reich might get elected!! What disturbs me the most is that the hatred is still there as Mosul falls with Baghdad right behind it. For this we spent billions of dollars and lost thousands of lives? Jesus wouldn't like that. It was all about the fuel, you know. Blame it on the Koch Brothers that we're rapidly losing coastal areas due to hurricanes and oil spills. My friend Lorna dropped by today to bring some iris and brought her granddaughter Gracie who is just so freakin' adorable I'm sure we'll be friends forever. We did a few pics and caught up on a year's worth of the state of our lives which are remarkably similar. She and Carol were friends and I became friends with both. They have taught me the value of organic living and holistic medicine.

Charlie and I talked today about how you can spot an old Vietnam vet from a mile away because they always have the hat or vest or something on all the time. Her ex had her all over the world during his Army days and even now she is one of the only ones who understands when he has a PTSD episode and needs to know who was there with him. They lived in Alaska during most of the time he was deployed in Iraq. So I'm thinking now I really know how those poor folks in the Euro region feel with kings and queens partying on tea and crumpets while there are beggars in the street who didn't choose that life. My grandmother Gaga actually went to meet the queen during the 60s. Debbie said she remembers them taking her to the train station to hook up with a giant ship named after said royalty. As ME says "it's good to be queen."

The sawmill has been surprisingly manageable probably due to the fact that TN didn't expand Medicaid options and hospitals are dying. I've written to all the Republicans in charge of our great state and they don't like my political views. I get copied and pasted emails from their staff when I think to check Yahoo! One of these days southern good old boys, you will lost your grip and when you do? I will laugh and laugh. It is not by accident that the major industry of many states is healthcare. Hell we're all old with one foot in the grave.

Keep the faith ^j^

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

room for the spirit

When I first found out what happened to my BG, I was stunned because I'm her mama and, as she told me later "you had enough other things to worry about." The truth was raw and ugly and made even moreso by the failure of her BF to believe her. He comes from a family that is filled with bible belt tongue speaking religion and a closet whiskey habit, always hidden and carefully calculated to block out his pain. The way I see it, we're all fighting some kind of demon and if you can give somebody a boost, Jesus smiles and all is well. When G lived here he brought every piece of his life thus far and stashed it in my moldy basement where the snakes live. And the rotten saddle.

Looking back, I see foreshadowing where the 12 step process is concerned because I was sittin' on the porch one pretty day and had an Aha! moment with NA. Of course the only thing I've ever been addicted to is beer and ciggies but I've watched enough Nurse Jackie to understand that drug addiction is tough, and physical withdrawals are even tougher. Aftercare is the key to, if not completely sober,that somewhat of a buzz that comes with doing a job and taking care of yourself to transition. Shannah gave birth to Austin when she was 14 years old and living in Trimble. His father failed to step up to the plate so her parents and next husband took him in. Several years later Tori came along and I can't say for sure but I sure would have been overwhelmed with two little kids. At some point she decided to get wild and ended up in drug court for two years. This is a program designed to help addicts with sentences to start a new life if they will only try. I've seen probably 50 of them in any given month and it's all court ordered to save them from a harsh sentence. If they fail the piss test or don't stay in touch with the probation officer, they're in trouble. I'm thinking that Diane knew from the start who would make it and who wouldn't. On Monday the four of them will graduate from drug court and I'll be there in the wings.

If you like moonshine, Michael Ballard from Full Throttle Saloon is your man since last weekend and the opening of the new distillery. The crowd was expected to top 10k with most on bikes so that saves on parking. I'm so sure that my cousin Pattye did not approve. She's married to the Baptist preacher up there. Ya'll know they won't speak to you when buying alcohol.

Pam died and that sent S into a tailspin that ended up, well, in jail. After that she went to drug court for two years and raised three kids all the while trying to get a decent job and a car to get there. She has shown me determination beyond my wildest dreams and I truly feel that Big Ernie played a part in all that. Sometimes you just have to wait for the story to unfold.


Monday, June 9, 2014

voice recognition

We were talking at work today about how technology has changed in the area of medical records and transcription. Millions of workers have spent countless days of their lives trying to understand a doctor's mumbling into the crude little mic that went on rounds with him. Dictation is tough, especially if you don't know the practitioner so here's when advanced technology comes in with voice recognition. I didn't realize until recently that smartphones do the same thing. If the computer hears a specific voice enough times, it puts an identity to it. I wish I could tell you that all is well in the world of corporate IT but sometimes that's just not the case. Doctors are notorious for wanting to do it their way and for not wanting to learn the rules at the place where they are being paid thousands of dollars by Medicare and insurance companies. The FDA is a biggie in the area of transfusion medicine and I swear to you when I started this job chicken inspectors were doing lab inspections.

As a new grad I did ten years of night call for time and a half but I was young enough to deal with the sleeplessness. Plus we had diet pills to help a girl along. I will never forget crying with my boss about how I just couldn't do the call any more most especially with a baby. That's when we got a third shift and the lab became a 24/7 event. We went from Coulter to Ortho to KDA from boiling test tubes and getting cussed out by specialists who didn't have a clue what our lives were about. People are living longer because of huge investments into insurance and big Pharm. My official retirement age for SS is 67 which is only ummm...9 years away. Come on know you would love some Poopster.

I realized officially in my brain today following a sleepless night, that the bitch in my shoulder must be dealt with. The pain is now steady, even with restricted activity and OTC meds. As a right hander I've worn that side of my body to the bone tapping on a typewriter and then later on a keyboard. I took shorthand in college but that quickly became out of date just like transcription. Imagine that.

We're waiting for another storm to roll in from the south so ya'll send blessings to all of us on this hill. We have dodged the bullet several times before. Nothing like being high on the bluff when a tornado strikes.


Sunday, June 8, 2014

random faith

Today is (as we all know) eggs and doughnuts only I'm tired of eggs so I get sausage rolls and hash browns. The usual crowd didn't show so there were about five tables of us sitting there doing our own thing. Right when I walked in the door a girl I've known since her childhood gave me the biggest hug ever and I totally called her by her sister's name. Sometimes, ya'? She and her friend left a while later and the word spread among those of us ready to check out that the bill was taken care of. Pay it forward sister...always ^j^ One of our local churches has started that wave of kindness and it's spread out of the sheer love involved with anonymous giving. And of course, BF has amazed me over the years in that way. It's everywhere if you take yourself out of the picture and walk in the shoes of others. The key is letting your grace be known by not needing applause.

I'm told over and over again that I must be perfect because there is no room for error in my profession. I don't know about ya'll, but I think that's a tad unrealistic. I strive for it always, and occasionally cross the finish line but for the most part I'm jut a tired old gal who needs a break. I am not alone in my struggles because most of my co-workers are in the same boat except for the new grads. I am the kind of personality who has spurts of organization and tends to be lazy and a big time procrastinator. If I can put it off until my day off/weekend you can bet I will. And that time passes and here it all still sits. My room is organized except for dirty blankets from muddy dogs all over the floor. You should have seen BG and me in the yard this morning trying to dump the plastic blow-up pool. I thought I for sure I was gonna' have a heart attack.

I noticed even more today that Mama doesn't have a clue who is who up at the pulpit in Dyersburg FUMC. Today it was lay people doing the service which is a hallmark of Methodism. Gary Lawsom has been the director of Lakeshore for as long as I can remember and he posted some damage pics following the straight line winds around the camp. I was booked for an Emmaus Walk there many years ago and of course didn't go. The people who wrote me letters remain special and now and again I read them to remember their faith in me. I like living in such a way that I can see God's hand in everyday life one soul or spirit at a time. A true believer of any tribe should be able to do that.

Okay...stop me if you've heard this one. Cathy and I chatted about church during and after our porch visit next door to where the former minister rallied their troops following a bizarre history beginning with rock star and ending as keeper of the flock at St. Johns in Memphis. And one of their associate pastors is a doctor who has set up a wildly successful not for profit clinic. That's the Methodist church I need to see. I will go to my grave believing that basic healthcare is a human right and that Jesus meant it when he talked about the least of these.

How's that for a sermon? I saw Mr.Snake for the first time today and backed up to make sure he was really dead which he undeniably was and covered with flies to boot. It was right in front of Mozella the mayor's house. I'm taking that as a positive sign rather than dwelling on that hearse down by the end of the road.


Saturday, June 7, 2014

four points

I intended to visit another funeral today and after the dolla' store run decided that this little hiccup and gas thing was turning into a full blown bug so I had to pass. When I came in the door of said store the sweet 'lil thing said hello and smiled and I considered the irony of my reason for visiting the manager. Earlier in the week when I was checking out with a couple of items she was rude and made some kind of remark as I left about "people who think they're somebody." Now, I'm just saying. If you consider an old gal in cut off sweatpants and no bra a threat, you got attitude. Manager lady said it was the first complaint so I guess maybe she was just having a bad day. I then proceeded to shop a little and ran into several people I know and haven't talked to in eons so of course we all hugged and stood around next to the cheaply made goods that are vintage DG. At least we don't have to drive ten miles for milk. Kim is a candle maker and I put in an order for a mango which is my all time favorite. Oh, and Mediterranean Fig in that little house box.

Following our mini-derecho the other day limbs are being cleared and such and the sun is finally out heating up all that moisture into humidity. Yay! That's why I stay inside a lot because southern belles just wilt when they sweat glisten. I have a house full today with Shannah at work. At the moment three of them are watching one of Booger's movies, all snuggled up together. On my way home I saw an old hearse for sale at the junk place with a "for sale" sign on it and I thought back to when the coolest guy in town drove one. He was my crush and several years older. If I'm not mistaken it had an American flag painted on it. Oozing hippieness.

I'm now the proud owner of a two year contract with a sat provider and still can't find what I want because of all the fluff. I wandered through BG's room the other day and she was watching some weird kind of reality show, the kind that brings out morbid fascination in even the least of freaks. About the worst ten minutes ever is the time when the recording of Chelsey includes the end of the Kardashians. Talk about morbid!

Today's music to blog by? John Mayer, thankyouverymuch. Love ya. Mean it.

Friday, June 6, 2014

mercedes benz

If you had told my hippie ass thirty years ago I'd be listening to Iggy Azalea as an almost sixty year old single smartass, I probably would have given you a really blank stare because that's not what I expected. What I got instead of a white picket fence was 48 years, give or take, in a place that's like paradise to wildlife. I left the red log cabin for college in the big city and got my own place after graduation. I married the wrong man out of guilt, had a child with him and he almost died at age 39 from a massive heart attack. Clot busters saved his life that time. When he ended up with a crack habit, it was a different story. His truck was repo'd in December one year and he spent Christmas in jail for a felony that placed him in the wrong place and time with another crack user. The job went before the truck, by the way. The entire time we were married I worried about him and I'm happy to say he's been clean and sober for six years after becoming employed through the recovery center where he received treatment

So many people look at addiction as something to be ashamed of, and anything that becomes a necessity to keep the boat floatin' can present a problem. Sex addicts are some of the most charming men I've ever met, and can be the deadliest. Most everybody is addicted to more than one thing even if it's some sort of ritual or chant. Anything to bring peace to the place where there is a hurtful heart. One of my favorite songs ever is Get Over It by the Eagles and it tells the story of bitching and moaning and kicks the inner child's ass. I do believe that at some point in life, that has to happen because nothing good can come into a place with bad karma like that hanging around. I was into drama a bit in high school and actually did a performance one night as Janis Joplin, complete with velvet dress and messed up hair. I knew every word to that song and still do when I hear it.

Booger came to the sawmill today and got passed around and oohed and ahhed over by everybody in the house. A couple of my co-workers have connections with him through those family type relationships where you give somebody a place to stay in faith that a life will be enriched. On June 16th three of my favorite people will graduate from a two year recovery program that is overseen by a local judge. His honor believes in giving people chances if they make an effort to work the steps through the two year program court sponsored program. It's hard for many of them because they have minimal job opportunities, most especially when shackled with a felony drug conviction. You can bet your sweet ass mine will be up in that courtroom with a camera, in scrubs. Maybe somebody can cover at the sawmill???

And that's what's up on the lane.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

and then the bottom fell out

It's still tornado season around these parts and it seems like El Nino or whatever is responsible for wreaking severe thunderstorm and hail havoc is in charge. Looks like a long four days for the heart of West Tennessee. During my brokest days and beyond, I kind of turned into a recluse not by choice but by necessity. I'm still not used to being able to just up and go do something enjoyable without worrying about the loan sharks getting me. I've still got one, and it's high interest BUT...there are no more payday loans or much owed to propane guy. I still owe the dentist but as I make financial amends, his shall be paid as well. In hindsight, I should have just had 'em all pulled and gotten an upper. I grew up in the country where water was not fluoridated which makes a huge difference in the quality of dental health.

Yesterday we finally christened Gigi's pool with our presence and soon were joined by Emme and Evan and Finley who fought and played and generally did the brother/sisters thing. We have watched those kids grow up around the pool back to the first time Evan jumped off the board. Lord, how the years pass. After a little fun in the sun I headed to Crockett county to visit my friend Cathy on her porch. We sat there in the heart of downtown Friendship drinking wine (beer for me, of course) and talking about small town life and who's doing what. Patsye picked me up in her hot convertible and there I went braless looking like a person of WalMart headed for an afternoon of sisterhood. It wasn't until I got home that I realized the beautiful red GalaxyS4 that Josh talked me into was missing. We called it..not a sound. I searched the car this morning and Gigi's pool in the early daylight and nada. Frantically I sent a FB message to Cathy and Patsye telling them what's up because I don't know their numbers because I have no phone. Oh, yeah, thank you Matthew Zuck.

Work was fairly calm which means it's summer at sawmill land and I can get into that mode a little more often if you know what I mean. Torn shoulder, ya know. Also in hindsight, I should have promptly visited an orthopedic doc after the 2nd fall and got her did. My bad, which is usually what comes of being a martyr. I don't play nearly the good little girl that I used to. It took seeing my mother come un-glued multiple times to help me realize that it's a dead end street to play the victim. I stopped by the corner drug store for a few things and about the time I pulled out of their lot the monsoon began. The farther south I drover, the harder it got. I don't even have a dang decent umbrella!

We have caller ID at work and mid-day I saw my number show up knowing that my baby was found! Cathy had searched flower beds and finally found it under a chair cushion the same color. JoAnn had already mentioned how far I've come to not be hysterical over not knowing where it was. Hey...with the life I've lived the past few years? I figured it will just turn up after I do my part.


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

breakfast of champions

Every now and then a crack dealer mother of some kid or another will come around with a sign up sheet for the most richly indulgent pastry ever, the famous Butter Braid. I've tried several kinds but now stick with the cream cheese stuffed one because anything with cream cheese is my BFF. It has that same kind of glazed icing that Mama used to spread on our cinnamon rolls. I forgot I had ordered one until I found it in the freezer at the sawmill. We've even had THEFT of butter braids up in there, they are that good. Mine was discreetly wrapped in a plastic sack for safe keeping and now sits on top of the stove dripping with goodness. My 2nd favorite breakfast food is cold pizza. Go figure that one.

I can't really tell if my shoulder is worse or it's just a getting old thing with the joints because now BOTH of them ache. A lot of my pain comes from tight muscles and computer use. Tap tap tap all day at work and then tap tap some more on the blog and FB. I do know that I've been told that if the tear is not fixed within 6-12 months, it's permanent. I need that arm to make a living and other important things like driving(to work. Sugardaddy has failed me so it's just me against the wolves until I die or retire or get taken off on a space ship. I feel sure there will be dung beetles involved somehow, right Hoss?

Everybody's getting all pissy and mad over the gun vs knife vs what kills people is people agenda. I'm such a conspiracy theorist I see the latest rash of stabbings as endorsed by the NRA to further their business. It doesn't matter WHAT kills people, except that guns are a way to do it multiply and quickly and that's scary. Once again, I'm not a purist on the issue because I see the right to have hunting gear and qualified handgun ownership. Automatic weapons are not the answer to anything but war. No wait, they didn't stop that either. They just made Cheney richer.

This demolibtard is not praising our President by any means. I have listed before what I see as his weaknesses and that won't go away. That being said, google the NDAA and actually read it. My friend Chris schooled me on that one yesterday and mentioned that one of my fav politicians helped put it through. Well, in a way they ALL did. As I understand, the bill is now ready for President Obama to sign. Or maybe it's already happened. ANYwho...While we are all busy claiming party loyalty and calling each other names, our elected officials are busy perpetuating that hatred because it benefits them. Non-partisan statement.

Boogs and I played a little ball this morning while his mama got ready to go "byebye". He still doesn't understand the rolling back and forth game, choosing instead to just carry one in each hand doing his little drunk man walk saying "Dadadadadada". Or heyyyyyyyy with a big grin. After that I wandered in the yard noticing several toadstools. I did finally see some lightning bugs last night which gave me great faith that all is not lost. They stay close to the house though, and I don't blame them! I fed Faith's rose bushes and remembered not only her burial but when we buried Butterbean by car headlights with Eva Cassidy's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow playing. You can't make that shit up, ya'll. Oh, and remember the freakin' K9 unit came out the night Faith died and I almost went to jail. There's no telling how many animals we've buried here over the years and their souls have returned to pet heaven.

Monday, June 2, 2014

hip to be square

Booger's outside just a swinging but it's already too hot for grammaw to play much. Plus humid, mucho grande and lotso' bugs. Evidently the dogs have worn off their Sevin dust because I found critters on me last night. I'm getting to be a real pro at spotting and murdering those little bastards. HATE 'em worse than a snake. No, wait..not really. For the first time I've noticed that there are no lightning bugs around which probably means they're avoiding the Monsanto cornathon and golf course roundup extravaganza. At least I'm upwind from the course or I'd really be suffering. Up until about five years ago, there were acres and acres of pasture for the cattle to graze on. One of my most vivid memories of my Daddy at dementia onset is of him driving like a madman chasing cows out of the crop field across from my house slapping the side of his truck and hollering some word which I still don't know. It must have been cow talk and they didn't talk to me. I think maybe Yaya talked to them on one occasion. There may have been a bit of illegal substance involved that night, but I can't say for sure. Ya'll know how the memories fade.

I also remember setting my room on fire one time just to see a UT pompom burn on my bulletin board. Hell yes..rebel to the core and also closet pyromaniac. Now that I have a yard with lots of limbs to burn I can get a fix that way. As long as it's not around November when there's a burn ban. I'll never forget the time I did that and the flames took off like gas across the dry pasture. My friend Debbie the author was visiting from Texas and she jumped out and grabbed a rake to help me keep the whole damn place from being torched. The only comfort I had at that point was that it would stop at the road or ditch or both, hopefully. We went to see RENT together and it remains one of the most moving musicals I've ever seen. Layers of issues, ya'll.

I'm currently listening to Huey Lewis and the News which always makes me happy. I saw them with my girlfriends at the Coliseum in Memphis along with an introduction to Robert Cray live and in person. There are currently several venues for live music in Memphis but the FedEx Forum is the place to be for sports and big name stars like the country ones. Mud Island was the perfect place to listen to music and chill. Nice meeting facilities as well. I was never much of an Elvis fan as in, I live 80 miles away and still haven't been to Graceland, mainly because it's in the hood. There have been some great acts at The Garden Live series.

I ran into a childhood friend today who is having some serious health issues and I was amazed at how good she looks considering what she's been through. I rarely tell people I'll be praying for them because I'm scared I'll forget. I told her just that and it shall be. Also for my dear friend Liz who is facing big time heart surgery in the AM. Our mamas worked together at the State of TN unemployment office for years on end until Mom had a hissy fit and said to hell with it. She retired just in time to spend oodles of time with BG as a baby. On the way to some destination I noticed that her childhood pre-school is no more and that made me sad. There was no preK in public schools so we who were lucky enough paid for our kids to go to "Miss Carol's." Drop 'em off early, Philip and Jessie don't mind a bit. She was an angel in both of our lives. She had parties and took pictures and more or less made being a kid with other kids fun. Their curriculum included the alphabet and numbers and all that matching stuff. She learned to write there. Entering public school at the tender age of 4, she did just fine until puberty. For three years I couldn't stand the sight of her smart ass and that's normal I think. My co-dependency played a large part in her young life and I'm amazed that she's overcome that.

Anything else you wanna' know?